[veggy]

does anybody feel like they can only manage to do one thing each day?

i have to go to a short meeting tomorrow to do paperwork for my new part time job, and it's like... that is all i can do. if i had two appointments that day, i'd feel unable to do the other.

if i have to go see my doctor and go to the store, i have to go to the store the next day, not the same day. i just can't manage it.

my dad found this place with counseling or something like that, but my experience was so bad i just felt too anxious to call the number he gave me to talk to the guy there in admissions.

[Yoda]

yes, getting things done, even simple things, is a big problem with me. Like I sold a model horse online a week ago but it took me a week to get to the post office to find out what the cost of shipping would be; I think I may have pissed of the seller. And I have been out of meds for a few days but cannot find the energy to drive to the pharmacy. Right now I am hungry but I cannot pull myself together enough to get into the car and drive three miles to get a fast food sandwich.

If you figure out how to solve this please let me know because it is a big struggle for me. I have no energy. In my head I have aspirations but I can't follow through with behaviors.

Procrastination help was what I was searching for when I found Psychcentral over three years ago. How long has this been a problem for you?

[veggy]

it's only been a problem for me since my overdose in december. i was really social and loved going shopping before. but since the boy i was going to marry snapped and cut me out of his life and i overdosed, i've had nasty panic attacks and can't control my anxiety no matter how many meds i take.

i wish i had answers for it. my mother just considers me lazy now, and it's really frustrating.

[Yoda]

Are you on any new meds? Thinking maybe it could be a med side effect?

[veggy]

no, i wasn't on anything before that. i didn't realize i had the anxiety problem, i thought i was just bad at dealing with things compared to other people and it couldn't be helped.

[Yoda]

Well you are certainly under a lot of stress right now with the relationship problem with your boyfriend. How long ago did you and he start dating? Wondering if perhaps you are having some flavor of PTSD or not.

[veggy]

we started back in may, and as work started to ruin our plans, he started getting worse and worse.

i just posted about him on the combat ptsd section actually.

[Yoda]

It would be good if you could get an appt with a therapist but I understand how stressful that would be. Still it might help you to understand yourself a bit better. It is a shame that he has cut off all communication. That must be very difficult for you.

[veggy]

i wouldn't be so upset over things if he had a reason to do it.. like if we fought or just didn't get along in general... but no, the last things from him were asking me to live with him, picking out a baby name and his last words before he snapped were "i love you. sweet dreams"

/sigh