[PahaSapa]

hi. i wanted to reach out to some other people on here that might have gone through the same thing, dealing with their addiction and how that effected their kids.

both of my parents were alcoholics and drug addicts. i grew up with a lot of violence and abuse. i had a lot of problems with addiction of my own. i'm now married and got two kids. when my son was born i was still drinking. i wasn't there for him when he was a baby like i should have been. when he was two i went to treatment and i've been sober since.

i thought we were ok. i never hit him or yelled at him and he always toys and clothes enough to eat and nothing to worry about so i didn't think anything that happened when he was a baby effected him. but now he's six and he's having problems with anxiety and anger. and i think that is coming from when he was so young and wanted to play but daddy was drinking out in the garage or passed out on couch. or gone for months in treatment.

i hate myself for being like that. i love my family very much and i want to make everything right but i'm afraid that there is nothing i can do to make up for that. i worry that when he is older he will struggle with addiction to.

is there anyone reading this that has gone through this with there children? and have any advice on what to do?

[CANDC]

PahaSapa, this line hit me between the eyes

but now he's six and he's having problems with anxiety and anger. and i think that is coming from when he was so young and wanted to play but daddy was drinking out in the garage or passed out on couch. or gone for months in treatment.

It is not your fault man. It really isn't. Sure you made some poor choices but that is not the only influence in a baby's life. It could be school that is bending your child out of shape. It was a difficult transition for me. It could be the neighbor's kid.

Please don't take on any more blame. It only puts more distance between you and your child.

We can't go back and change the past but we can start living today the way we feel is right in our hearts. Love yourself. Here is a way to take care of yourself so you can be there for your children.
What is Loving Self-Care | In Your Own Hands

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[brainhi]

I would have loved to hear your story come from my own dad... it never did. I respect your ambition to make a better life for all concerned. The guilt will not help anyone. Thanks for sharing your story. It's nice to know about those that are turning things around. Your son might need some help - nothing be ashamed of... help him learn.

[PahaSapa]

Thank you very much for your support.