I like sociopaths

Baby don't hurt me 🎶

Oh god everything.. no jk ..

It used to be everything. But phenibut makes me manic and then the withdrawal makes me manic so I take a little bit to go to sleep so now I sleep.

I wrote a bunch of psychedelic stuff after I cried and then I cried again. Now I feel sleepish.

But I post about it in the addictions forum.. to taper off of it.. It's my last drug out of;

phenibut, gabapentin, pregabalin, diclazepam, nifoxipam, lorazepam, alprazolam, etizolam, flubromazepam, clonazepam, zopiclone, ketamine, deschloroketamine, dextromethorphan, methoxephenidine, methylphenidate, 4-methylmethylphenidate, 3,4-dichloromethylphenidate, 4-fluoromethylphenidate, ethylphenidate, cocaine, crack cocaine, methamphetamine, 4-fluoroamphetamine, dichloropane, 3-fluorophenmetrazine, Adderall, Vyvanse, caffeine, nicotine, ephedrine, a-PVP, 6-APB, 5-APB, MDMA, Marijuana, Psilocybin, 5-MeO-MiPT, DMT, Allylescaline, 1P-LSD, Mebroqualone, Armodafinil, Alcohol, diphenhydramine, hydromorphone, oxycodone, codeine, U-47700, kratom, heroin, etc..

But hopefully will be my last. Apart from nicotine. I like nicotine.

I'm a complicated human and people judge me but a lot of people think I'm great.

I like to lift people up and not put them down. That's just what I do.

No D: It's about r-e-a-l-i-t-y

Reality is a fun word to mean "Idek what even... what? is it *this apple*? my hand? idk.."

I'm sorry for all the bad assumptions I said about you people.

I just get scared =]

My step dad was a narcissist. He beat my mom. I forgive him.. he will one day realize that he's alone and his daughter doesn't talk to him, he has to work as a heavy duty mechanic until he's 50. He's 45 now and will die cuz he can't quit cigarettes from stress. He will be too weak to lift things. Everyone will find out that he's been manipulating them.

But I'm not talking about narcissists. SOCIOS. Psychos are people too.

Idk if ye want to be "normal" but no one is. We're all ****ed up and soon will die and wake up, unplug the wires from our brains and someone will tell you that you have completed stage 4 of the simulation, to walk out of the metal building and see the birds flying, walk into the park in the galactic city where killing people is legal and once the joker finds you, you know he's still your friend but wants to kill you and he never will.

Then you'll wake up and find out that it was just a dream.

I don’t much like narcissists myself though I like to play one online because then the actual narcissists who want to be “psychopaths” (why? I don’t get it.) always think they can fool me and I know I’m not the only person with ASPD who’s used this extremely simple trick. Reverse psychology, it works like a charm. They all say the exact same ****, they’re all “oh so terrifying but oh so unique/special psychopaths that do such dark psychopath things and no one understands. WOE IS ME!”

I liked watching Dexter. IRL though, I think I get scared because I have PTSD and DID.

I once had a female friend who claimed that she was diagnosed with psychopathy. She originally had been diagnosed with avoidant pd. She was at a church we both attended for a few years as friends. We were both like outcasts for different reasons. She got upset at the female pastor, so then she threw the pastor's computer monitor down and smashed it to pieces.

She later showed me a picture she drew of a bat hitting her mother's head.

She was in therapy for years, until one day her therapist terminated her, but not before the therapist called the police and had the police warn her neighbor that she was a danger to them. She was evicted.

She then went to an attachment treatment center that helped her embrace her strengths as a psychopath, according to her.

I attentively listened to her, but I had to end our friendship after she drove both of us through a monsoon for the sake of thrill-seeking. She laughed at my terror and saw my PTSD as weak, but she felt proud for her own bravery and strengths.

Ironically, she still attends church, but not the same one where she broke the pastor's computer monitor.

