[WendyAussie]

I have been posting about anxiety about an upcoming several days of the on-campus part of a University course I am starting. I had a long previous career in another field for which I have three tertiary qualifications, but I can't do that work anymore because of my illnesses - I tried to go back to it last year but had to resign. The couse was to be three hours drive away, was to be 9.00am to 5.00pm this Friday, Saturday and Sunday (intensive), has taken months to get organised (since December) with all aspects of the Uni that needed to be in place (they are incredibly disorganised and hard to mobilise), several disability needs of mine to be addressed and SOOOO much work with my mental health team (I have Bipolar, panic and anxiety and am a sober alcoholic) to deal with fears, frustrations, physical and other preparations.

I was to drive there tomorrow. Well, out of the air, today I receive an email to say its all cancelled - an email rather than a phone call - I could easily have not looked at my email and gone there tomorrow. I understand things get cancelled - that's life, but the way it was handled was so ridiculous and unprofessional. I sent them an angry (but not crazy and no swearing) email and followed up, letting them know I don't think their handling of it was great and that they have made a mess in terms of addressing my disability issues. I specifically spoke to the Disability Liaison manager about it too.

I went into complete panic and disorientation. I'm trying to move forward with my life and I am a really proactive person but there truly seem to be so many obstacles in my way. I know I have to be mature, and flexible and accept that things won't always go my way, but hey this Uni thing has been so much hard work and preparation. I rang one of my AA contacts in the town I am in, a woman in her 70's and I said June, can i please vent and can I swear? She said Yes, and I let it rip, I really got it all out. And then this afternoon I have spent an hour or two in bed with the cat, just quietly meditating, over and over and over, and that is helping (Oh and Valium too!! lol)

((((((((( WendyAussie ))))))))))