[dementedbeauty]

No one knows I starve myself, no one knows that I purged 1 slice of pizza this evening. No one knows I have been working my *** off in aerobics not because of a grade, but to lose calories I haven't even digested. I'm not what everyone sees on the surface. I never tell anyone. This is the life I have been given.
I live a life of secrecy.

[Skeezyks]

Hello dementedbeauty: I have held many secrets over the course of many years. If I don't have some secrets tucked in my hip pocket, I feel sort-of like something's missing. I still have my secrets & have no intention of divulging any of them to anyone. There is a song by The Weepies that I take sort-of as a theme song: "Nobody Knows Me at All". It's true... nobody does.

On the other hand, there is one big secret I did divulge. I thought it was a bombshell. But when I set it off... nothing happened... nothing... except that now the tiny number of people know me (I'm pretty-much reclusive) know my big secret. And I, for my part, know that they know. As a result, I feel exposed & foolish.

So I'm not going to encourage you to divulge your secret. But I can tell you, based on many years of experience that carrying around secrets is wearing. They get heavier & heavier the longer you drag them around. I send you warm wishes to buoy you as you struggle to manage your secret.

[HonestlyLying]

Being stuck with an eating disorder is like being a spy. Everything is a secret to yourself. I think about this often. How no one knows that I'm starving myself. I do all this incredibly hard work to lose weight and it's all for nothing if I don't tell someone for acknowledgment.. BUT if I tell someone I have to defend my disease so I won't be re-fed.

[eskielover]

It's a secret until you die from it then everyone knows but you aren't around to feel foolish then....just those left behind to wonder why????

It's not the life you have been given....it's the CHOICE you have made. The body is made to eat normally...we are the ones who choose to abuse our own bodies.....no one forces us & our bodies definitely don't want us to do it to them. Broken mind needs to be reprogrammed to think & give the body what it needs to keep it at a healthy weight without all the eating foolishness. Our bodies WANT to be healthy. That's when they function & feel good. Everything else is the mind playing tricks