[Desoxyn]

She took her heart medication but I feel like that's not enough and she's going to go into heart arrythmias.

My sister is being mean to her and now my mom is crying. My sister says it's my mom's fault for having a bad knee because she went skiing anyways when the doctor told her not to. I said skiing is fun but then my sister said that then she can't go skiing in the future because she messed up her knee even worse.. fair enough.

My mom says "My daughter hates me". It's my mom's fault for getting drunk so I can't help her and feel sorry for her and her bad life decisions that she's lonely and doesn't have a man because her children aren't enough for her. She put "Her man" first before her children.

My sister is very smart. I don't know how she thinks the way she does but it's not the way that I think. My sister is very responsible and I'm not. My mom isn't responsible when she's drunk. She still takes her heart medication after she goes skiing and says "If I die, I died on the ski hill happy" like wtf? I don't understand this life..

My mom wanted her CBD oil that she brought in the door and I took it back to the car and went with my sister to get tissues. She was calling me to bring it back. I came in the door and she said "Did I bring my CBD oil back?" and I said no.. She didn't even remember that I put it in the car.. I said that it would make her heart beat fast but she doesn't care.

This is really sad and my mom is like a happy severely depressed inside person and it doesn't make sense to me.

Edit: She went to bed and my sister and I gave her hugs and she was still crying saying she has a heart condition and her boss doesn't care and the doctors don't care because she's non-compliant and one day she's going to die and she wants to plan a holiday now but she can't.

I asked my mom is she going to be ok in her sleep because she drank another glass of wine, took an ativan and then started drinking the wine again so I poured the wine down the drain. She said she'll be fine.

[Desoxyn]

She's going to go skiing with my sister in the morning. I'm going to study tonight and then go to class in the morning.

I feel like this is my fault but really some things are her fault for allowing my sociopathic narcissistic abusive step dad to be in my life. I allowed everything to happen. I did so many drugs to try and make myself stupid and unaware of my own life, throwing it away, getting hospitalized like 15 times. My mom had to deal with that too and I'm sorry for that but she needs to stop drinking and she's going to drink again.

She says she doesn't want to drink and she'll stop but she drinks a bottle of wine every night or more.

She WONT admit that she has a problem so I can't get her professional help. When she's sober, she has it all together like no one else. She's a completely different person when she's drunk just like my alcoholic real dad that I love very much but he's going to die soon and doesn't care if he dies soon.

[sarahsweets]

Help and Hope for Families and Friends of Alcoholics
You cant help your mother stop drinking and you are not responsible for her happiness. None of it is your fault.

[Desoxyn]

She has a heart condition though. It's not like she's going to die in 20 years of liver failure. She could die right now.

Today was another party. This woman (Friend of my moms) was severely slurring her words and my mom said "You're taking the same drugs I'm taking" I hope she wasn't taking benzos while being piss drunk but w/e my mom is drunk too and had the hiccups so she drank water up side down and I thought.. yep.. this is the end she will pass out and die cuz her heart condition and my mom has been saying she was having heart palpitations and the other woman is an alcoholic idk why my mom gave her more wine. My mom was worried that she was hallucinating.

They were talking about how this guy loves my mom and he has a wife and my mom and her drunk friend kept talking about everything in secret except they were shouting. I'm sick of this ********. My mom is supposed to go to the US this year to meet some guy on the internet.

This has turned into the most ridiculous ****ing thing ever. My mom said she needs to go to the hospital and I had to talk her into not having another glass of wine. Now she says she's going to sleep and doesn't need to go to the hospital. I knew this would happen.

She's probably going to take ativan but w/e I don't know how to handle this and my sister isn't helping me she's with her bf.I've had to deal with this **** all my teenage life. My brother left and I still have to deal with it.

My sister is crying because the cats went outside but I think it's because she doesn't know how to deal with what has happened.

My mom snuck a bottle of wine into her room and I had to take it away from her again. It's like she expected me to do that because she says to my sister that I have taken care of it. It's like she wants me to feel guilty if she dies because she has taken care of me by bringing me to the hospital 15 times and taking away my drugs multiple times. If I knew how hard it was for her to that based on what I'm doing now, I would have quit using multiple drugs (like 20 at the same time) earlier.

So now she's going to bed and she better wake up the next morning..

[Desoxyn]

I'm not going skiing with them in the morning. When my mom wakes me up, I'm going to say "What you did last night was ****ed up and it's going to happen again and you'll be drunk on the ski hill again like last time".

