[Sylar]

If you have read any of the posts I have made tonight it is probably obvious that I am extremely angry. I came on here, instead of taking it out on anyone.

So here is why I came on here:

I, who am supposed to be so horrible and evil and just a disgusting waist of space, as most stereotypes would have you believe, do not spank my children. I dont agree with it, because I was spanked and it made my problems worse. Im also afraid if they have any possibility of inheriting ASPD from me than i would rather not take a chance. Also with having anger issues, I dont think its a wise decision. So anyway, I was at my parents house with my sister and her family, who do spank and for the dumbest reasons. Ok your kid colors on the wall, that really negates being hit? Really? So my 2 year old, who is normally well behaved bit my sister. My sister says "If you bite me again i will bite you back" My response was " If you lay a hand on my child, I will knock your teeth down your throat." So I get yelled at by my parents and I end up taking my kids and leaving, pretty much standard holiday family get togethers, but the thing that makes me so angry is that they constantly bring up every violent or horrible thing I have ever done, which I havent done anything too terrible, but I have had anger issues in the past and I have worked very hard to get it under control. I dont want to end up in jail, or dead so I have worked really hard to become as laid back as my husband, who kind of just melts into the couch he is so freakin mellow!! Anyway, they bring all of this up, but they think its horrible that I dont want to hit my kids. Does this make sense? So I come on here after looking up different things about psychology and anger control and I find this message board full of people, you guessed it, talking about how horrible people with ASPD are. I seriously cant catch a break!! Im usually very plesent and very funny, but no one on here would know that because Im so freakin angry right now. I let my daughter open a few presents early. Its weird, The most I ever felt for anyone was my husband and it is what I would think people feel for a really close friend, but when I had my kids. There just isnt anything I wouldnt do to protect them. I never thought I could feel that way. So to be called horrible and evil and that I was born wrong, is just really, well there really is no word for the amount of anger that makes me feel!!!

[Omers]

While I have, on occasion turned to spanking it is not my thing either. I think you have made a very wise choice to not use physical punishment. The biggest lesson I have learned about being a parent is that raising the kids is not the hard part, dealling with everyone who thinks they know how to raise your child better than you is.
I am really, really sorry you had such a sucky night. You are welcome to PM me if other options are not feeling safe.

[phoenix7]

Originally Posted by Sylar

If you have read any of the posts I have made tonight it is probably obvious that I am extremely angry. I came on here, instead of taking it out on anyone.

HI Sylar, thats great that you did that - i too come here mainly to the PTSD board when i get angry and let it out there rather than do damage (verbal in my case ) to others


So here is why I came on here:

I, who am supposed to be so horrible and evil and just a disgusting waist of space, as most stereotypes would have you believe,

i dont hold that view - just so you know

do not spank my children. I dont agree with it, because I was spanked and it made my problems worse. Im also afraid if they have any possibility of inheriting ASPD from me than i would rather not take a chance. Also with having anger issues, I dont think its a wise decision.

I agree that laying your hands on a child is not necessary and i have never laid hands on any of my sisters and brothers children whio i have loooked after since they were babies - there are other ways to teach apart form violence and i dont think they learn anything other than it hurts

So anyway, I was at my parents house with my sister and her family, who do spank and for the dumbest reasons. Ok your kid colors on the wall, that really negates being hit? Really? So my 2 year old, who is normally well behaved bit my sister. My sister says "If you bite me again i will bite you back" My response was " If you lay a hand on my child, I will knock your teeth down your throat."

why is it that people - even family feel they can put their own discipline rules on children that are not theirs - perhaps your response was a little over the top verbally? I say this looking from the outside in - but i fully understand the protective response behind it

So I get yelled at by my parents and I end up taking my kids and leaving, pretty much standard holiday family get togethers, but the thing that makes me so angry is that they constantly bring up every violent or horrible thing I have ever done, which I havent done anything too terrible, but I have had anger issues in the past and I have worked very hard to get it under control.

that must be really really really annoying - this may sound dumb but have you sat down wiht them and told them how much it upsets you?

I dont want to end up in jail, or dead so I have worked really hard to become as laid back as my husband, who kind of just melts into the couch he is so freakin mellow!! Anyway, they bring all of this up, but they think its horrible that I dont want to hit my kids. Does this make sense?

no it doesn't make any sense- you'd think they would be glad you didn't want to use violence

So I come on here after looking up different things about psychology and anger control and I find this message board full of people, you guessed it, talking about how horrible people with ASPD are. I seriously cant catch a break!!

im sorry that you came here for support and didn't get any - please remember there is also a support chat room - although sometimes there is no-one around

Im usually very plesent and very funny, but no one on here would know that because Im so freakin angry right now. I let my daughter open a few presents early. Its weird, The most I ever felt for anyone was my husband and it is what I would think people feel for a really close friend, but when I had my kids. There just isnt anything I wouldnt do to protect them. I never thought I could feel that way.

i feel the same about my family -but for me thats all my family - even the ones i don't like lol- i am very protective of them

So to be called horrible and evil and that I was born wrong, is just really, well there really is no word for the amount of anger that makes me feel!!!

I think those are generalisations - I get the same with BPD - all people with BPD are out of control crazies - emotionally unstable and almost stalker material - well some are - most are not - these are generalisations and i try to ignore them or at least not take them personally- ASPD/BPD?Bi-polar disorder - there are some really severe ones out there - i have known at least 2 who were not in control - I have known many more who were trying extremely hard to stay in control

the difficulty is that as with any disorder - you will find people who come here for support or information/advice on how to deal with a person with that disorder or who they think has that disorder - and yes that as i said somewhere else -this is probably not the right forum for that - and me ? i guess i came here because i saw a post Myers had made and stayed to learn more

I hope you find this a more supportive place in the future

P7

[Omers]

OK, I just hang here because I truly like the people here. Hope you don't mind. I find the people in this forum to be friendly, have a lot of personal insight, intelligent... So many reasons why I like to come visit. I also enjoy the friendly banter when it stays away from attacking people or minimizing an individuals potential with generalizations.

[phoenix7]