[feddy]

Too many triggers today and my anxiety is at the max. I keep fighting off panic attacks...I start to hyperventilate, the tears start, I try to practice breathing techniques, calming myself down by thinking through why I am getting so anxious. So far I haven't had a full attack, but I have had several mini ones. I gave in about a half hour ago and took an atavin and finally feel myself calming down. Why didn't I do that earlier? Well, trigger # 1...big job interview this afternoon that was very important to me, major source of anxiety (good anxiety) on a normal day, but it GOT RESCHEUDLED 10 minutes before it was supposed to start. So I couldn't take atavin because I needed my mind be clear. So wasn't it a total kick in the teeth when it got rescheduled??? Trigger #2 - hubby left this morning for a week of business travel. Another major source of anxiety for me. He is my rock and not having him around to support me is always tough. Trigger #3 - my sister is getting married this weekend. A very exciting time, but also a tremendous source of stress and anxiety. Trigger #4 - my cat had surgery last weekend and has been struggling to recover. She is in isolation, it has cost far more than we anticipated with the extra medication she requires and I need to take her to the vet daily for check ups. All of that is stressful yes, but the most awful part is seeing her in pain and having to force feed her medication twice a day. It is killing me -she makes these awful pain sounds sometimes and I just want to cry. Trigger #5 - had a DIFFERENT job interview Thursday for a role that is awesome on paper and they gave me a TON of take aways to prepare for my next interview (later this week.) I am struggling to get all the work done with everything else going on in my life and it is causing me MAJOR anxiety. And I need to do really well because my current job just happens to be Trigger #6. It is a constant, complete source of anxiety. I find no joy whatsoever in my current work environment and am doing everything I can to find a new role. Every day I have to go to the office I fight off anxiety and panic. (My next shift is tomorrow.) My pdoc is working with me on cognitive behavioural therapy to change my approach to the office as it was a major trigger in my depression but we still have a long way to go. He supports my search for a new job but also is insistent that I stay the course in returning to work until I find another role.

And all of this has set off my IBS so now my stomach is upset and I am struggling to keep down food. To top everything off, I can't even see my pdoc this week because of the wedding so...recap. No hubby to talk to, no pdoc to help me work it out. I feel alone and so anxious and I feel like I'm about to go CRAZY.

I just need this anxiety to calm down. The atavin is helping but my mind is still whirling. I can't stop thinking of everything I need to do and everything that I haven't yet got done. There are lists in my head and they are making me insane. This little voice saying you can't sit still...don't take a break...you have to do this and that and this and that and this and that...STOP!!!!!!! Need to breathe and relax. But I can't remember how right now.

[rartemis]

Your recognizing it for what it is. Thoughts and axiety and only that. I have the same battles myself.

One counsellor taught me to focus on my breath just as a kind of medication. Really noticing the inhale and how it feels, and the exhale. I also do my best to try to notice a "break in the clouds" so to speak. Notice when the anxiety has lessened for even a short time.

Easy does it.

Sorry all of this is happening, feddy.

[Handre]

Hey Feddy,

sorry to hear it is all so hectic for you at the moment. Why not try to break down and list all of the things which you feel are affecting you and what needs to be done and then priorotize them from most important to least important.

Then tackle them one at a time, only moving on when you have managed to complete one of them. I find this helps.

Hope the kitty is alright and all strength and goodwill to you! Be strong and remember, you are not alone!

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello feddy,

hoping things have settled for you, the breathing advice really is good advice...

[sanityseeker]

Hi feddy... how are you doing? I know how tough it can be when one trigger on top of another keeps stretching you capacity to cope. I hope you have been able to slow things down a little.

Did you have the second job interview yet? How did it go?

