[krisakira]

I hope I am welcome here since I do not have ASPD. However I do not see people with ASPD as bad people. Interesting, yes, but so is everyone else.

Perhaps I should start over. Hi my name is Kris.

My therapist has told me, that from all that I've told her about my dad, she thinks my dad has symptoms of ASPD because he has no real connection with other people, and does not really show emotion. He never tells me he loves me, or anyone. He thinks he has Asperger's Syndrome, but he has never shown remorse for anything he has done to me or anyone else. Yes, he abused me.

All I want to do is learn more about my dad, and where he is coming from, and why he is the way he is. I want to understand. I'm not looking for a reason why he abused me. Quite honestly, I feel as though he fits Asperger's Syndrome more than ASPD, but I was wondering if anyone knew if there could be some sort of cross between the two, where symptoms might overlap. I am more interested in why he doesn't show remorse or say he loves anyone. Perhaps someone can shed some light on this subject.

[opilione]

(Obligatory "I'm not a doctor just reasonably intelligent person on the internet" statement.)

I think the difference between Asperger's and ASPD is that Asperger's people might genuinely want to connect but cannot get the hang of socializing, while people with ASPD have no genuine desire to connect most of the time. People with ASPD can have magnetic personalities, but their motivations in communication are in swaying people to their own wills instead of connecting with them. They might not see the needs of other people as something they have to attend to at all. People with Asperger's, on the other hand, might understand that other people have needs but have a hard time understanding those needs, and therefore won't understand how to help them fulfill their needs.

If your dad is really, honestly clueless about your emotional needs and other people's emotional needs, he may have Asperger's. If he is aware of those needs and does not see any obligation on his part to show you or anyone else any regard or warmth in light of that awareness, or if he regards you and everyone else as weak or lesser for having emotional needs, he likely has ASPD. My dad had a bit of both, and yours might be the same way.

I am admittedly self-diagnosing out the (bleep) when I say I probably have a bit of both, but I'm high-functioning enough that I never went to the head doctor for this stuff...

That was a well-spoken response... There's not much I can add to that.

[krisakira]

Thank you for the responses, that does make more sense. My mother once told my dad, "She isn't going to do what you say, because she doesn't think you love her." and he replied, "Well what matters is that she obeys me, not that she feels that I love her." I'd say that leans more toward ASPD than Asperger's, because he was told my emotional needs, and denied them to me.

[Contrast]

There are several types of empathy; I will give a vague explanation.

sympathy - yes, I know it's distinctive from empathy itself but I'm going to throw it in there anyways, because after all, sympathy is feeling contempt, sorrow and pity for someone else.. a good example in this is not performing a deadly martial art technique on your arch-enemy because you simply don't want him to go through that pain.

affective - (obviously derives from affection), in this form of empathy you will share your agony, love, grief, disappointment with (and of) other people. Clear example: everyone crying at a funeral or feeling sad for someone's deep misfortune.

cognitive - understanding motives, stressor and thoughts. e.g, you clearly understand why someone would manipulate and lie to get to the top and you fluently justify that with cognitive empathy... you know how you hear those sympathetic people vehemently moaning "I don't know why someone would kill a puppy, such a poor thing!"? well someone with cognitive empathy could understand someone killed the puppy possibly for thrill or dominance.

all have different characteristics, you see?
--
Time to distinguish what forms of empathy your dad has,

most would agree that people with Asperger's lack cognitive empathy, they don't exactly understand why people do the ***** they do, it's a deficit and makes them socially inept but they most likely seem to be normal in the other 2 forms of empathy but do not exhibit it's characteristics well..

So, is your dad sufficient at cognitive empathy but sucks at the other 2?
Or is your dad sufficient at sympathy and affection but only have a minority of an issue but sucks at cognition and do you think he has alexithymia?