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Curiosity755
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Default Apr 03, 2020 at 04:24 PM
  #1
I suppose I am wondering how you define your lack of empathy. A lot of interesting perspectives here on empathy. Some people seem to not make sense of it, others seem to view empathy as a farce and a phony behavioral trait of people, others seem to see it as weakness. How do you define the core of your functioning. Do you percieve your functioning traits as mental illness? Do you believe it's a missunderstanding?

As many of you suspect, empathy is difficult to define even for those of us who experience it. (which doesn't necessarily mean it doesn't exist). This board has a very unique, external perspective on empathy and how it plays out behaviorally. I'm wondering what your thoughts are on how "normal" people view you.

Thanks!
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Default Apr 06, 2020 at 01:38 PM
  #2
This is an interesting topic. I'm not sure how much response it will get in the Antisocial Personality forum though. Personally I'm not a deep enough thinker to have much insight into this. I guess I have empathy of a sort. But I'm a recluse. I just want to be left alone. I suppose it's a defense mechanism. Is it a mental illness? I guess so. I don't know. That would be for some mental health professional to determine I suppose. I don't know how "normal" people view me. And I really don't care.

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Default Apr 07, 2020 at 01:39 PM
  #3
the meaning of empathy is simple: The ability to understand another's feelings. I think it is an inborn trait.
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Default Apr 09, 2020 at 12:07 AM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicoleflynn View Post
the meaning of empathy is simple: The ability to understand another's feelings. I think it is an inborn trait.
Actually, it's a bit more than that. Read on:

"Emotional intelligence is commonly defined by four attributes:

1) Self-management – You’re able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.

2) Self-awareness – You recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior. You know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence.

3) Social awareness – You have empathy. You can understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization.

4) Relationship management – You know how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict."
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Default Apr 09, 2020 at 12:50 AM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curiosity755 View Post
.. how you define lack of empathy. I'm wondering what your thoughts are on how "normal" people view..

"Emotional intelligence is commonly defined by four attributes:

1) Self-management – You’re able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.

2) Self-awareness – You recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior. You know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence.

3) Social awareness – You have empathy. You can understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization.

4)Relationship management – You know how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict."

......................................
Ok, so it was addressed by our counselor about her concerns with my partner's EQ. I copied and pasted the 4 criterias and want to answer your question by using my partner as the subject. Refer to the numbers above and how I view him..

#1: Self-management – Impulsive. Speaks before thinking. Erratic. Reactive and emotional. Difficulties in following through with any plan. Inconsistent. Does not like change.

#2: Self-awareness – Reactive and emotional. Low self-esteem but often feels superior to others. Either becomes the "hero" in a given situation, or the "victim". Often comments about being unaware of his behaviours, thus it being "subconsciously" done. Denial. Blame.

#3: Social awareness – Low to no empathy. Often misunderstands emotional scenarios. Decreased ability to understand the emotional needs of others. Actions are centered to self and on the expense of someone else. Socially awkward. Often insults others as a "joke" and believes people think he's a nice/funny guy. Does not care about power dynamics, often trying to assert his own power over someone in a higher positions.

#4 Relationship management – A "one-man" show. Get out of his way as he claims to know best. Competitive and will sabotage others reputation to secure his own standing. Is drawn towards vulnerable people and targets their insecurities/disabilities indirectly but poses as someone who's a "saviour", or "supporter". Deceitful. A liar. Gaslighter.
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Default Apr 19, 2020 at 10:05 AM
  #6
@op. I feel empathy when it comes to someone hitting their thumb with a hammer, for example. I can completely appreciate the amount of physical pain they feel.

When it comes to emotions it is a completely different ball game. To. Cut a story short, I fake it.
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