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Legendary
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#1
Hey, guys. Had some very unpleasant experiences with someone with this disorder. Trying to make some sense of it, so I can move on. Was just wondering if anyone here could tell me what the great fear(s) is/are of folks with this illness. To me, based on my experience, I would say that the thing the person I dealt with fears most is loss of control, above and beyond all else. Am I on any kind of a right track here?
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#2
Here's a link to an article (not in PC's archives) that discusses a bit about what sociopaths fear:
What does the sociopath fear? | Dating a Sociopath __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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bpcyclist, Fuzzybear
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bpcyclist
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#3
Good article. Hugs to you
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bpcyclist
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Legendary
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#4
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Fuzzybear
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Legendary
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#5
Yeah, I would say that article had is about on the money. I would only add that it does remind in some ways quite a bit of what my ex with profound bpd also fears. Loss of control and exposure. with both of those, she would have to possibly face some of the facts she works so incredibly hard to deny the existence of (dissociation). So, APD and BPD do share some features, just in my personal experience. I think they are both afraid of the same basic things.
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#6
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#7
I have NPD with multiple deep seated sociopathic traits and history of several pretty dark sociopathic episodes. I’m working hard with my therapist to get better and I’ve met some significant progress, so it’s easy for me to share now.
It all depends on the reasons behind their disorder. Whether it’s abandonment, abuse, pathological social circle or all combined. We are detached from our emotions. We were not allowed to express our feelings, we don’t know how to cope, so we created our defense system. The bottom line of it is that you can win or you can lose. Something is white or something is black. I have leverage over you or you have leverage over me. Simple and messed up as that. My advice to you is that whatever happened to you don’t take it personally. It’s not about you. It’s about him/her. We truly don’t care about others, we have no empathy, we don’t judge you as a person. We judge you as a reflection of our own insecurities and fears. And usually that APD person has been through a lot and she/he doesn’t know love, understanding or tenderness. However he/she knows ruthlessness, hunger for power, callousness… that’s why it hurts so much. We respond in our own way. We should be avoided at all cost. And it can get worse. Because if you win and you hit that weak spot of ours we become dangerous and trust me there is no line for sociopath in distress. |
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Legendary
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#8
Thanks, MP. Very insightful. What do you think about the possibility of someone with some of these features developing the ability to take the perspective of another. To maybe learn some empathy or something? Is it possible?
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#9
A few years back a prison study was conducted with convicted criminals that all scored high enough on tests to be considered psychopaths and sociopaths. According to the study although not necessarily natural or easy to accomplish, the inmates could empathize when great effort was applied by them. Although if memory serves me correctly the empathy was created entirely in a different part of the brain than that of a neurotypical human being.
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#10
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It’s possible. I did it. I figured out what set my mind the way it is and why this (trauma) happened. I put up with the fact that I pretty much never had anybody who I could call a real parent. It took me years though. Now I’m working on shaping up my real identity and giving up some of really bad habits I developed, such as manipulation and pathological lying. However, make no mistake about my situation. It’s my decision. Nobody could help me before I made it. You can’t help these people. If you tried they could see it as you trying to be superior and either hit you back hard or even worse, play along the poor victim to mess with you or benefit from your attitude in some way. It’s that bad. Picture them as naughty children who have no moral or ethical boundaries with drive towards breaking the law. I strongly believe sociopaths and people with severe APD are one of the biggest threats out there. |
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#11
Right. Got it. Good for you. The person I am thinking of has committed super serious crimes. I would never assist in any prosecution, though I am the victim, because I firmly believe this is a totally legit brain illness. Because it is. Duh
Could prove that in three minutes. No prob. So, faced with prosecution and maybe, oh, a year in prison, say, plus a felony conviction versus agreeing to accept help from legit providers and no legal consequences, what do you imagine the average APDish person might do? Running is not possible in 2020, with cameras everywhere and an e-trail of crumbs from here to Tokyo. Thanks for any guidance. Really appreciate it. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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#12
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A year in prison sounds cool. It's not so long and APD can perceive it as some kind of new ground. He can meet some douchebags there and make his life even darker when he's out. It may not seem the person will have this attitude at the begininng obviously, because its unknown place (prison) and he got caught after all....but after a while that's what I believe is going to happen. People with APD love the dark side. If it's not fatal (like life in prison) they will take advantage of it. They like to be perceived as bad boys. I broke the rules (by that I mean I did things that were very close to breaking the law) few times. Never been caught though. And unfortunately I liked it. That's how it works. A year may not be enough for such person to change. If he's been on the APD journey for 10 years he needs at least 5 to heal, unless he really cares about the treatment - but it's very unlikely... |
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#13
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#14
You’re on the right track. ASPD individuals hate being without power and control.
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