[claire-marie]

For several years I've been struggling with my weight/size. I have had times when I don't eat a lot (for an extended time) for the purpose of losing weight, but I don't think I would call myself anorexic because there are also times when I eat like there is no tomorrow, or I eat healthy amounts.

What I am wondering is: Where is the line? So many people these days are dieting and say how they have to lose weight and that is fine to society. But then others who diet to lose weight are classified as anorexic. Where is the line? Why is it okay for some people and not for others?

One of my friends was recently hospitalized for anorexia. She started out somewhat overweight and began dieting to lose weight. People would congratulate her for the weight she lost and say how good she looked. But then those comments started turning into things like "You've lost A LOT of weight..." or "You're getting REALLY thin..." in a negative way. Where is that line that makes it okay for some people to lose weight and not others? I don't understand.

[Miswimmy1]

thats a good question. i guess losing weight in a healthy way would mean that you are losing it by eating healthy, exercising a reasonable amount, etc. you are not all consumed with dieting. you have some plan for how you are going to go about losing the weight, and a plan for how you are going to keep it off once you get there.

eating disorders would be if you are losing weight either not eating, or by vomitting or taking laxatives; if you are overexercising; if everything you do is related to food. when it begins to have that much effect on everyday life, that isn't healthy. also, if you keep losing weight past a point where you originally thought was going to be the target weight, then that isn't good either.

and then obviously, to determine what qualifies as a healthy weight, then you have to take into acciount the persons height, weight, build, amount of exercising, metabolism, etc.

[claire-marie]

So then it really depends on the attitude of the person? If they are eating less but eating healthy amounts vs. if they are eating unhealthy amounts, etc? And when it starts to affect everyday life? Not necessarily depending on how much you weight/lose, but more on how you lose it?

[Miswimmy1]

Yeah, that's what I think. It's the reason why u are losing it, and how u are losing it.

[Redsoft]

In my experience, abstaining from food feels like an addiction. I start to enjoy the feeling of my stomach eating itself away, get a high from the self-control I'm exhibiting. If thinking about anorexia as a type of addiction for myself (I am sure that it is different for everyone though), the definition of an addiction is having a dependency on whatever is that addiction is for. Not being able to get through certain days, for example, without feeling you have abstained from eating is probably a red flag.

I think a lot of people "get away with" the dieting and fasting trend to lose weight because there is such a lack of education on the subject of real nutrition. For example, I know people that have done the paleo diet and make it an excuse to just eat bacon multiple times a day and gorge themselves on fruits. Too much of anything is simply too much, and too much of abstaining is no exception.

I think, often, when people say things like, "You are getting toooo thin," and such, even when the weight loss is done by association (not even on purpose) of eating well and staying active, people are either not used to seeing the person that way (humans aren't really the greatest about change a lot of times), or they are envious. I know that is a kind of a classic form of justification people use - "They're just jealous!" - but in a society where being thin is favored over being healthy (speaking for the US here), what's to be expected?

Even before I had problems with anorexia (I'm one of those that did not start for weight-loss intentions), I was told I ate like a bird and people were always trying to shove food down my throat. I think sometimes it is just people projecting what they want, or trying to justify their eating a piece of cake because it's more doable if someone is doing it with them! Haha. I definitely relate to that-!

I guess in summary, the line, I feel, is when one becomes dependent on fasting or dieting or abstaining, etc... when the quality of life is lessened because of the mental association rather than just the nutritional aspect. Unfortunately, I think a lot of people don't realize they are crossing the line, though of course people pull out of it. A lot of these diet crazes people go on are just phases or half-baked ideas I think, and they end up rubberbanding. Dieting is pointless! Lifestyle changes are necessary to really be healthy, and from that, the natural loss of weight, and to not just later go back to the same weight once you ultimately quit the diet.

[claire-marie]

Wow. I hadn't thought of it in that way, but it's so true. It is an addiction. Thank you for responding - I really appreciate it and it left me a lot to think about. I really think the idea of jealousy is interesting and common. I've definitely noticed people around me putting other people down just so they could feel better about themselves.