[geez]

My husband today put a deposit down on a motorcycle.

Background: My husband doesn't do anything for a hobby. He never leaves the house (except for to run an errand) and for work he has an at home office. I have been telling him to get a hobby of sorts to get out of the house and enjoy himself (for a couple of years now). He has anxiety and needs to relax more.

Situation:
Today I went with my husband to look at a Harley and I've supported him all the way with this interest of his. It's not cheap but he never does ANYTHING for himself and I want to be supportive and encouraging. We can 'afford it' sort of. Personally I think it's a lot to spend when we have two kids - college savings etc...(in addition to being scared of how unsafe they are if he is hit by a car etc..)and I have never looked to spend that much ever on a 'toy' or hobby however like I said he does NOTHING for himself. - Everything is for the kids.

When we got home from the dealership about 10minutes went buy and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I started crying as this wave of fear overcame me. All I could/can think about is him getting into a fatal accident and I end up alone. Alone to raise our two young boys. Just alone and abandoned. He sees how upset this is making me and told me that he would call the dealership and ask for the deposit back and cancel the purchase. A part of me would love for him to not go through with this however I don't want him to resent me because of my fears and I don't want him to give up his sense of enjoyment in this new endeavor. He was beaming when we left the dealership. He also said he has always wanted a motorcycle but always listened to his moms concerns (she's a nurse and has seen many a people seriously injured from being in an accident on a motorcycle) - so he never got a motorcycle until now at age 40.

Thanks for listening. What would you do? Support the purchase or ask him to cancel the purchase?

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello ((((geez))))

My parter rode a Harley motocycle for over 30 years, yes he came off it, yes he had accidents but not one caused by dangerous riding. And he hasn't been in hospital since he was born.

I understand your fears and concerns but please have some faith in your husband. If he is the one looking out for cars that refuse to look out for riders then he is safer on his motorcycle...Theres nothing like riding on a warm sunny day...I miss that...

I do feel for you hon, and I hope you can come to some agreement that keeps you both ok

[DavePanic]

I rode bikes for many years and it was one of my only escapes to freedom. There is nothing quite as fun and liberating as going for a nice out ride with a friend or partner. I personally think bikes are safer than cars, but that is just my opinion.

As long as he is a responsible biker and learns to think for the others on the road around him he will be fine and you should both get a lot of enjoyment out of the bike.

As to what you should do, I can not help as it is your own choice, all I can offer is my experiences as a biker.

[geez]

Hi DavePanic and Rhiannonmom.

Thank you very much for your posts.
I will never get on a motorcycle for fear of getting hurt and I don't want to risk that with two young children. BUT Maybe just maybe someday when I don't have my kids to worry about perhaps I'll get my own Harley

After my emotional crash I called my T and discussed it with her in addition to my husband. I don't want to be apart of riding on a motorcycle however I will support my husband. He's a 'nerd' about things and I know would be very conscientious about safety. In short he purchased the bike today along with the gear.

My fear/anxiety is a little less today but I'm sure that will comeback when the bike is actually here. I will deal with it. I don't want my fears to get in the way of him doing something he will love.

Thanks for listening

You are a very caring person, geez. I wish you and your husband the best.