A few things I do to cope with the anxiety triggers that have reduced the length and effect of the attacks the last little while include spending time in my garden just taking in the beauty and the fragrances. Using my garden as a source of meditation to help me focus on my breathing. Breathing my way through the feelings of anxiety is so important no matter what. As the anxiety builds we need to really start to focus on our breathing and make sure it is from the belly and long. Often when faced with anxiety our breathing gets really short and shallow from the chest, almost non existant. Tell yourself to breath and focus only on your breathing until you feel yourself start to calm down.

I have found lately that physcial activity is a good anxiety buster too. I was being triggered left and right the other day. I was so far gone with it that the garden wasn't helping. Smelling the lillies wasn't helping. As tired and drained as I was feeling physically from the anxiety I decided to pull out the lawn mower and cut the grass. A couple of hours later I was free of all the anxiety that had me tied up really tight before then.

Today I was experiencing trigger after trigger and for the most part breathing helped me level it out for a while but after a few too many triggers it had me wanted to either crumble in tears or rage in furry. I evevntually took myself for a walk into a nearby forest area and to a spot on the river where I just watched and got lost in the sounds of the river rushing over the rocks. I spent time in the forest on the way home just listening to the birds while I sat on a stump with my eyes closed.

I guess I am coming to terms with the constancy of anxiety triggers. I think I know that I have to take them seriously and treat them accordingly. I can't let them build. I have to cut them off as soon as I can one way or another. Breathing is the first defense. Then it is about taking myself into a different state that separates me from the trigger's effect. Talking my way through whatever it is I am doing while breathing deep and steady from the belly.

You can work your way through the effects of the triggers feddy. Trust your instincts once you acknowledge the anxiety and determine to bring it down.

I wish you well. The more times you succeed the more confident you become that you can face each new trigger with a counter attack. The anxiety can pass with your help and your conscious focus on bringing it down. Breath deep and breath long and then do whatever you can think of to embrace a state of calm.

[feddy]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and great advice. I did make a list and found myself feeling better as each thing got accomplished. I also found everyone's advice on breathing very helpful and will try and remember and use it the next time I find myself so overwhelmed.

I wanted to let you know that I am feeling so much better. I have gotten so much accomplished this week, much to my own surprise. Each time something was finished, a bit of my anxiety lifted and now I am left feeling almost relaxed!!! I didn't make all of my shifts at work this week and that's okay - I decided to be selfish with so much going on and when I felt too tired or overwhelmed, I didn't go to work. I also had a massage mid week to help me relax, definitely a good idea. Hubby comes home today, soooo excited to see him. He is proud of me for everything I have done on my own in his absence. Guess I am stronger than I thought. Kitty is getting better too...she is purring again and the vet is giving us the thumbs up. We have our last daily check up this afternoon and hopefully she can come out of isolation very, very soon. I am ready for my sister's wedding. I am MCing and my anecdotes are ready and I am all set to ham it up on the mic (I love being on stage and am known to my family and friends for my MCing of events.) I got all the work done for the interview, kicked @$$ AND...have moved forward and have gotten 2nd interviews with ALL 3 JOBS I am interviewing for!!! What a necessary boost to my self-esteem.

So, suffice it to say that all of the anxiety, stress, and difficulties that started off this terrible week have turned around and at the end of the day, the only things left on my to do list are buying jewelry to wear with my dress and getting a mani-pedi andn then showing up for the wedding. All of those things happen to be fun so no more stress.

Thank you for your genuine concern and compassion and support. You are all amazing people.

Feddy

[sanityseeker]

Awesome news Feddy. What a wonder turn of events. You mastered over it all one step at a time. Well done!

Have a wonderful time at the wedding and good luck with the job interviews. Sounds like you and hubby are going to have a pretty fine reunion too. lol.

Keep well.

[sanityseeker]

Check out Feddy's victory over a week of multiple anxiety triggers. Its pretty inspirational. I know your stories are different but her stories testifies the value of learning and practising coping skills that can help us get to the other side of anxiety. We each have to find what works best for us but universal is the lesson that focused self care is critical to recovery. You can get there too.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=147981

[rartemis]

Way to go Feddy!!