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Member Since Nov 2019
Location: California
Posts: 6
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#1
Last month, I ended a cohabiting relationship with a woman who was diagnosed ADHD and PTSD. She was a very destructive person but I found her fascinating in an endearing way. Part of me felt like I could be good for her and I was single for a few years prior to meeting her. We definitely weren't on the same intellectual level and she suffered from very short-sighted thinking.
I tried to cope with the fact that she was designed this way and I thought of her as a creative project for me. She was on her own path though and it was proven that I wasn't going to change her. I eventually shut myself off as I watched her spiral down into destruction. She got into drugs, bad people and didn't come home half the nights during our last year together. I didn't really care though because I knew we didn't have anything real at that point. I'm a creative person and it is very easy for me to live in my own world. I found out that her life got much worse after we moved away from each other and I suppose maybe I did have good intentions. Anyway, it sucks to lose something but that's life. I've been on a few mobile dating apps to get my mind of things but I don't have any real interest in connecting with boring people on that level right now. There sure are a lot of pretty people to look at but most of them are so underwhelming. Anyway, nice to meet you. This place doesn't seem to get much action but I figure I'll take the opportunity to let loose. Who wants to go on a date? |
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Skeezyks
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
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#2
Thanks for sharing your experience.
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Account Suspended
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 49
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#3
I know what you mean about treating interesting people like experiments. It's really hard to tell sometimes for me whether my "good intentions" are in the right place or not, though. I had to learn to stop trying to shape people into what I wanted them to be, rather than letting them just be themselves. It sounds like you don't have that issue nearly as bad as I did. That's probably for the better. It took me awhile to realize that some people are beyond helping, normally because they don't want help, and that you have to work with what's there rather than change it. You can change it, and I have, but it introduces so many new problems. I'm sorry that they left you bored again, though. People like that can be so engaging and interesting that it's hard to find a replacement. Maybe people with AsPD are more capable of love, though, because they're less judgmental and more task-oriented and accepting. Then again, I'm sure love is one of those words that doesn't really have a concrete meaning, and empaths just use it for whatever they feel like.
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