[hereiam]

Okay, this weekend has been anxiety-filled for me (for no particular reason) and I had been looking forward to coming home after staying over a friends house the night before. Well, when I get home it's Sunday night and I'm looking forward to getting in my PJ's, settling down, turning on Desperate Housewives and studying for an upcoming test. Now, one of my biggest irrational fears is that someone will be in my backyard and like, bang on my window or try to get in. Just basically that someone will be back there that shouldn't be and try to get into my house through my windows. Another thing is everything I hear a plane I think it might crash, or if I hear a helicopter I think the same thing or that it's chasing someone - and that someone will end up in my backyard trying to get in my house (I'm just realizing how stupid this all sounds now that I'm typing it out...).

Well, last night, while I'm relaxing in my room around 12ish, something/someone BANGS on my window. Just one, loud, forceful bang and ya'll wouldn't believe how much I freaked. I had never felt that kinda fear before. At first I just froze, thinking that someone was out there and banged on my window. Then (all within seconds) I thought about how they might be trying to break in, or they have a gun and might start randomly shooting and crap like that. I flipped out and stumbled my way across my room and into my sisters room - startled and shaken. My sister said she had heard it too. I couldnt stop shaking for atleast an hour, my heart was racing, and I refused to sleep in my room or be away from my sister the rest of the night. I couldn't sleep (kept thinking I was hearing things) and only went back into my room when it was daylight again.

I don't know why I'm telling everyone this. It just scared the living hell out of me and now I know it's going to be long time before I can sleep in my room again without thinking someones outside, which was a HUGE fear of mine to begin with. Sigh.

[silver_queen]

((((((((((((yesitsme)))))))))))))