I do not mean to judge, but I needed to distance myself in order to feel safe from her. I do think she has some incredible strengths and courage, though her anger does become criminal.

And this was all when she was 50 years old! She looked great for her age. Slim build, average height.

She reminded me of a female Dexter, only, with a temper.

I hope I did not offend anyone here. I know that everyone deals with their own issues differently. I just thought I would share because I can relate to the sensationalism of mental illness, due to my having DID. I cannot attribute psychopathy, sociopathy, or ASPD to Dexter, because I would not want my DID to be attributed to Sybil, United States of Terror, or Split, among others. Do I like those shows? Sometimes, when I am not having PTSD symptoms. But it sucks when people generalize. Anyway, I thought I would share my thoughts.

Willingly? What was she trying to change?

I think Dexter would've been much more fun to watch if the show portrayed him as a proper psychopath.

Quote:

Originally Posted by theoretical Willingly? What was she trying to change? I think Dexter would've been much more fun to watch if the show portrayed him as a proper psychopath.

Yes, willingly. I think she just needed validation for being a good person. She also dealt with constant thoughts of revenge.

Well, obviously she wasn't.

Maybe she just wanted an explanation.

Quote:

Originally Posted by theoretical Well, obviously she wasn't. Maybe she just wanted an explanation.

She is trying to be a good person. I try not to categorize people as good or bad though, but I fail at that sometimes. What I'm striving for is seeing the behavior as good or bad, but not the person themselves.

I cared about her, but she did scare me. If I didn't have PTSD, I could probably still be her friend, but with more boundaries intact. With PTSD though, I just couldn't. It's not a reflection on her per se, but rather her unresolved issues that she may or may not be willing to address in treatment.

I will say that she seemed happy when I last saw her a few years ago. She had all these projects going on (she's an artist), but she does get emotional - tears mixed with rage. I felt really bad for her years ago when she was going through a rough time at the church we all attended. The church wasn't the healthiest for certain people with mental illnesses or social stigmas, so we left. I was her friend for a few years before I moved out of state. I visited her a few years ago, after spending nearly a decade conversing with her online. My relationship with her ended about 2 years ago.

Hey there demons. It's me, ya boy!

No jk.. but yknow people who I am really afraid of? People with BPD with a high IQ. They cause death indirectly by making people commit suicide or lose their money etc..

They need real high dose shroom.

And yes I find it weird how people claim to be sociopath.. remember, as I said.. modesty is important. You can't just walk around and put a label on yourself and say "Look at me. I think I am great. I show you how great I am".

Cuz theres always people that judge.. one sec.. here's something I wrote.. (Cuz narcissists were saying I'm lost and will end up as a serial killer.. and that I'm asexual because I hate women cuz my mom with breast cancer is a *****..along with many many other things they said to me like I'll kill someone if I stop my meds.. I show them love after and now they feel stupid..)

"When you feel happy but something is really wrong
And you can’t feel sad because then you have to let it all go
But you can’t and all the thoughts bother you every day
All of the things that people have been saying
Often the good doesn’t outweigh the bad
Because you believe in all of the lies
And just want to be free
When you want to tell someone how you feel
But you don’t want to make a big deal of it
So it’s all kept locked inside of your head
To suffer in silence and try to not end up dead
Depression sometimes can evolve into this many years later
Or it’s just a matter of what can happen sometimes
To anyone"

I hope you all have a good day today.

I do want to say that, although I'm not a sociopath, I am afraid of expressing negative emotions (even though I do feel them). For that reason, I've admired the ways in which those with psychopathy, sociopathy, and/or ASPD are able to control their emotions and/or not feel them. There are times when I wish I had those abilities, and to think purely logical, be perfectly stoic. Call me ignorant, because I'm not really sure what people with psychopathy, sociopathy, or ASPD go through or think about, such as whether or not they are in "distress," even if it comes out differently than other people with different disorders or no disorder at all.

I was wondering if it was okay to ask that here, or at least ask if you all like sociopaths for similar reasons.