Her friend has bipolar and I said I was depressed today (Probably because I knew this was going to happen again) and she said to talk to her so she did. All she did was talk about herself and say I'm hot and will make a girl happy some day. How ****ing shallow is that? Idk if she has a good heart or whatever since she says that guy (that is in "love" with my mom) and his wife and son are her family because her parents disowned her for being "A drunk" so idk.. I have mixed feelings about this but I know she's a bad influence on my mom so I'm going to protect my mom and not talk to her anymore.

I'm not going to tell my mom that I'm not going skiing in the morning right now because then she'll be awake all night and have heart palpitations.

[Desoxyn]

And her friend said that she was going home right after my mom said she was going to bed right after she said she was going to the hospital. What a complete ****ing *.

[Desoxyn]

I was overreacting with these people. They are ok. Just my mom needs to not drink so much.

[Rayadientes]

Probably she needs to go to a desintoxication clinic, and remove this alcoholism,

[Desoxyn]

My mom injured herself and took a tramadol this morning and now she's drunk and took her heart med while I was sitting with them all.

I told her not to drink that last glass of wine even though she was drunk and wanted to go to bed (She said that before the last glass of wine). I told her she could die and I don't have the mental energy to take the glass of wine in front of everyone but maybe she will be ok because she says she's fine so idk

I went to tell my sister and she's sitting with her bf and doesn't really care from what it seems.

She says "I go to work while you're sleeping and i have to look after everyone". I should have said that if she dies, I'll be in a group home smoking meth and crack.

I'm going to steal her tramadol and use it for myself because I've had enough of this bs

[Desoxyn]

My mom drank too much again. She probably needs to go to the hospital but is in denial.

I'm just going to have to prepare for her death. There's nothing I can do.

[bizi]

I am so sorry that you are going thru this living nite mere.

Any way you can leave?
Do you have any friends you could go stay with?

how old are you?
bizi

[Desoxyn]

She's ok for now. I have no friends to move in with. I'm 22. I'm stuck with her cuz I'm on disability for schizophrenia.

[cutiepri]

Im So sorry you feel this way. I think its important for you to find a safe place to clear your thoughts

[Desoxyn]

She's drunk again. I specifically told her to not drink too much that I have to take care of her.

I closed my door and now I'm in my room. I can't go anywhere else in the house because of her toxicity.

[Desoxyn]

My moms new bf used her. He's not texting her back. I told her that he was using her and he's an asshole/sociopath but she didn't listen. So she got drunk and a new guy came over and she's just self sabotaging herself.

I facetimed my dad and told him about all of this and that it's not good for my mental health to be dealing with this - I'm trying to focus on my life but can't focus when I can't even leave my room.

I'm talking to my therapist on the phone tomorrow and I'm going to tell her about me moving out somewhere - But yeah... My mom has control over me.

I feel like a teenager - Still dealing with the bs that went on years ago. My mental health is not good. I've been trying to keep it together and if I lose it, go a little psychotic.. I'm back to the psych ward because it's not normal for me to everyone else.

I inquired to order the metabolite of tramadol make it like old times right? Be zoned out from the trauma and not have to deal with it. But I'm going to try and not do that and figure out a new solution.

My mom is going to try and sleep. I can't imagine how upset she is. I'm afraid she will die if she keeps this up.

She's going to the doctor in the morning so they can cut deeper into her skin to get rid of the skin cancer.

My mom called me from her room so I came over and she wanted my sister to come home. She told me to call her in front of her so I did and my sister said that she's not coming home and for my mom to go to bed.

I told my mom to go to bed and said "I love you - goodnight" and then she said she needed her water refilled so I came back into her room and then she said "Where is - (My sister)".

I straight up told her "Stop pretending" and "I'm not doing this bs anymore. You know exactly what you're doing. You're sick. You need to stop manipulating me".

She admitted to it and now feels like crap - So probably will ask for attention again. I'm not good at expressing emotions and she knows it so she manipulates me.

I told her that I'm speaking with my therapist in the morning so I can move out because I can't focus when she drinks all the time. The thing is, I know that people try to get away with things and blame it on the alcohol. I've been drunk and on many many mind altering substances and I still have it all together most times.

I told her that she's doing it for attention and she admitted it - Because I'm starting to realize that she has been manipulating me and my mental illness this whole time.

[Marilyn2016]

Deso,

You DO know that none of her alcoholism is your responsibility.....right?
I mean we can all attempt to help those around us, but you can't force anyone to grab the life vest while drowning in the water.
Sometimes, you gotta just take care of yourself, and that's all that's possible.
I'm so sorry you have to live through this, especially with all the progress you've made on your own.
I don't know what the answer is, I just know that this **** is NOT your fault.
Just sayin....

