At certain times in my life I fall into these little moods. I don't know quite what triggers them or how to lessen their frequency. But they result in me being painfully bored with anything and everything that doesn't place my life in immediate danger or allow me to experience that danger vicariously. After exercising self-control for however long these moods last, I start to become very irritable. A fightin' mood, if you will. Most daily hobbies and "fun times" in which most normal people regularly participate to relieve stress or boredom I find to be quite dull. Even the drink. Especially the drink. I always see the "angles", and I'm always thinking of doing something immoral. It's my nature. I can quite easily refrain most of the time. But when in these moods, it becomes increasingly difficult.

Last night, I was persuaded to go to a drinking trough for inebriated morons with a few of my co-workers. I had a few drinks. They didn't help. I felt no compulsion whatsoever to continue drinking. The music was too loud to actually hear anyone. And drunk people don't make good conversation. So I just sat there, bored. All I could think about was pick-pocketing the many inebriated morons. One fellow in particular, who kept hitting on one of my acquaintances, had his wallet sticking out of the right back pocket of his jeans. I spent most of the night thinking of ways to get the wallet. I never actually tried, but it took great self-control to refrain.

In these moods, I not only feel bored, but restless and aggravated. I have this feeling of being "confined" in the situation, and it bothers me to no end. Most of my more rash and antisocial behaviour is a result of trying to alleviate the dreadful boredom. When I have the opportunity, which isn't often, I'll usually find some activity that both alleviates my boredom and is legal. But this is no easy endeavour, especially when I'm stuck in a situation for work purposes or whatever else or there are no sky-diving locations in the immediate area.

Has anyone else had a similar experience? If so, how does one control these urges when stuck in a situation?

[lynn P.]

I'm not an expert, but it makes sense if you engage in a risky act.....this would produce a 'dopamine' and adrenaline reaction, which stimulates your brain. Maybe engaging in a daring hobby like rock/wall climbing or something else that's risky would help.

Originally Posted by lynn P.

I'm not an expert, but it makes sense if you engage in a risky act.....this would produce a 'dopamine' and adrenaline reaction, which stimulates your brain. Maybe engaging in a daring hobby like rock/wall climbing or something else that's risky would help.

It most definitely helps when I can get to my daring hobbies. But when the option isn't available, I have trouble. My career is interesting to me for the most part. And my friends and I keep each other entertained. But there are still some situations in which I can't just get up and leave, or at least not without consequences. I suppose it just takes self-control, but it can be difficult. Or maybe if I was more content with my own life, these moods would happen less often...

[-jimi-]

Probably one of the unpleasantries about APD. I can't imagine it. When I open my eyes, the world is full of interesting things. I have a hard time weeding out what I want to spend my limited energy on. Not that I'd find a drinking party interesting, but I would find other things. When I'm really bored it is one of two things; I have to something I don't like doing, or, I'm too tired to do anything interesting.

Having to go skydiving or something just to feel something is so foreign to me. I could just go to the library and that would be fun. Or go look at the night sky. Or to go plane spotting. Not I would diss the skydiving if I could afford it... it looks fun too.

I'm glad I can feel being alive. Thanx for reminding me.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by Michael the Great

It most definitely helps when I can get to my daring hobbies. But when the option isn't available, I have trouble. My career is interesting to me for the most part. And my friends and I keep each other entertained. But there are still some situations in which I can't just get up and leave, or at least not without consequences. I suppose it just takes self-control, but it can be difficult. Or maybe if I was more content with my own life, these moods would happen less often...

something about your messages strikes me as not quite right. I think you're bsing yourself and others, actually

Originally Posted by jimitherat

Probably one of the unpleasantries about APD. I can't imagine it. When I open my eyes, the world is full of interesting things. I have a hard time weeding out what I want to spend my limited energy on. Not that I'd find a drinking party interesting, but I would find other things. When I'm really bored it is one of two things; I have to something I don't like doing, or, I'm too tired to do anything interesting.

Having to go skydiving or something just to feel something is so foreign to me. I could just go to the library and that would be fun. Or go look at the night sky. Or to go plane spotting. Not I would diss the skydiving if I could afford it... it looks fun too.