I was involved with a psychopath. I was aware of who he was. I was aware of his history. I completely accepted him knowing that his brain is wired differently.

In spite of this all, it blew up in my face. I call people who are attracted to psychopaths "fan girls or fan boys". I can see why it looks sexy, but being attracted to a mental illness instead of a person is not super healthy.

Statistically only a small portion of the population are psychopaths. The odds of finding one are not in your favor. I am not saying the relationship isn't worth it and I am not saying it can't be done.

Psychopathy is a sliding scale. Perhaps you find someone and you click, great. Ideally you are completely aware and not living in a dream world. To seek them out though I find peculiar. Why seek someone with a mental illness when not all present the same?

A note on psychopath/sociopathy/ASPD. They're all under the same umbrella and appear similar in behavior, but they have distinguishing features. For the purposes of this conversation, you're talking about primary psychopaths, who have a diminished capacity for experiencing emotions, particularly complex emotions.

Anyway, you're correct that psychopaths process information, even emotional information, with logic. When I'm in a conversation with someone and they appear sad or distressed, I can read their body language and react somewhat appropriately, but I don't connect with them emotionally. I'm basically making a logical deduction about their emotional state, and I'm able to give purely logical responses because it doesn't affect me emotionally.

Psychopaths are also a lot more resilient to stress and trauma than the average person, but they can still get butthurt over things that happen to them.

I don't know about the OP's intentions. I would like to find psychopaths because I'm not sure I could handle close companionship with a nonpsychopath. You've all got too many emotions, and I don't know how to handle them all.

Quote:

Originally Posted by theoretical For the purposes of this conversation, you're talking about primary psychopaths, who have a diminished capacity for experiencing emotions, particularly complex emotions. Anyway, you're correct that psychopaths process information, even emotional information, with logic. When I'm in a conversation with someone and they appear sad or distressed, I can read their body language and react somewhat appropriately, but I don't connect with them emotionally. I'm basically making a logical deduction about their emotional state, and I'm able to give purely logical responses because it doesn't affect me emotionally. Psychopaths are also a lot more resilient to stress and trauma than the average person, but they can still get butthurt over things that happen to them.

I have a hard time reading other people's emotions sometimes, too, even if I understand them and have an emotional response to them. Maybe we're different that way, but I try to find some similarities when I can. I think every human, no matter their limitations, struggles with reading, receiving, and or responding to certain emotions. But to *not* minimize your struggles, I cannot imagine what it must be like to not feel or understand emotions.

I think media sensationalizes certain disorders all the time. I have DID, but the media portrays us as sociopaths (which I think is distinguished from primary psychopaths, but I'm not sure in what ways). That said, most people with DID are not sociopaths, and such media sensationalism reduces the struggles that those with sociopathy might be going through. I also think that it is unfair of the media to paint those with primary psychopathy in a negative light, when not all of those with primary psychopathy are criminally deviant - at least that is what I've read somewhere (Hare, maybe).

And I think what most people don't understand is that while those with psychopathy are resilient in many ways, they still hurt, which is what I think you pointed out. The hurt may be felt differently for those with psychopathy, but it's not fair or right to hurt anyone just because of their disposition let alone anything else. It's one thing to defend oneself, but it's another thing to be judgmental and offensive at the start. I try to understand, and I try to admit when I don't understand. I unintentionally hurt people sometimes when I say certain words or react a certain way, but there's a balance between defending oneself (sometimes through boundaries) and actually intending to harm someone. Many people with the ability to feel and detect emotions unintentionally harm people when they misread or misjudge other people's emotions, actions, non-emotions, or intentions. Therapy does help with that.

