kala83

I think I have known that my father had acholic issues since I was little but actually admitting to myself and to others that this was the cause has taken me this long.

there was a lot of abuse from my father that was verbal, and physical that I'm still dealing with and coping with to this day.

I won't say that my father and his abuse was the main cause of PTSD but it was the beginning of my trauma and since then I've had a whole mess of trauma happen to me.

To the point of having CPTSD, its difficult for me to admit and realize that he does have this issue. But it actually makes sense because, I have memories of when I was in high school of him.

Attending my choir, concerts and almost ALWAYS when I saw him afterwards and gave him a hug. I would smell beer on his breath.

Because of the fact my father, is such a toxic person in my life, and continued to be so. I have thus since, cut off contact with.

it saddens me, but I also know that not having that in my life is probably the best thing for me.

__________________
Dx:OCD, AD/HD-C and ADD kinda both, General Anxiety Disorder, Separation Anxiety Disorder,Abandonment Anxiety, Cycothymic disorder, or mixed bipolar, Border Line Personality Disorder,Histonic Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality disorder, eating disorder
]Rx:Lamotrigine 25mg twice a day for my mood stablizer as well as I am on Escitalopram 10mg 1 daily, Buspirone 3 times daily 10mgs
VT Student, CNA student, working HHA
for my father I think of you everyday

Yaowen

Dear kala83,

I think your thoughts and feelings are totally understandable given that situation. Wish I knew what else to say but it is hard to put my ideas into English. I do want to wish you the very best!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

MickeyCheeky

So Sorry for what you've been through! i Hope you will be able to rebuild your relationship with your father in future. We need to focus on ourselves too if we want to be Healthy. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @kala83, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

RoxanneToto

It’s sad, but I think you’re right in that you need to cut down, or even cut off contact in order to let yourself start healing. Maybe not forever, but I think that depends on your relationship, the progress you make and how you think you want to proceed in the future.