I'm glad I can feel being alive. Thanx for reminding me.

Odd. When I look upon the most magnificent places in the world, places by which most people are held in awe, I feel nothing. I can respect the efforts of the people who built whatever building or monument. I can think it looks very neat. I can understand, on some degree, why others find it so magnificent. But I don't actually feel anything.

You're right. Skydiving, as well as many other activities of the death-defying nature, can be quite pricey. Even owning a sportbike is pricey when one considers insurance and inevitable speeding tickets/bribes. But one finds other hobbies that can cause an adrenaline rush. Little things. Like dodging traffic when that teasing orange hand is insisting that you stay put...

Originally Posted by mcl6136

something about your messages strikes me as not quite right. I think you're bsing yourself and others, actually

The recognized definition of "bsing" is... to talk nonsense in order to deceive. To deceive another is a conscious and willing effort. That being said, if I had, in fact, successfully deceived myself, I wouldn't be able to consciously and knowingly deceive others because I, so deceived by myself, believed my words to be the truth to the best of my knowledge.

So, which is it? Am I deceive myself or others? And what proof do you have of this "bsery"?

[Perna]

I can see focusing on the pick pocketing would be a bit easier than just sitting there, slightly drunk and bored?

If I don't like a mood (and I hate being bored) I use my creativity and imagination to stir something up. Having to depend on an "outside" setup (Tom Cruise rappelling:

) is not my style.

I sort of like the show "How I Met Your Mother" and the character of Barney Stinson? No, most drunks are not good conversationalists but go find a stranger and ask an outrageous question? See how many people in the bar you can get to give you a dollar?

[lynn P.]

I think it would've been entertaining to take their keys and see how they fumble at the end of the evening lol.....they shouldn't be driving anyway, so you'd be doing then a favor.

[Ygrec23]

Each of us is, like it or not, a separate individual who will never know what other individuals are really feeling or thinking. And that almost necessarily has to give rise to assumptions or beliefs that in the end are false. Realizing their falsity can have all kinds of interesting consequences if one follows out the line of thought.

You, Michael, are a decent guy fighting, like all of us, your own internal demons. But to be stuck with business pals in an overloud bar with guys intent on getting drunk is something a whole lot of people would find excruciatingly boring. I would. The easy answer is: just to leave. With whatever excuse. You yourself, with your own self-described problems, certainly can have no more "social" inhibitions about leaving than I do.

So. Why do I even make this remark? Because I think, even with your problems, you're an okay guy, but you may well (with your own individuality) be fooling yourself in just quite how much you differ from others in particular situations. Yeah, I go sky-diving; yeah, I go mountain biking. And they're great things to do! But I'm in no way anti-social or psychopathic.

There's got to be a significant amount of overlap between people of different types and characters. To the extent of not really being able to generalize all that terribly much about "this" kind of person or "that" kind of person. Like it or not, very few of us (perhaps none) fall into these little DSM cubbyholes or any other kind of cubbyholes. That's one of the things that really does make human life interesting, provided always that you've worked on and found a way to coax people out of their self-protective little holes and find out who they really are. That's the tough part.

Maybe you're more normal than you think. Think it over!

Originally Posted by Michael the Great

In these moods, I not only feel bored, but restless and aggravated. I have this feeling of being "confined" in the situation, and it bothers me to no end. Most of my more rash and antisocial behaviour is a result of trying to alleviate the dreadful boredom. When I have the opportunity, which isn't often, I'll usually find some activity that both alleviates my boredom and is legal. But this is no easy endeavour, especially when I'm stuck in a situation for work purposes or whatever else or there are no sky-diving locations in the immediate area. Has anyone else had a similar experience? If so, how does one control these urges when stuck in a situation?

[Oxidopamine]

Originally Posted by Michael the Great

It most definitely helps when I can get to my daring hobbies. But when the option isn't available, I have trouble. My career is interesting to me for the most part. And my friends and I keep each other entertained. But there are still some situations in which I can't just get up and leave, or at least not without consequences. I suppose it just takes self-control, but it can be difficult. Or maybe if I was more content with my own life, these moods would happen less often...

