My son is perfect - BY NO MEANS
But he is ALWAYS there for his family.
His wife is pregnant with their third child

They have a history of verbal abuse toward one another.
She is always telling him to get out.
She hit him with the computer key board

Yet everything they have he has BUILT or bought

He has always had the higher paying job
But - cannot work due to going into surgery on his wrist for a second time

She uses both those things against him in their verbal disbutes.

After 7 years she confided in he about a month ago.
I found out things are not one sided.
He has areas to work on

BUT he is in Michigan with ALL her family.

He does ALL the BUILDING adds, ons, remodeling of ALL the family member with NO pay.
He is constanlty working. Even when he had a job he still worked into the night on others houses.

They would have someone else do the job AND pay for it - BUT no one does the quality of work he does.

He had a pending case against his job quite a bit ago, which costs him the use of his hand. He couldn't even lift his kids up.
They finally gave his a settlement of $82,000.00.
It's gone. He bought wife a brand new van, paid off this that.....

She told him to get out after the money was gone -
He told her that's pretty confienant now that the moneys all gone.
He wanted to get himself a truck he wasn't even able to do that.

He's always been a VERY handsome man - most of his troubles became of that growing up with hormones.

Now he wears glasses and is losing most of this hair - I told him do to stress... he just doesn't care anymore. He has NO self-esteem. NONE

He ended up not using protection and has beside his three, three others, of which he supports.

Yes it has messed up alot of the marriage
BUT it was prior to -

He didn't even find out about them until they were married.
NOT a good start.

They've been married 7 years - August.

She has a very big family - So whenever somethings going on between them she tell EVERYONE.

The continue to use him to do work at there houses, with no pay -
SMILE in his face, DOG him behind.

He is not one not for confrontation. He said he has no one to talk to.
Her family is really big - so it's always what she say's.

ANYWAY - i talked to him for a moment - I can always tell by his voice - he didn't want to talk - I told him I would be an ear.

WELL my ear fell on falling words -
HE IS TIRED, HE IS DONE,

He has tried before - ended up in E.R. as an adult - with her.

When he was six years old he said "I'm going to k... myself".

I don't know where that came from -
his life growing up was not a fairy tale.

A mother of 16 raising a boy, who was not taught how to raise a child, nor how to love them with inspiring word.

Due to my SEXUALLY ABUSE I didn't know how to hug - it felt terrible to me. I had to learn how to hug my son, poor thing would ask for a hug....

Make me feel like a low lower than a dog, of which I speak highly of animals.

That's why I have NO mother,,, she ruined me and my sisters lifes we tried to correct that with our children - BUT OBVIOUSLY IT DIDN'T WORK

My two children are my life - I am here and STAY ONLY That they know SOMEONE LOVES THEM, as I DID NOT - ever.

This is tearing my already guilt into shreads....by guilt for failing.

So it's like this I am here ONLY for my two children 31 & 23.

If anything thing occurs - That are words I cannot say one here...
I will immediatley be there NOT HERE TOO -1- second later. No doubt no thought behind it!

I wanted to call his wife - But that isn't what I feel I should do - It's not my place and I don't know everything.

MY insides are in a very big anxiety mode and I fear terribly, I am even shaking.

SIGNED - HOPELESSLY LESS THAN

[*freak*]

I'm sorry for what your son's going through... for what YOU're going through... I don't have any advice, I just wanted to let you know I care... and I would be very sorry if you wouldn't be here
Please, take care of yourself

Originally Posted by *freak*

I'm sorry for what your son's going through... for what YOU're going through... I don't have any advice, I just wanted to let you know I care... and I would be very sorry if you wouldn't be here
Please, take care of yourself

You answered for immediately - I am shocked, thank you....
I take your words with sincerity - It shall not be forgetting.

[lynn P.]

(((( Starlite))))
I'm glad you feel comfortable sharing your feelings here with us. It always hard when you see your child in pain no matter how old they are. I think your son should consider getting out of that marriage. He should also learn the ART of 'saying NO' to his extended family or anyone - 1 or 2 favors is okay but to always take advantage and have him do work for free - that's wrong!! He needs to think about himself and be assertive. Sorry you're feeling troubled. like this.

Originally Posted by lynn P.

(((( Starlite))))
I'm glad you feel comfortable sharing your feelings here with us. It always hard when you see your child in pain no matter how old they are. I think your son should consider getting out of that marriage. He should also learn the ART of 'saying NO' to his extended family or anyone - 1 or 2 favors is okay but to always take advantage and have him do work for free - that's wrong!! He needs to think about himself and be assertive. Sorry you're feeling troubled. like this.

I agreed totally -

BUT - he says he loves her to death
And as I see it - it will be the death of himself

Also the children he not only works but raises the children and tends to the house. Their son is ADHD - so SHE CAN NOT HANDLE him.
They're lovely grand children.

