[amanda83]

My mom's an alcoholic, the type who drinks at home in the evening because life is miserable. When I lived with my parents she would be watching tv semi-concious after secretely drinking vodka. My parents got divorced because of her drinking a few years after i moved out. She's still drinking, but never before she meets me or any other family, i never call her after 7 pm because she might be drunk by then if she's alone.
Because of my mother i rarely drink alone, when i do max 1 time per week it's no more than 1 unit. In my job i'm often "on call" and may have to drive, i never drink on call.
The problem is at parties, I've never seen my mom get to drunk at a party so i've never seen the bad side of drinking to much at a party, the way i've seen how you can drink to much at home. Since i'm shy i like getting drunk at parties, because it lowers my inhibitions in a good way and gets me out of my shell.
On saturday i got really drunk, i met a guy i know from work at the local pub. I had a little crush on him the first time i met him about a year ago but found out he was married with children, so i never pursued it. After closing time we went home with his friend and his friends girlfriend to their place and stayed there the 4 of us talking, listening to music and dancing. When the couple wanted to go to sleep we left and he walked me to my place. He'd been coming on to me since we left the pub which i thought was weird since he's married. He wanted to come inside, at first i said no but i was drunk and horny and forgot he was married so i let him in and went straight to the bedroom where we had sex. When we woke up the next day he felt guilty and said he had never cheated before.
At first i felt guilty because of his wife, and kids, i still do. I have feelings for him and maybe he has feelings for me to, but I don't want a marriage to end because of me if they're happy together. I don't know his wife but i've met her and she seems really nice so I hate having done this to her.
Lately I've been realising that in this case I'm just like my mother (dont think she has ever cheated). My drinking leads to other people's feelings getting hurt. I would never have slept with a married person sober. I don't want to get that drunk ever again.
Since there's a 25% chance of becoming an alcoholic when a parent is an alcoholic i've always feared it would happen to me.

[healingme4me]

((((amanda83))))

If any consolation, he also put himself in that scenario.

I think that when our parents have alcoholism or alcoholic tendencies, acoas try to avoid drinking the way parents did.

If the gene is there, it's there. I become dehydrated from alcohol that I don't really enjoy having it much more than a rare occassion. I wound up marrying an alcoholic. Both my parents had stopped drinking shortly after divorce(i was 9). My mom restarted somewhere around the time I married(i was 27). My dad has just restarted over the past year(im 40).

It's tough to answer the 25% question, but if it's creating issues, it's creating issues.

[CosmicRose]

My mom sounds just like your mom. I called her about a week ago in the evening to talk about an important topic and she was slurring her words. When my parents were married she would sit in front of the tv zoning out while drinking glass after glass of vodka or wine until she was sloppy drunk on a nightly basis. I never understood how she managed to go to work the next day completely fine.
Alcohol lowers inhibitions, while it may be good for shyness, its not good for sexual promiscuity. At the same time you're feeling more outgoing, you're also feeling less reflective of your actions. This was just as much his fault as it was yours. He's the married one, he should have went home. And I'm sure his wife must have wondered where he was all that time. Usually when married men are out partying all night without their significant other, that raises red flags in any relationship. Chances are he's having marriage problems already. But a guy will never respect a woman who knowingly sleeps with a married man, so no longer pursue him, its not worth it.

Just move on and learn from this experience and in the future limit your alcohol whenever you go out. Binge drinking at parties is more dangerous than binge drinking at home.