I'm going to be the buzz kill of the party by saying it wouldn't matter whether you hated your life or were very content with your life, these feelings would still happen. If you are extremely content with your life, you may be unwilling to explore new things because you're a bug in a rug, nice and comfortable. I'm quite certain I would become pretty bored of the same things even if I like them.

On the other hand, you could be very discontent with your life. If I were in this situation, I would try numerous avenues to see what alleviates the boredom. I suppose you could argue this would be more interesting than being very content with your life since you would be seeking different things, however, they would be explored through a pessimistic view. In other words, you would be like a plane that cant fly at a high altitude for even a short period of time.

Perhaps I'm over-thinking this but either situation is embedded in a conundrum, which I'm quite interested why you put yourself in it. The issue is being content or discontent requires an act of liking what you have at a salient emotional level. You're more of a logical individual so I'm sure you can see where this is going - in order to be content, you imply "normal" emotional functioning. I say "normal" not in terms of the DSM or ICD-10, instead, through conventional definitions. A more objective view of content, at least in my mind, is wealth because numbers don't lie and are not open to interpretation. So, what I'm trying to say in a fairly convoluted manner is in your view, how do you define being content and is it feasible for you to fulfill it?

If I'm bored and with my buddies, we sometimes spar or fence each other. I don't tend to go to bars as I simply don't care for the atmosphere but when it's boring and company is drunk as a skunk, I wander off to other people who seem more entertaining or simply leave. I don't spar or fight other people unless I feel that I have to, such as if they attack me. Pick-pocketing could be interesting, although I designed my wallet to be fairly resistant to wandering hands, so I would be a hypocrite.

Originally Posted by Perna

If I don't like a mood (and I hate being bored) I use my creativity and imagination to stir something up. Having to depend on an "outside" setup (Tom Cruise rappelling:

) is not my style.

Stirring the pot can be rather amusing...

No, most drunks are not good conversationalists but go find a stranger and ask an outrageous question? See how many people in the bar you can get to give you a dollar?

I've tried that. Very few people will even respond. Most just shake their head and say "No, thanks" as if I was trying to sell them something and then pretend to have a phone call. Unless it's New York... And everyone gives me a dollar. Or more. Except my friends. They know better.

Originally Posted by lynn P.

I think it would've been entertaining to take their keys and see how they fumble at the end of the evening lol.....they shouldn't be driving anyway, so you'd be doing then a favor.

I've done that too, even when they're sober.

Originally Posted by Ygrec23

You, Michael, are a decent guy fighting, like all of us, your own internal demons. But to be stuck with business pals in an overloud bar with guys intent on getting drunk is something a whole lot of people would find excruciatingly boring. I would. The easy answer is: just to leave. With whatever excuse. You yourself, with your own self-described problems, certainly can have no more "social" inhibitions about leaving than I do.

Yeah, maybe the drinking example wasn't the best. It was just the most recent incident, and I feel most alienated from others in bars. Drinking lowers inhibition, and everyone around me becomes ever so comfortable with mingling, flirting, and so on. Everyone is having a wonderful time. But alcohol has a much different effect on me. I get more antisocial, in both the criminal and "get the hell away from me" sense. It becomes harder for me to smile and laugh at stupid jokes. I get frustrated, and I eventually become increasingly belligerent.

And that doesn't explain the fact that I have an even greater desire to do very immoral things when I get bored. I assume that most people, when bored, don't even think to randomly start robbing people or fantasize about a life as a gun for hire (and then seriously contemplate becoming one) when stuck in a boring situation. If they do, I'd bet they would feel quite bad about having those thoughts.

And yes, I can leave most situations with little consequence. But there are some things I'm obligated to do if I want to maintain this lifestyle.

So. Why do I even make this remark? Because I think, even with your problems, you're an okay guy, but you may well (with your own individuality) be fooling yourself in just quite how much you differ from others in particular situations. Yeah, I go sky-diving; yeah, I go mountain biking. And they're great things to do! But I'm in no way anti-social or psychopathic.

I'm sure most people do go sky diving. But I doubt that most people go sky diving or play mind games with people or pickpocket inebriated fools or drive a sportbike at 120 mph just to feel something.

Maybe you're more normal than you think. Think it over!

