Need to control your surroundings

Hi.

My father is an ACoA he has this compulsive need to control. I am not able to eat or drink water in his presence cause of his monitoring, I get a feeling that he is counting my bites or sips. When I open my eyes now, I got myself into a practice of walking 20 minutes to one artesian well in my city, every second day at around 9-11pm to pour a water into 2L bottle and hide it in my room only so I could drink when I have need to.

I get it, it went too far, and this is not the only issue, but cause of too many unspoken or pointed out weird behaviors, it is easier to- and I got myself modifying my activities pretty much. He is 65 and his pride don't even allow him to learn to use mobile phone.

My mother is another issue, she just recently took a leading role in some local evangelistic church (she is also pretty controlling, but in her, religious own way). Both of them act like they never made one single mistake in their lives and there is not even an option for them to question their own behavior. Every their wrongdoing is deniable - of course, in this social experiment called 'family', there is no higher power who will judge them.

I can't remember when was the last time someone pointed out some problem in our relationships and tried to find the solution. Everybody are 'perfect'. When I tried to do that, I touched a godlike image of parents, and after too many times of putting my finger into electricity, I gave up. Our family conversations are so fake, so in a fog, so indirect, so triangulated, codependent..

Sometimes I understand them, but then, there is no time left for my needs, plans... when I need to study, my concentration is lost in that fog, trying to find a way out of that codependency.

I can't get rid of this creepy feeling that someone is constantly looking at me from a 'dead angle' - whenever I look aside, I get this feeling that my mother or a father are looking at me like when an animal is preparing to jump onto its pray. Every information I give them about my life or activities, they use it covertly to put me under control - and I am 32.
And I am so tired of trying to find my own space in this tough codependency.

I'm sorry I went all over the place, the title is for sure one of ACoA traits, but I wrote it down from my perspective, as a son of an ACoA.
Please say something about this issue from your perspective or if you have an opinion to my story. Thanks!

well my question may come across as callous and unfeeling not knowing the back story............i am assuming you are living with them since they are monitoring you...........so why do you stay if you are so unhappy living in this negative environment. life is about being happy and finding happiness wherever you can. that means staying away from that which makes you unhappy and that includes dysfunctional family. if you want to be happy, you have to make that a choice and work toward it and get away from the things that drag you down.

Thanks a lot for your answer, it makes much sense to stay away from the things which keeps you down. I hoped I could avoid explaining that in order to keep the post shorter... I live in a country with high rate of corruption; in order to get a job with your school qualification you need to pay 3-5-7000 euros, so you could start your own life, but first you'll need 2-3 years to work to get back that money. Without that job, I could do a low pay job, but it wont get me out of this house.
My plan is to learn another language, get my diploma nostrificated, and leave this f... country and system (Balkans). And you can't do it overnight. During that time, I'm also trying to work on my own issues cause my father don't even recognize he needs help.
I understand that ACoAs have empathy towards one another, I guess that nobody else can understand them better than they can, but I'm talking here about one untreated ACoA whos pride, a 'head of a family', does not allow him to make step forward in his recovery. And he is taking energy from all the people around him and his kids too with his compulsive behaviors and problems (just the way an alcoholic would do). He would create problems just in order to feel attention, even it is a negative one. Somewhere was mentioned - a reaction seeker.
Sorry for being this repulsive towards my own dad, but it is too obvious that his behaviors are damaging. My sister is older than me and she buried a bigger part of anger towards him than me. She project it occasionally on me, cause she is too afraid of him.