SO WITHOUT THEM HE IS NOTHING - HE SAYS and I never doubt my Son, he does not say IDLE words.

I am so very very scared - NEVER felt this scared before.. there have been times with him - BUT NEVER to this extreme

[lynn P.]

Has your son and his wife ever received counselling? It's sounds like your son needs to learn how to stick up for himself. Love shouldn't cause pain like this so he may be addicted to this woman.

[susan888]

((((Starlite))))

When our children hurt, no matter how old we hurt with them.

Is he in therapy or would he be open to talking to someone? My 25 year old was going through a really bad time the last 6 mos and I was very concerned about her emotional state. She agreed that she was having very bad thoughts and did go to her Pdoc and get on some meds. Also just had an initiial appt with a therapist. She has been taking the meds for about a month and I can see a big difference already!

You and your son are in my thoughts!

Originally Posted by lynn P.

Has your son and his wife ever received counselling? It's sounds like your son needs to learn how to stick up for himself. Love shouldn't cause pain like this so he may be addicted to this woman.

Addicted I believe is a good word.

Counsling no I asked before when she contacted me.

I think as I had him I WANTED SOMEONE TO LOVE

Maybe that's what he's doing, why he stays.........

I don't know but I am so scared....

THIS IS NOT THE usual me - I have lost it

Originally Posted by susan888

((((Starlite))))

When our children hurt, no matter how old we hurt with them.

Is he in therapy or would he be open to talking to someone? My 25 year old was going through a really bad time the last 6 mos and I was very concerned about her emotional state. She agreed that she was having very bad thoughts and did go to her Pdoc and get on some meds. Also just had an initiial appt with a therapist. She has been taking the meds for about a month and I can see a big difference already!

You and your son are in my thoughts!

My Son DOES need medication. He attempted once didn't like how it made him feel. I strongly believe he is Bipolar with other issues of course.

It's worst than hurt. i know i've always wanted to run and fix their lifes for them, of course it wasn't allowed.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

(starlight)))))))))))))))))))))))))) Im so sorry your son is having such a hard time. It is so hard being a mom and watching your children at no matter what age going threw this kind of thing. CAn you try as it sounds like he listens to you getting him to go for help.
It sounds like the 2 of them need a time out from each other imo
abuse on eaither side is abuse, Woman do abuse men. And i am sure its hard on your son. Please see if you can talk to him . I know you have tryed.
Also is there someone you can call to talk too.
My heart is with you . its so hard when our kids hurt.
Please know i care

[Rohag]

Oh, Starlite, I had no idea... This makes your care for all around you all the more astounding. You and your son are in my thoughts.

I shall always be there for my boy....thank God he does call me and immediately I here in his voice somethings wrong.
I should be grateful and blessed that he does reach out to me.

Yes, he made it through the day - But it almost killed me.

Thank all of you - I'm so sorry when I freak out on here

[northern]

Sometimes we just need to step back and let them make their own mistakes. We as parents can only be there to pick up the pieces. Just in IMO!

I got a text mail last night from his wife - didn't deal with it until early a.m.

Wife wrote"he has to get out a.s.a.p."

I responded
"u 2 need counseling. Some people stay for the kids. It's ugliness out there to fill their minds. u 2 r grown.
"my door is always opened always xoxoxoxo

I stayed in bed all day - OH

While all this is going on she's driving my Son BACK FROM SURGERY - he sounded like he was going to cry he was in so much pain... but she just keeps on going -

Can't we stop the energize Bunny

Thanx everyone

[jerrymichele]

Would it be possible for you son to come stay at your house for a little bit? I would have went off on her.

[thunderbear]

Starlite

I have no advice. Just hugs for you and your son. He sounds like he has the same problem I do. Hard time telling people no. And letting people use him. He sounds like a really nice man and shame on all those people using that to get what they want from him.

I texted them both and said "my door is always open, always"

I texted him today and said "I wish I could take away all your pain - that all mothers do"

I did personal tell him my house could be a revolving door for him from here to Michgian to deal with his kids. I told him he is responsible, doesn't drink or do drugs.... so my house is open..........

[Lost71]

((((((((starlite))))))))

Hun, this is so much to be going through. I don't know what to say except I hope he finds the courage soon to do what is right for him and the kids.

My thoughts and wishes are with you all, hun!

[Rmdctc]

Sounds like he needs to leave her and get himself some meds and help. Hope things get better!

[jerrymichele]

Originally Posted by Rmdctc

Sounds like he needs to leave her and get himself some meds and help. Hope things get better!

Star I agree with this.

Hello friends,

Today I decided to take care of myself.

I told them they are grown, so I must cut the ambilacord as well.....

[Lost71]

((((((((starlite)))))))) sorry I just noticed this but...Good for you, hun!