[Persie]

Hi,

I have dealt with a lot of my issues and feeling better these days but I still have a problem with going out, particularly with places like restaurants. I want to form more friendships and find a life partner, but that is hard when I am freaked out about going out. I can do it, but it is through sheer will-power and because of that, I just don't enjoy myself and feel so much relief when the experience is over that it re-affirms the social phobia.

I can talk with doctors, shop owners, authorities, etc, no problems there. I can go out to the shops, although there is slight uncomfortableness there. I can go to a friend's house, but it starts getting harder here. Going out at night, very hard. Going out at night and to a restaurant with a friend, very, very hard, easier if my family is there. Going out with a guy, impossible, I am going to end up feeling so sick that I won't sleep for days, and start to get physically sick and that doesn't matter if I like him a little or a lot.

I am trying to figure out a way, not just to control the anxiety, but actually look past it towards enjoying my time with people. For me, people other than my family are threatening to various degrees.

Any advice, or perhaps share your story?

[VickiesPath]

Hi Persie,

If you look up at the top of this forum page, there is a brown menu including a topic called Resources. That will lead you eventually to a section that includes many topics on Social Anxiety. It includes chat groups, research articles and support topics that might offer some suggestions on ways for you to get help in dealing with this issue.

I wish you the best. Please keep us informed on your progress.

Facing your fear as you have is a great start. When you are out, confirm that you may be uncomfortable but not in any danger. Recognize that your fears may at the very least be overstated if not unfounded. When your adventure is over, reward yourself for your success. Doing something so difficult is not an affirmation of can't but of CAN!

Take little steps to gain confidence. Each time confirm that you are not in any danger. Remember to breath. Sometimes you really have to fight for what you want. You are a warrior. You can do this. Good luck!

[CaptainKidd]

I suffer similar problems.

The only thing that helps me is if I can be with someone who knows I suffer from this problem. With their help I can often manage better. Having someone in the moment who knows I am struggling and is on my side is important.

The drawbacks to this are plain. First, it's not always easy to recruit someone like this. It is a taxing position. Plus, they have to be emotionally close to you. Second, it's not always possible for them to shepherd you though. Being left alone is often extremely problematic for me. In addition, many (maybe most) situations you won't have that person at all.

I suppose another thing that has been generally helpful is being more open with people I will be with about my anxiety problems. Getting people on board to help is often times worth the wounds to my pride.

Good luck to both of you.

[Princess Butterfly]

I'm the same.
But i must advise to try not avoid things.The more you avoid things the worse they get.
I cant do any of those things got to the point where i never stepped out the house.
I now have a support worker and gradually we are able to go out together once a week.
its a long process and your write it takes alot of willpower.
try bit by bit.for example: Go up to your garden gate every day then venture a bit further the next week.Eventually things will be able to be enjoyed.
A therapist may help but what i find helpful for me is my support worker who visits me weekly and takes me out the house.

wishing you the best