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#1
And would you like to chat?
I've been reading through some of PsychCentral's archived posts on the subject of psychopathy in an attempt to find some insights from psychopaths. And I found some real gems, but the authors have long since departed. Anyway... I've been going back and forth on whether or not I'm a psychopath for ages. Since the early teen years (I'm late 20s). I even risked taking a personality test to find out, and it indicated that I had all the hallmarks of a psychopath. To be clear, this was a formal diagnostic tool that my therapist had me take. It wasn't the MMPI, but it was a similar behemoth of a test that took something like 4 or 5 hours to complete. I thought this would've settled the matter. After all, who am I to argue with an educated professional? But no, stubborn as I am, I reasoned that the test and both of my therapists (the first one dumped me) must've been wrong somehow. Why? Because I have feelings. I cry very easily. Pretty much anytime a dog dies in a movie, I, without any semblance of shame, will sob like a lost child. When my dog died, I wallowed in despair on my couch for two days. I get anxious sometimes when doing something new, where I feel out of my depth or not in control. On the other hand, I watched a man bleed to death in front of me (motorcycle accident), and I felt basically nothing. Also, admittedly, when I cry over a movie or some really sad meme, it seems a bit shallow. I don't know how to explain it. It's more like a knee-jerk response rather than a true feeling. I'm at a loss. I don't know if what I feel is normal or how to find out. So I thought I'd come ask the psychopaths, to any who may be reading. Do you feel anything at all? Do you ever get anxious or sad? And if so, what caused it? To what extent did you feel it? |
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MickeyCheeky
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Atypical_Disaster, feb2020user, MickeyCheeky
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#2
I'm not diagnosed with ASPD, and you can't really know if you're a psychopath or sociopath, as these terms are just theories. Psychopaths, as well as sociopaths, can feel, not as intense as the average and not the same feelings, but still they can. Sociopaths tend to be more anxious, stressed out and out of control, while psychopaths tend to be more laidback. However, psychopaths can still get out of control, as they've got a low frustration control.
So, anyone diagnosed with ASPD, as well as psychopaths and sociopaths may feel. I don't even think it's possible to not feel anything at all. Since the existence of psychopathy and sociopathy is not clinically stated, the diagnosis of ASPD is used. ASPD is mainly behaviour-based, and doesn't necessarily involve personality, so you might be able to feel more or less, and you would still be antisocial, as it's behaviour, not personality. Psychopathy and sociopathy however are personality and behaviour based. I can't really give you personal experiences as I'm not diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure anyone here will say they do feel and get anxious, sad and such. |
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Atypical_Disaster, Raven22386
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#3
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My history is squeaky clean for someone who tests as a psychopath, but I think that has more to do with lack of opportunity than anything else. There wasn't much of a criminal enterprise where I grew up, and the few criminal types we did have were contemptibly stupid. I've had a few run-ins with the police, but nothing major. Duping delight, on the other hand... I've got that in ****ing spades, such that people who know me well have remarked that I only truly smile when I'm being devious. And it's true. I get all giddy and excited in ways that I've never experienced under any other circumstance. I also react rather poorly to frustration. Like, throwing things at a wall in a fit of rage "poorly." Those moments are rare, though, and the rage fits never last more than a few minutes. |
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Atypical_Disaster
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#4
I was around with a fun crew. I don’t stop in here often anymore because well, the psychopaths left. I’m more than likely in the archives somewhere... feel free to PM me if I don’t check back. My dad is a psychopath but sucks at it, he tried to raise me to be a better psychopath than he was. My mom raised me to be a prostitute... the last psych evaluation I had they asked why I wasn’t the most infamous female serial killer in US history but ended up giving me a different Dx. I still however attract every psychopath in a 100 Miles and my son (adopted) is one, a damn good one.
__________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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Grand Magnate
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#5
I would dare say yes, they have feelings and yes, even values and a moral compass they are just different than societies. We seem to have some things in common...
__________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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#6
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And how do you find psychopaths in the wild? I've recognized a few, but it's rare, and they're fickle creatures who disappear on a whim. |
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Grand Poohbah
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#7
Last edited by TunedOut; Jun 21, 2019 at 09:27 AM.. Reason: Confusing and invalidating--fixed that! |
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#8
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TunedOut
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#9
I am not a psychopath but my psychotic manias can be psychopathic and I wonder if my father may be one.
