Hi,

Simple question, can someone with ASPD love?

I was told by my pdoc that I have antisocial traits but have never been fully diagnosed with it. I'm wondering is this because I'm in a steady relationship and have a lot of love for my family.

[yagr]

Simple answer - absolutely!

[Atypical_Disaster]

This is where I think a label can be limiting. The stereotype is that people with ASPD cannot love and for many that is likely true, but I know two people with ASPD that most definitely are capable of love and are in love.

[leomama]

That is funny because a family friend described my ex that way, being unable to love.

[marmaduke]

I think ASPDs can love.
I don't believe narcissists/psychopaths can love because they lack empathy.
I don't think it's possible to love without empathy.

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[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by marmaduke

I think ASPDs can love.
I don't believe narcissists/psychopaths can love because they lack empathy.
I don't think it's possible to love without empathy.

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This. As I've said, ASPD and psychopath do not mean the same thing.

[marmaduke]

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Thanks for the insight people!

[mr.Paraplegarino]

in my experience you can love. i scored a 94 and i can love. i made a commitment to myself that i would never act hostile towards my family and i believe it is starting to work. i love the phrase fake it until you make it. it works all the time. i can simply make myself better by burying my weaknesses until they completely fade away. praise "I WILL" until you grow free of fear and you will be unstoppable. i dont even care if it comes to my game over. if JFK can handle it and persevere, so can i. u can too.

TO BE BEATEN, YOU MUST BE BROKEN, BUT FIRST YOU NEED TO BREAK YOURSELF.

[VoidOfOblivion]

I don't know what that is, I don't feel that. Personally, I believe love is non-existent and even when defined by psychology it's never really been attained. To me, it's an intangible concept that's utterly useless and I only use it to entice(mostly females) to be more supportive of me and do things for me. I can care about and like people to a certain degree, just not love,,I don't even love or care about my own family.

But everyone has their own experiences and feelings that are subjective, so it's possible for others to.

[VoidOfOblivion]

I see love as pointless, useless, and nonexistent.

[missreignfire]

I'm in a relationship with someone with aspd and he takes care of me and puts his needs before his own. He explained his feelings towards me as I am a prized possession. He owns me. I'm ok with this and I love him and worship him as my god

[RainyDay107]

That other site gave a lot of feedback. I don't know the answer, myself.

That said, it sounds like you two definitely bonded, that's great! Meeting each other's needs is so important and he's putting your needs before his, too! Congratulations!

[fth1991]

I'm one and to say that I am able to love is a strong wronged answer but sure I am able to get somehow obsessed with the people that I have interest to "own". This is somehow sometimes mimicking a sort of superficial love. Beside since I am a trained to live in society and mimic emotions I am very good at adressing my sexual lust into something that most people would see it as love. The problem is when people like me get bored and loses interest in the "aimed person"

[Batthebikey]

Ha Ha I was going to reply but Void of Oblivion said it all for me, absolutely spot on. The thing I care most about is my cat, but if I had to move house or couldn't keep him for some reason I would have no hesitation in blowing his head off and I know from experience that I would have no remorse or guilt. As for humans I don't think I could ever care more for a human than my cat. So my answer is if you have the full suite of ASPD symptoms you would be incapable of love. I also never feel lonely so It is something I simply don't understand.

[Steiger]

Conditional love.

[CelestialFlame]

I think love is too strong of a word. Care? Yes. Love? Personally i have not experienced that.

[Steiger]

Care isn’t the same as love? Then I’m not sure either.

[Steiger]

I only care about the people and animals and plants I love. I’m not all that good at it but I try.

[Steiger]

Maybe trying to be social with other anti-socials is “barking up the wrong tree”.🤣

[albk]

No. That's unrealistic.

[ASPDM3]

I can feel 'love' for a very select few people in my life, from discussions with other people, my perception of love and what it means or is is very different to someone who doesn't have aspd. So I would say you could argue it is possible, just not quite in the way you're maybe assuming.

[Steiger]

Originally Posted by ASPDM3

I can feel 'love' for a very select few people in my life, from discussions with other people, my perception of love and what it means or is is very different to someone who doesn't have aspd. So I would say you could argue it is possible, just not quite in the way you're maybe assuming.

Well said, I completely agree. As to how to specifically articulate the difference, now that is the challenge.

[Confusedxx]

I was never officially diagnosed, but I feel as though I have this. I have a very VERY hard time relating to others and when people show emotions around me I become very uncomfortable. I can "love" a select few in my life, but I often find that I have periods of disassociation from them. Like I could just pick my stuff up, quit my job, and move to where no one knows me and not even care or look back.

Though my "love" and another's love is completely different. I have grown to a level with my fiance that we are constantly in communication, and I "love" him but with others I am suppose to love I sometimes get annoyed with what is suppose to be "normal" love. My mother could text me "I miss you terribly" and I would just be plain annoyed with it. My aunt could text me "I love you" and I would just completely ignore it.

[Loose Screw x 2]

I have a brother who described his younger self as being without feeling and he was in trouble a lot as a kid, a teen and a young man.
Now, according to him he didn't have the capacity for the soft side of emotion until God finally got through to him and as a result he gave his heart to Christ and had an interesting experience but, I only brought that up because this is how it was told to me.
Even so, he still is aflicted with obvious mental disorders and conditions from the way he grew up.
He can seem like a cool dude and a friendly guy but, underneath it all he is still mad dog crazy and loves to talk about violence when the subject comes up. It's really kind of weird too because he can be real expressive in his emotions but, he can be mean as a snake too.
We both like to get on the subject of torture sometimes and what we would like to do to those who would be foolish enough to victimize family members.
He has some cool ideas - Oh! Sorry. Didn't mean to get sidetracked.
But, he was like this even as a child. He was very disobedient, misogynistic and fascinated with darkness. Sometimes he still acts like this and grins happily when talking about violence but, he actually does seem to love his wife and children although they have all had an extremely rocky relationship at times mainly because of how mean he can be.
So yes, I do believe that a person like this is capable of love but, may not know how to unlock it or learning to do that may be extremely difficult. Extremely difficult.