Then why do the statements and thoughts of normal people confuse me so much? And why are normal people so utterly perplexed by my thoughts and actions?

Originally Posted by Oxidopamine

I'm going to be the buzz kill of the party by saying it wouldn't matter whether you hated your life or were very content with your life, these feelings would still happen. If you are extremely content with your life, you may be unwilling to explore new things because you're a bug in a rug, nice and comfortable. I'm quite certain I would become pretty bored of the same things even if I like them.

You make an excellent point. It's highly probable that I will never be content with my life.

So, what I'm trying to say in a fairly convoluted manner is in your view, how do you define being content and is it feasible for you to fulfill it?

I imagine that, if I lived a life which was more consistent with my personality and was able to seek those adrenaline rushes at a whim, I would be content with that. Equilibrium and all that. I don't think it's possible for me to ever be in such a state, but I think I could get closer than I am now... if I stopped fighting my nature... which would be "bad".

If I'm bored and with my buddies, we sometimes spar or fence each other.

My friends and I spar too. I usually lose, but it's fun nonetheless. I never got into fencing, though...

[Ygrec23]

I said: "Maybe you're more normal than you think. Think it over!"

Michael replied:

Then why do the statements and thoughts of normal people confuse me so much? And why are normal people so utterly perplexed by my thoughts and actions?

Until I went into therapy at age 65 I felt exactly the same as you say you do. The statements and thoughts of "normal" people made as much sense to me as an abstract expressionist painting. And "normal" people frequently reacted to my statements or my doings by running away from me. This is true. I've found out in the recent past that I had manipulated the reality I perceive to an extent that made "normal" people totally strange to me, and made me totally strange to them. And, no, I'm not psychopathic or anti-social.

A specific symptom doesn't necessarily tie a person to a specific diagnostic category, as I'm sure you'll agree. Even the DSM usually requires several specific symptoms for a particular disorder. But I think there can also be an awful lot of leeway within those symptoms. That has to be at least one of the reasons that therapists really, really don't like to give people specific diagnoses, if they can get away with it. They know we're all different.

I think that most lay people like ourselves, and quite a number of professionals too, rely much too much on exclusive categories. Most of us "want" to be labelled. Being labelled makes it a little easier to deal with the situation, or at least many people think so. From where I sit those labels can, not always, but they can, mess up one's perception of the entirely fragmented and individuated nature of human beings. We really are different individuals, I think, even in our mental illnesses.

So, you yourself may well be a "75%" psychopath, with an admixture of a little of this and a little of that. Think of how many different ways you can make a hamburger or a martini. Though I haven't read all your posts, you may well have concentrated on what makes you psychopathic. Have you devoted much time to thinking about the different ways you're similar to other people? Take care.

Originally Posted by Ygrec23

Until I went into therapy at age 65 I felt exactly the same as you say you do. The statements and thoughts of "normal" people made as much sense to me as an abstract expressionist painting. And "normal" people frequently reacted to my statements or my doings by running away from me. This is true. I've found out in the recent past that I had manipulated the reality I perceive to an extent that made "normal" people totally strange to me, and made me totally strange to them. And, no, I'm not psychopathic or anti-social.

So you're saying that you merely acted differently and were treated differently because you perceived yourself to be abnormal... Why, then, if you were always actually "normal", did you begin to perceive yourself to be abnormal?

A specific symptom doesn't necessarily tie a person to a specific diagnostic category, as I'm sure you'll agree. Even the DSM usually requires several specific symptoms for a particular disorder. But I think there can also be an awful lot of leeway within those symptoms. That has to be at least one of the reasons that therapists really, really don't like to give people specific diagnoses, if they can get away with it. They know we're all different.

I'm aware.

I think that most lay people like ourselves, and quite a number of professionals too, rely much too much on exclusive categories. Most of us "want" to be labelled. Being labelled makes it a little easier to deal with the situation, or at least many people think so. From where I sit those labels can, not always, but they can, mess up one's perception of the entirely fragmented and individuated nature of human beings. We really are different individuals, I think, even in our mental illnesses.

