[Michah]

Sweetie, I have pm'ed you in response to your question........speak real soon......

[blacksheep XX]

Originally Posted by Michah

Sweetie, I have pm'ed you in response to your question........speak real soon......

Thanks to all you caring souls who responded to my pain. I still struggle. I struggle between wanting to share with my therapist as a couple of you have recommended I do. But, this is hard for me because there is a big part of me that does NOT want to stop. I know it is because I have been getting away with it for a while now. In fact, I got caught and went to court and stopped for a couple of decades in the past, but since it started again, it's become an addiction that I actually enjoy and feel I "need" as a function of the poor economy and my struggle with finances. Scratch that. It's not true. I don't "need" it. That's just something I tell myself to justify the acts. Actually, it makes me feel good to have the stuff and then I feel bad about myself as a human being. My boyfriend knows and says I must stop. I know he's right. I stopped telling him what I have taken when it ceased being cute. Now I feel lonely with my secret, but equally thrilled when I can save a little money on something. I don't steal expensive things either. Usually food and cosmetics... the type of stores I frequent, and get pissed about the prices and how they add up. I like the feeling that at least I have gotten one item for free.
I don't know where this confession will take me, but thank you all for your empathy and compassion.

Blacksheepxx

[Michah]

Originally Posted by blacksheep XX

Thanks to all you caring souls who responded to my pain. I still struggle. I struggle between wanting to share with my therapist as a couple of you have recommended I do. But, this is hard for me because there is a big part of me that does NOT want to stop. I know it is because I have been getting away with it for a while now. In fact, I got caught and went to court and stopped for a couple of decades in the past, but since it started again, it's become an addiction that I actually enjoy and feel I "need" as a function of the poor economy and my struggle with finances. Scratch that. It's not true. I don't "need" it. That's just something I tell myself to justify the acts. Actually, it makes me feel good to have the stuff and then I feel bad about myself as a human being. My boyfriend knows and says I must stop. I know he's right. I stopped telling him what I have taken when it ceased being cute. Now I feel lonely with my secret, but equally thrilled when I can save a little money on something. I don't steal expensive things either. Usually food and cosmetics... the type of stores I frequent, and get pissed about the prices and how they add up. I like the feeling that at least I have gotten one item for free.
I don't know where this confession will take me, but thank you all for your empathy and compassion.

Blacksheepxx

Sweetie, sorry I was responding to something roxyanne asked.......but can pm you if you like!! Good. You are on the right path........you will discuss it with your T when you are ready. Maybe if you radically accept it, the consequences as well, you will be more prepared to talk about it at a time that suits. Your post is not a confession, you are not asking for absolution, you don't need to......more that you are seeking unconditional support in your process.......and you have it. We are here........