[Misssy2]

Wow these posts are old..I hope your Mom never died from her drinking and I wanted you to know everytime you said "heart palpitations" all I could think of was that your Mom is dehydrated from all the drinking....

You can not control what is going to happen to your Mom....I think you mentioned you had "studies"...I think you have to keep yourself really busy in your studies...and do not cater to your Mom and your Moms needs....Your Mom is a big girl and she needs to learn how to take care of herself...No need to empty out the wine...she will just buy more...you can't see it but looking from the outside...all of the effort you have put toward helping your Mom and she is still doing the same things. Let her figure out a way to get her life back together...and if she dies? Than it was a choice of hers to continue to live in poor health and there really is nothing you can do and I'm sorry.

I'm an alcoholic....my son worries about me too....but ultimately it is MY LIFE....I am chosing when I pick up a drink and I know what could potentially happen to me. I also take Ativan....but I try not to take it when I am drinking....I sometimes do take it by accident or when I don't care....these are all my decisions....and my son finding me dead is the last thing I want to happen...Just like your Mom doesn't want you to find her dead...So I hope she takes care of herself as I try to...at least a ENOUGH to stay alive for your girls....if she doesn't want to take care of herself you can't change it.

But you can change you and what you focus on....Of course it is HARD not to focus on worrying about if your Mom dies....But maybe if you get a little tougher on her...don't help her get food or booze...or cigs if she smokes...let her fend for herself...when she realizes she can't fend for herself very well....She will possibly STOP ENOUGH to get the things she needs...and the more she is on her own...probably the more she will have to be sober to get stuff done for herself...

I don't think if my kids didn't turn their backs on me years ago...that I would still be alive today....when you cater to someone you help them stay in their sickness.

[Desoxyn]

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer two or so months ago. She's still drinking but not as much. She's taking things more seriously now.

[Desoxyn]

Few weeks ago she came home drunk and was bothering my sister while she was studying and my sister had to take care of her.

Now she's drinking again and making a bunch of drama. I hate her when she's drinking.

**** alcohol. It's the most boring glorified shallow drug in existence. Why can't people do better drugs? My mom should do ketamine. I like ketamine.

Or any other psychedelic. But they're illegal because the illuminati wants people to have family problems with alcohol and **** people up and make them do stupid things, go to work and then when they're off work, numb themselves with this stupid drug and then talk about the stupid things that they don't remember in the morning.

[Desoxyn]

The crypto investor that was worse than what the soldiers said made me feel bad about taking care of my mom when I told him about her cancer.

Things slipped my mind that hurt her feelings. She says she doesn't forgive herself for neglecting her children and I said I forgive her.

But last night she got drunk chatted up a man that seemed nice and was microdosing shrooms. She met him at a restaurant and put him on the phone with me. He said "I'm on the right path, etc" then she brought him home and I was talking with him. Then she was making out with him.

All these women were drunk and talking to me and each other. I was anxious. I told the guy I was anxious and he said that he didn't give that vibe from me but my pupils were big (Maybe the Vyvanse? idk) but it all made me uncomfortable like I was having a mental psychedelic flashback.

My mom is really messed up from her cancer and life. She's sleeping now and I think might have missed her appointment to knowing what is wrong with her second lump. She dumped the wine into her glass last night in front of me and I should have smashed the glass and bottle off the table. But I just let it happen. There's no controlling an alcoholic.

I told my sister that it was like a bad trip. She told me to stop comparing life to a bad trip.

She took the wine with a tramadol and then started crying saying she's a bad mother. My sister and I brought her to bed and she kept switching between needing water, needing to puke and needing to sleep. It was exhausting but I did my part. She kept saying "Don't leave me" maybe 100 times so I stayed with her while she slept so she didn't puke in her sleep or have heart arrythmias.

It's really hard. Life is really hard. I don't know what to do anymore. People keep saying I need to find a passion (One thing). That's really disturbing to me. I don't like being told what to do.

I feel like just staring at the wall. This morning I was staring out the window watching cars go by. I said, "If a car goes right, everything will be ok. If it goes left, it wont" (I always do things like this). But for the first time I just said, "If a car comes any way, things will be ok". Then a car came and went to the right.

Probability, change, supernatural realm of whatever metaphysical life I'm in - I don't know. I'm just depressed and scared and feel like a horrible person.