I'm not sure if you've had any success in therapy, as many therapists may not understand psychopathy. I'm not sure why they use psychopathy, sociopathy, and ASPD synonymously. I once worked with a social worker (researcher) who knew a lot about the differences between the three. As his student and mentee, he did explain to me that not everyone with psychopathy meets the diagnostic criteria of ASPD, and not everyone with psychopathy has callous-unemotional traits; some may have unemotional traits without the callousness, and others may mimic emotional expression without actually feeling them (thus not truly representing the symptoms of ASPD). There may be considerable overlap between the three terms, but for some reason, psychopathy and sociopathy aren't listed in the DSM as their own categories, even if their mention may be elsewhere (which I don't know yet).

Also, I think your wanting a relationship with another person with psychopathy sounds great, but I think there have been success stories with those who claim to be primary psychopaths (born with it) and are married, holding down great jobs (I think as researchers, professors, government employees, etc.), and are doing great things for the community. As an undergrad a few years back, I read that somewhere, but I cannot recall where. It opened my eyes to my own misunderstanding of what psychopathy was.

Anyway, I thought I'd respond to you with some encouragement. Maybe the following might be funny or not received the same as others may receive it, but I like to give (((safe hugs))) online, so here goes: (((safe hugs))) It may not be the same thing as a real hug, but it generally means kindness and happiness and understanding are returned back and/or offered to the person you're speaking with.

I hope you have a great day today! Thank you so much for responding to me!

"I don't know about the OP's intentions. I would like to find psychopaths because I'm not sure I could handle close companionship with a nonpsychopath. You've all got too many emotions, and I don't know how to handle them all."

I know a few with aspd and some paths. They are easier to get along with because they are rational thinkers. Companionship is great provided you understand the disorders. Romantically it can be complicated.

I reread OP. I injected romance when their was none. My bad. Yes they can be good friends.

Wait, so what are the differences between primary psychopathy, other forms of psychopathy, sociopathy, and ASPD? Since this thread is about liking sociopaths, are you differentiating sociopaths from psychopaths?

When I enjoyed watching Dexter, I assumed that he was a sociopath, as opposed to a psychopath, given his early childhood experiences coupled with a possible predisposition neurologically. I also assumed that Dexter's hallucinations was part of sociopathy, but I now wonder if psychopathy involves hearing voices/seeing hallicinations as well.

What attracts you to liking sociopaths? Is it the thrill-seeking behaviors? Is it the crafty manipulations, given the keen sense of reading people through logic? Is it the social deviancy as a form of pride? Is it the uniqueness? Is it all of the above?

For me, I liked watching Dexter because that show brought a humane aspect to sociopathy - the kind that fought againts other predators that harmed others.

Then there are sensationalist movies like that one about Jason (I forgot the title of one of the recent films), where Jason had dealt with traumas growing up, and it showed his childhood. I think this was like a flashback movie depiction, which is presumed to be a backstory to all the Friday-the-13th films. I haven't seen all of the films, or Freddie vs. Jason, but I do like watching horror from time to time, depending on my DID levels.

Films like Split piss me off because they portray DID as psychopathy, sociopathy, or some ASPD mix. Then again, if multiple personalities include a certain amount of "persecutor alters," I wonder if there are a few people with DID who have one of the three disorders - psychopathy, sociopathy, or ASPD.

I'm rambling here, but I just thought I'd add to the discussion.

Please forgive me for my ignorance, or if anything I say is accidentally offensive.

I'm just curious to know what you all think.

AsPD is the diagnosis and has it's criteria. Psychopathy and sociopathy are sub categories, not official diagnosis. There are additional criteria.

The terms psychopath and sociopath are often synonymous with eachother and the differences, if any, are debated in the psych community.

A psychopath always has AsPD. Someone with AsPD is not necessarily a psychopath.

The movies and media are in general a misrepresentation of these conditions. There is a range in psychopathy from low functioning to high functioning. Some can exist and mask well in society and some can not.

True psychopaths can be hard to identify in real life. They generally wear a solid mask that they have built by watching others. Most are not killers and walk among us undetected.

Of course different personalities are intriguing, but let's nor treat these people like zoo animals. They are simply people dealing with issues like all of us.

Hope that helps a little.