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TunedOut
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#10
Psychopathy is where you figuratively murder yourself twice, and it's not even premeditated. I thought it was funny, too.
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#11
My belief is that some people tend to attract psychopaths or people in the dark triad without intentionally meaning to. It helps to be able to recognize traits at least rather than diagnosing people in your life.
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#12
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I tend to attract very emotionally unstable people, and I don't know why. |
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tecomsin
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#13
I think there has been a lot written on that in the 'self-help' literature for 'victims of psychopaths' or 'narcissistic abuse' and so on. I put quotes here to refer to google terms. I don't put much stock in what is written for people who visit those sites.
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Grand Magnate
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#14
Yes, my father attempted to raise me to be a better psychopath than he is, he tends towards being more mischievous... he has the brains and the personality but not the looks or the money... I had the looks. It was interesting, I have a wide variety of skill sets that I have to make sure I am careful who knows about them...
As for attracting them, nothing will attract a psychopath faster than an odd mix of victim tendencies (there was a lot of abuse in my childhood) matched with a high IQ and matching skill sets... they find me entertaining and curious... to be able to get a psychopath to have to think drives them bonkers with curiosity. The fact that I am not intimidated or “bothered” by them adds to the attraction. __________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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#15
deleted by tecomsin. accidental repeat.
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#16
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True, I'd find all of those things interesting in a friend, particularly if they're not bothered by me or my weird interests. |
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#17
Sexual psychopathy
They get sexually aroused by cooperating They get sexually aroused by not getting kissed They get sexually aroused by not having sex |
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#18
AsPD/BPD here. Yes it seems like an unsual combination, but yes they also do exist comorbid.
I have managed to find other people with AsPD online to chat with, including self labeled psychopaths and sociopaths. I find you have to weed out the people who label themselves as psychopaths because it seems like the cool thing to do. I have no idea why a mental illness would be appealing, but it is. If you are looking for genuine conversation, I might suggest that you seek out those who identify with the AsPD label over the psychopath label. Although psychopathy is not an official diagnosis, those who fit the criteria all have AsPD. All "psychopaths" have aspd, not all antisocials are psychopaths. You would be surprised how many people will say they are a psychopath, but have never heard of aspd. Of course you dont have to he officially diagnosed to identify with the traits or even have a diagnosis. I am just not a super big fan of self diagnosing. One of my closest friends has an aspd/schitzo combination and we get along very well. I have found because people with aspd tend to be lower on the emotional scale, they make great conversationalists because they are more objective. Generalization of course, but it is what I have noticed. So many people think being a psychopath is the equivalent of being an awesome bad ***. They dont see the effort it takes to mask themselves within society and blend in. To curb impulses and live within the confines of societal rules that dont make sense. To live without the same type of emotional bonds that so many of us take for granted. The challenges of aspd and psychopathy are not minimal. That being said, there are strengths too. People with aspd tend to make strong paramedics, doctors, lawyers, CEO's and such. Careers where having a lower emotional threshold can help one be successful. Okay, Im rambling. You probably know all this, but perhaps someone reading along doesnt. If there are other aspd diagnosed people on the forum looking for open minded, non judgemental, non "edgelord" type conversations, Im around. Though I am not strictly aspd, I do relate. __________________ "There is no great genius without some touch of madness." |
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#19
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Where have you had the most luck? Another poster mentioned Quora, but Quora doesn't seem like the best forum for casual conversation (unless I just haven't figured out how to use it). Also, one of the self-proclaimed psychopaths there says people try to doxx her all the time. If you are looking for genuine conversation, I might suggest that you seek out those who identify with the AsPD label over the psychopath label. Prison? They dont see the effort it takes to mask themselves within society and blend in. To curb impulses and live within the confines of societal rules that dont make sense. To live without the same type of emotional bonds that so many of us take for granted. The challenges of aspd and psychopathy are not minimal. Yeah, we're not without our problems. If only society would fix its stupid rules and change so that I wouldn't have a need for the mask. |
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Atypical_Disaster
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#20
There are other mental health forums that have ASPD sections too. I don't think all psychopaths have ASPD, nor vice versa, but there is a lot of overlap.
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