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broadwaylove
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Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: Unites States
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Default Jul 20, 2020 at 07:48 AM
  #1
TW: VODKA, FEELING ALONE AND RELAPSE

I've never posted on this forum but I'm drunk on vodka and have a meeting with a psychologist tomorrow regarding my anorexia. She thinks it's connected to my sexually abusive father and that it's him telling me to make myself smaller but I find it as a way of controlling my body for once in my life and break free from his control. I'm restricting and eating one meal a day. I don't know if i want to tell my treatment team that I've relapsed: I was 3 months inpatient last year because of my anorexia.. please someone say anything about my post: what you think, how it makes you feel, if you relate, advice you would give.. ANYTHING! Even a ****in joke about how ****** it is to have a ****ing eating disorder. All memes are welcome here! I just want some comments I can read however relevant they are, please I feel so alone. I love you all and thank you for this website in a weird ****ed up way l, I don't feel so alone.. Anyways here's a meme to start the ball rolling (putting out the fire e.g. anorexia without treating the root cause e.g. PTSD)I need a response/support please
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Raindropvampire
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Raindropvampire tired of being tired
 
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Default Jul 21, 2020 at 01:49 AM
  #2
Well I don't have anything of value to add but saw you hadn't received any responses.

I need a response/support please

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I think I need help 'cause I'm drowning in myself. It's sinking in, I can't pretend that I ain't been through hell. I think I need help---Papa Roach
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nikon
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Default Jul 21, 2020 at 04:17 AM
  #3
I'm sorry you feel so alone I think when things are bad we do feel alone, and even someone saying "you're not alone" doesn't really make a difference. My ED was definitely about control too. It sounds like your restricting is linked to your abusive father. When I feel anxious and as though everything is threatening, I want to act out because it feels like a security blanket. How is your day going?
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