[Whiterabbit11]

Hi, I'm new to posting but a long time lurking.

My mother is a high-functioning alcoholic (holds down a job but drinks large quantities every evening and triple that on her days off) and has been since I was a small child, I'm now early 20s. My two siblings enable her and this has progressed to the point where I just discovered her drinking at one of their houses at 10am to hide it from me.

Does anyone else have siblings that deny or enable their parents drinking?

My two siblings are much older so didn't have to live with her at her worst, never had to help her to bed, clean up her mess or miss out on a normal childhood/adolescence due to her drinking. However, they are well aware of how much she drinks, that she drinks and drives and how this has affected me and continues to dominate everything.

I'm not even sure why I'm posting other than to maybe ask about how I could approach or convince my siblings to support me. I'm currently curled in a ball crying on the floor and feeling very alone but I can't just abandon her because if I don't care then nobody will.

Thanks in advance and I'm sorry if this doesn't make a lot of sense.

[Keyslost]

Not exactly the same situation but, people in my fam didn't believe me until I had them come over when my mom was drinking. She got caught acting badly and then they believed me. It could be they don't see the negative aspects like you do. Have you told them? Even then it is enough sometimes. I've also recorded my mom to show other family members. Watch their eyes widen in surprise. So I don't think your siblings do it on purpose just that they don't see it. Feel free to try ^ this stuff out. Come talk to us when you need to

[brainhi]

You are very mature in recognizing your mother's problem. Often (in my case as too), the others see it but are in denial about it.

I often wanted my brother's support about this and it was always made into a joke - "Oh that's just how Dad is". They made it through with humor. One brother still does not really want to go back there. The other brother is coming out of denial because he became a drinker as well - and it had a bad effect on his children. I have been so sad so many times because I did not think they cared enough about me to be there for me.

I know you want their support - but start getting what you need. They may never come around - but you will learn how to handle this. "What families are suppose to be" and "what the really are" is a very hard lesson to learn.

We are here to listen - most of us here really do understand!!! I hope we can be helpful to you.

[tin58]

Hi whiterabbit11. When I lived at home I fought against my parents drinking with every fiber of my being. My brother tho just ignored it and used it to his advantage. alcohol destroys families. I Feel My Brother And I Would Have Had A Much Better Relationship Had There NOT Been Any drinking.

As for what you can do? Hmm idk. Maybe just I prove your relationship with them with out bringing up the alcoholism at first. Like do activities you enjoy togeather etc. Eventually I would think they would want to stand up for you.

In my family it was like we were all on different teams. 1 family composed of 4 teams with different agendas. No one supported one another.