[Nihil]

She claims she only had three glasses of wine the night of. Last night, she went on a long, drunken rant about getting a DUI, and was overly emotional. Regardless of whether or not her "three glasses of wine" story is true, that rant didn't give me a good impression, at all, much less simply getting drunk after getting a DUI. It just demonstrates to me more that she has a problem.

[Little Lulu]

We don't know what it will take someone with a substance abuse problem to get honest with themselves and take responsibility for their issues ... for some a single DUI may do it, others may need more severe consequences. Best thing you can do is just stay out of it and let her 'own' this thing with no condemnation on your part. Deep inside, your mother knows the truth. The real issue is whether or not she is willing to admit it.

[brainhi]

In my opinion, the biggest thing to tackle is why.... in the 1st place people start to abuse alcohol. Some have been abusing so long that they probably do not care about the why.

My family was the party family. I'm sure we all had/have addictive behaviors. When life got tough we drank to take off the edge. When a diversion from reality was needed we drank. When life was great we drank to celebrate.
Back then we did not know what we know now - I grew up in the "Mad Men" era.... then thru the "hippie" time. My dad had been in trouble several times... he lost a lot of people that loved him because of alcohol. He had at least a couple DUIs. Back then it was punishment without much counseling. He died without ever getting well.

Through a lot of terrible times.. I did figure out how to take care of me and my mental health - I learned to understand who I am. It could have been very easy to turn into an alcoholic. I did get the DUI. The court ordered me to go to DUI school..... they did speak to us about the whys... they tried to help us understand what we were doing. I was forced to attended support groups. For one of the 1st times in my life - I felt understood.

It would be wonderful if your mother could learn something good through all this.

I have many friends from my younger years that are now alcoholics - I know many are in pain and they are constantly self medicating. They show the outside world everything is great. It ultimately is incredibly sad.

[(JD)]

So sorry to hear that it hasn't awakened her sense of responsibility yet. However, you could use reverse psychology since she is ranting it was "only" 3 glasses of wine...telling her that now she knows that even 3 glasses of wine is too much for her if she plans on driving!