I'm aware. This is an issue I've been dealing with before I even knew I was a psychopath. Before I even knew I was different. There was a time when I thought everyone thought the same way as me; that they felt nothing, but pretended, using others' actions as an example. But this was back in grade school. And as I began to question these things, I realized that I was very wrong...

Have you devoted much time to thinking about the different ways you're similar to other people? Take care.

Yeah. I dress, act, and talk like them... I never got too far on this task...

[Ygrec23]

I said: "Until I went into therapy at age 65 I felt exactly the same as you say you do. The statements and thoughts of "normal" people made as much sense to me as an abstract expressionist painting. And "normal" people frequently reacted to my statements or my doings by running away from me. This is true. I've found out in the recent past that I had manipulated the reality I perceive to an extent that made "normal" people totally strange to me, and made me totally strange to them. And, no, I'm not psychopathic or anti-social."

Michael replied:

So you're saying that you merely acted differently and were treated differently because you perceived yourself to be abnormal... Why, then, if you were always actually "normal", did you begin to perceive yourself to be abnormal?

No, not really. Due to some egregiously bad handling ages 0-2, I came out of it protecting myself against reality by unconsciously blocking out a substantial portion of it, particularly most things relating to people. Thereafter I was never "normal," whatever, of course, that is. I thought and perceived and acted in a way that seemed obviously correct to me and obviously screwy to others. In turn, I could never figure out why or how they did or said what they did or said. As of being an adult, I did have a very slight wisp of a suspicion that something somewhere might be wrong, but wasn't able to come to grips with it until now, a lifetime later. Take care!

[Oxidopamine]

Originally Posted by Michael the Great

Yeah, maybe the drinking example wasn't the best. It was just the most recent incident, and I feel most alienated from others in bars. Drinking lowers inhibition, and everyone around me becomes ever so comfortable with mingling, flirting, and so on. Everyone is having a wonderful time. But alcohol has a much different effect on me. I get more antisocial, in both the criminal and "get the hell away from me" sense. It becomes harder for me to smile and laugh at stupid jokes. I get frustrated, and I eventually become increasingly belligerent.

Alcohol can make people into a social butterfly, extremely aggressive, more sexual and so forth. We have a pub on campus and one of my friends was banned for a year because he began drinking too much, wanted to fight someone and some other angry drunk obliged. My friend broke his jaw, knocked 3 teeth out and resulted in the person requiring several stitches. When my cousin drinks, he becomes the same, only he was trained in the army, so instead of an average-size person, there's a large, very strong person who can strike pretty hard even though he cannot fight at full capacity. Two years ago he got into a drunk argument with some random drunk and knocked him out with the first punch. The guy's three buddies, all of whom were nicely pickled, weren't too thrilled and they retaliated. I haven't been to the army but I've trained with him outside the army as well as with a martial arts club for several years, although when I drink I become the opposite. I turn into a giggly school girl, do funny things, tell jokes, etc... .

That said, if I go to a bar with people, I drink very little. If you become aggressive, then why drink? Let the others drink or if you can control how much you drink, you could have just a little bit but not to the point where you're too inhibited.

Originally Posted by Michael the Great

And that doesn't explain the fact that I have an even greater desire to do very immoral things when I get bored. I assume that most people, when bored, don't even think to randomly start robbing people or fantasize about a life as a gun for hire (and then seriously contemplate becoming one) when stuck in a boring situation. If they do, I'd bet they would feel quite bad about having those thoughts.

You're right, they would feel pretty bad about having those thoughts. The only explanation I can come up with isn't particularly a helpful one as it's physiological-based.

Originally Posted by Michael the Great

But there are some things I'm obligated to do if I want to maintain this lifestyle.

Such as?

Originally Posted by Michael the Great

I'm sure most people do go sky diving. But I doubt that most people go sky diving or play mind games with people or pickpocket inebriated fools or drive a sportbike at 120 mph just to feel something.

I drove at roughly 100 mph and played mind games with people, both for fun and to feel a good adrenline rush. Granted, I was also polishing off my 5th energy drink at the time, so that could also explain why I kept driving fast. Pick-pocketing I used to do for fun when I was younger, although after someone did it to me, I was less than thrilled. I retrofitted my wallet so the part facing downward into my pocket has a small bell attached, whereas the part facing upward out of my pocket has a small black razor blade. I decided if I hate being pick-pocketed and went out of my way to try ensure it doesn't happen again, I'd be a hypocrite if I went and started doing it to others.

