[lone_twin4]

... Because I'm going to be on an aeroplane.

I've flown before, but not for 10 years. I really loved it! However, since 9/11 I have worked myself up into some kind of fear frenzy. But now I have the opportunity to realise a dream and go travelling over America. This has been in planning for about 2 years, I booked the flights a few months ago and have not lived a day since where I didn't think of them.

I am so frightened! I am not sure I will even be able to get on the plane! I don't have a problem with turbulence (I understand how that works), or the temperature or the pressure or mechanical malfunctions or anything... but I have this 'instinct' that something will go wrong and I will die. Everything I do has acquired a new clarity. I find myself thinking 'for the last time' every time I do something ('I'm going to wear these shoes today!... for the last time'). It's bringing out my old OCD tendencies and I don't know how the hell I'm going to be able to say bye to my parents when they take me to the airport.

The height doesn't frighten me either, but the isolation does. Planes look so tiny up above... that frightens me and I can't explain why. It's the same with balloons (especially ones that small kids let go and that float up to the moon). I've been losing sleep, and more recently I think of everything as meaningless. I know I have to - and will - get on the plane but my, I'm so frightened. I wrote a will and told my best friend my funeral plans! I've looked up all the info, I've told my flight company about being afraid, I understand aerodynamics, the route, pilot training, what an emergency landing entails etc... the only thing I want to do now is get drunk on the plane and sleep it off, haha.

I would just love some reassurance... coping techniques... anything please! I'm afraid of having a panic attack on the plane or just running away Marge Simpson style, or shouting about filanges.

[anans_i]

i totally feel for you - i hate flying. the last time i flew was on the way back from my honeymoon, as my husband arranged for us to get the train there, so any flying would be minimal. i think what makes it worse is all the hanging around at the airport beforehand and the heavy-handed security - all of which gives you much more time to get worked up about it - do you find that?

i find the things that help me are:

- distract yourself as much as you can whenever you think of it
- make sure you have with you something to distract yourself leading up to and on the flight, like a favourite book (trashy as you like, it's your comfort so do whatever you need)
- i find that if i am with someone, just giving them a heads up so they can hold your hand or something is good (even a flight attendant - i was on a hideous flight back from greece a few years back and the flight attendant was really good)
- if you're not with anyone, maybe just try and strike up a conversation with the person next to you, just really mundane stuff, and if they are a comfortable flier it will make you more comfortable as you can be reassured by their calmness
- also be reassured by the people around you. they are not freaking out so take comfort from them, nobody will be able to tell that you are nervous so you can privately worry (if you feel that it would be embarrassing)
- try and breathe! it's the hardest thing but i kept having to remind myself. i basically clenched my way all the way through the last flight i took, but it was an amazing feeling when we hit ground again. i was so excited and it was so nice to be home. i think it helped that i could tell myself that it wasn't going to last forever, that in three hours time i would be on the ground, and i could have a drink and relax.
- also remember how many flights happen every day, and how many people get on and off them without a care. if it was that dangerous or terrifying, no-one would be doing it.

i hope that some of that helped and i hope you enjoy your trip - try and focus on all the lovely things that you are going to do and what you will be able to share with your friends when you get back. x

[feary]

Flying is very safe.

Look outside at the view, do a crossword, talk to others, listen to music, read

When I flew, and had a fear of flying, I would look at the other passengers, children, older people, all who were not afraid.

I would look at families, children, individuals, older people and also think the Higher Power would not allow them to die on this flight and that it is not likely that it will be their time

I also think if it did crash I will not be alone because all the other people will be with me and then I also thought that it will be over quick and there is nothing I can do so just enjoy the last moments

And what is the likelihood that the one flight you are on will crash out of the tens of thousands of flights that will be going on the same day

I eventually lost all fear of flying and actually would be excited and looked forward to flights and enjoyed every minute

Please don't worry and just relax, have some wine and enjoy the flight!

[Soul Quake]

Try to stay in the moment. Your thoughts are preoccupied with what -might- happen not what is -actually- happening. When you walk through the gate, do that and nothing else. You're fine, all you're doing is walking. You're not on the plane yet. When you enter, stow the bag(s), sit down, and don't contemplate the take off or the flight ahead. You are simply getting comfortable. Deal with one occurrence at a time - the here and now.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

((((lone twin))))

I hear you and I am totally with you. I am petrified of planes and every time I get on a plane I think I'll never see my loved ones again. I've managed to fly domestic a few more times only one international flight but that was before I dreamed of 9/11 and saw it happening.

Now my aim is to get to the UK to see my Grand(mothers) grave and spend time there, go to see her old house and a couple of other places (Avalon a must) but I will make that flight and I will do it even if I hurl all the way or take 10 xanax and sleep all the way... From that point I will have really challenged the agoraphobia, anxiety panic and fear of flying....and I should be able to fight it with more power...

So good on ya for doing this....get strong...have a great trip...

Rhiannon

[sunsetsunrise]

Lonetwin I too have fear of flying. I used to love flying. But that was a very long time ago. Recently I have been doing a lot of meridian tapping. The most commonly known meridian tapping is called EFT. People tap on accupuncture points while saying specific things to release old fear, trauma, pain etc. It runs the gammet. could even be used for addictions. I read one report of a woman doing it for brain damage. She found it very successful. Anyway, if you are intersted I did google search for: youtube EFT tapping fear of flying and came up with some tapping videos for that. They are short. I clicked on the first video. a Brittish woman was doing it. You would do it with her. Thats how the tapping videos work. If you chose to do it you could say the words the person is saying. Meridian tapping does not appeal to all people. But I have known many who it does appeal to. I hope its okay to suggest here that someone google. I just have heard of very good results for people when they tap. I do it myself every day. Sending very best to you. What a wonderful and courageous thing you are doing !!!!!

[ECHOES]

If you have time and it's convenient, you might go to the airport and watch the people coming and going, watch the planes coming and going. See the normal daily routine that happens every day all over the world.

Project your thoughts from the flight to your destination. Think about arriving, about the exciting adventure you have planned for yourself, the one place you can't wait to get to!! Now, before, and during the flight: enjoy your travel plans and brochures
Begin a travel diary (there are some online) and plan to update that as you near your departure and as you are travelling

You feel scared. Just say that matter of factly to yourself when the feeling comes. "Oh, there it is again. I'm feeling scared." Accept it without giving it any power.

What a fantastic trip you are giving yourself!! I hope you have a fascinating and fun time and take home many wonderful memories!

[lone_twin4]

Thanks so much all of you! I read your replies but have only just got the time to respond. I thought about your posts on the plane and it comforted me to know there are plenty of other people in the same boat (figuratively...). Luckily I was flying with a friend, who maybe got a bit fed-up of me but was really nice at explaining all the different noises, etc. I also treated myself to some trashy magazines, did breathing... also, I do live near an airport so I went there and watched some planes. I especially enjoyed watching the ones that were landing!

But I got here! I'm in America and my 'instinct' was totally wrong (apart from a very long delay). Now I only have to worry about the flight back, but will definitely practise all this stuff again including meridian tapping... and sleeping pills if needs be!

And I'm wishing you all my good luck for your trip, Rhiannonsmoon! And all you other fearful fliers ((o)) x