Originally Posted by Michael the Great

Then why do the statements and thoughts of normal people confuse me so much? And why are normal people so utterly perplexed by my thoughts and actions?

I'm not sure which thoughts and actions you're referring to specifically but perhaps this situation has occurred in your life. One of the many ways behavioural neuroscience is studied in psychopaths is by showing a group of controls (i.e. non-psychopaths) and experimentals (i.e. psychopaths) a set of pictures of people in physical agony or in no pain. Using fMRI scans, controls will indicate an emotional-sympathetic response, whereas psychopaths will either indicate no emotional response or a significantly reduce emotional response that isn't easily seen by facial expressions.

This study was performed in children, although others were performed using adults. It's a short paper, only 8 pages.
http://home.uchicago.edu/decety/publ...uroPsy2008.pdf

When your behaviours do not coincide with expected normalized responses, people become confused. People will then respond by trying to figure out why your reaction was different because if they can figure it out, they may find it less odd, however, when they cannot, they're baffled and think something is wrong. The paper briefly addresses one perspective of why you would be confused.

Originally Posted by Michael the Great

I imagine that, if I lived a life which was more consistent with my personality and was able to seek those adrenaline rushes at a whim, I would be content with that. Equilibrium and all that. I don't think it's possible for me to ever be in such a state, but I think I could get closer than I am now... if I stopped fighting my nature... which would be "bad".

There are various routes for achieving an adrenaline rush, although not all involve skydiving, driving at 120 mph, etc... . If memory serves, it was you who posted the Fishead video of corporate psychopaths.

Originally Posted by Michael the Great

My friends and I spar too. I usually lose, but it's fun nonetheless. I never got into fencing, though...

I'm not big into fencing, I suck at it actually. I'm sure you've thought of this but have you ever joined a boxing club or full-contact martial arts club if you enjoy it? I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post videos of martial art fights but if you go on youtube and look up, "Kyokushin Katate 9th World Open Tournament 2007 Best HL", you may find it interesting and it's a style I do practice.

Originally Posted by Oxidopamine

Such as?

Such as business meetings, family outings, conventions, projects which don't particularly interest me, clients who don't particularly interest me... Sh** like that. I'll just work through it most of the time with minor complaining. But when I get in a certain funk, it's difficult for me to focus and I become increasingly agitated.

I drove at roughly 100 mph and played mind games with people, both for fun and to feel a good adrenline rush. Granted, I was also polishing off my 5th energy drink at the time, so that could also explain why I kept driving fast. Pick-pocketing I used to do for fun when I was younger...

I think you and I would get along...

I'm not sure which thoughts and actions you're referring to specifically but perhaps this situation has occurred in your life. One of the many ways behavioural neuroscience is studied in psychopaths is by showing a group of controls (i.e. non-psychopaths) and experimentals (i.e. psychopaths) a set of pictures of people in physical agony or in no pain. Using fMRI scans, controls will indicate an emotional-sympathetic response, whereas psychopaths will either indicate no emotional response or a significantly reduce emotional response that isn't easily seen by facial expressions.

It's happened quite often. I was thinking more along the lines of opinions of criminal behaviour. Most non-psychopaths with whom I associate, when they see someone who's waiving his money around and paying absolutely no attention to his wallet unless he's getting it to pay for a beer, they say what a poor fellow he is and that the bartender should cut him off. I think I want to mess with him. Most people don't even consider such things. It literally never crosses their mind that they could lift his wallet. When they come across someone who does just that, they're shocked and appalled. And I'm baffled when they become shocked and appalled, because I thought the thoughts and actions of such nefarious people were obvious.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by Michael the Great

I assume that most people, when bored, don't even think to randomly start robbing people or fantasize about a life as a gun for hire (and then seriously contemplate becoming one) when stuck in a boring situation. If they do, I'd bet they would feel quite bad about having those thoughts.

I don't know, if you hurt when you're bored, I can see it. My therapist announced she was going to be away in X weeks for Y period of time and I was fine with it in the session but when I left, I spotted her car in the parking lot and immediately thought of slashing her tires. Another time after she announced she'd be away, three or four days later I found myself obsessed with thinking about switchblades.

The thing is, for me, the thoughts are startling (don't make me feel bad, they're just thoughts and not at all controllable by me, just what actions I take as a result are, or whether I focus on them or some other thoughts, etc.) so I think of them as "red flags" that something else is going on and turn my high beam search lights on to probe through the mess I call my mind and see if I can figure out where they came from and what the "problem" is.

I think you find the thoughts "normal"/usual and not particularly startling, more or less expect them to be there so try to "resist" them as if they are "real"/all there is instead of wondering about why they are there right that moment.

I think your boredom creates them as a kind of perverse entertainment. I think if you worked with the feeling of boredom (and feeling trapped in it) and how to deal with it constructively, some of the antisocial thoughts would lose their power to automatically grab hold of your imagination and your behavior would be less likely to be antisocial.

I know exactly what you mean. Meditating is the only thing to keep me on an even keel, when I can manage to concentrate long enough to. Oh. And I'm back on the internet. Feel free to inbox me if you ever find you can't keep yourself together. I probably won't be much help, but I'm receptive & I won't provoke it to get worse. So that's always a plus.

[Oxidopamine]

Originally Posted by Michael the Great

I think you and I would get along...

We have our differences but yeah I think we would.

Originally Posted by Michael the Great

It's happened quite often. I was thinking more along the lines of opinions of criminal behaviour. Most non-psychopaths with whom I associate, when they see someone who's waiving his money around and paying absolutely no attention to his wallet unless he's getting it to pay for a beer, they say what a poor fellow he is and that the bartender should cut him off. I think I want to mess with him. Most people don't even consider such things. It literally never crosses their mind that they could lift his wallet. When they come across someone who does just that, they're shocked and appalled. And I'm baffled when they become shocked and appalled, because I thought the thoughts and actions of such nefarious people were obvious.

That's actually pretty interesting you mention this because several of my closest uncles and cousins, as well as my grandfather and father would either consider grabbing the poor chap's wallet or go for it. One of my cousins is about 27 years old and frequently goes to various bars, where he mentions the same thing, although he actually has nabbed the person's money. I don't see why people would be appalled because it's akin to the person throwing money around and people diving for it. I suppose people may view it as taking advantage of someone who is too drunk to realize the danger/opportunity.

Originally Posted by Perna

I don't know, if you hurt when you're bored, I can see it. My therapist announced she was going to be away in X weeks for Y period of time and I was fine with it in the session but when I left, I spotted her car in the parking lot and immediately thought of slashing her tires. Another time after she announced she'd be away, three or four days later I found myself obsessed with thinking about switchblades.

Was there an alternate motive, such as revenge?

Originally Posted by Oxidopamine

That's actually pretty interesting you mention this because several of my closest uncles and cousins, as well as my grandfather and father would either consider grabbing the poor chap's wallet or go for it. One of my cousins is about 27 years old and frequently goes to various bars, where he mentions the same thing, although he actually has nabbed the person's money. I don't see why people would be appalled because it's akin to the person throwing money around and people diving for it. I suppose people may view it as taking advantage of someone who is too drunk to realize the danger/opportunity.

Pft. It was his choice to get drunk out of his mind, knowing that he could do something foolish like "make it rain" and have his money stolen. He should, therefore, accept the consequence of whatever foolish thing he does while drunk. I mean... we wouldn't feel so sympathetic for the bloke if he, drunk out of his mind, wasted all his money on booze and hookers, would we? Aren't the hookers taking advantage of his drunken state?

[billywayne]

I usuall try to get away as fast as I can cause if I dont then the urge to committ this act will overpower me

Does it bother you that you could or would commit the act? If so, in what way does it bother you and why?

[di meliora]

To blame the victim for your criminal act is ludicrous.

*cough* ...

The Great: Well, I would assume it would be to save his own ***. That's a very interesting line to draw for someone with ASPD. Does the urge to save your *** outweigh the urge to commit criminal activities? One means survival, the other COULD mean self-destruction, but they are both ultimately self serving in their own individual way.