[drytherain]

I've always had issues with physical contact of any kind. Something as simple as a friend touching my shoulder makes me want to freak out. I even have problems with being touched by close family members. I'm very close to my older sister, she knows everything about me, and can't stand even her touching me. I feel like a totally defective human being. Touch seems like such an important part of being human and I feel so distant from everybody. I want so bad to be normal. I really want to be in a relationship, wich seems impossible for me right now. I've had a couple of boyfreinds but the" relationships" ended quickly when I couldn't stand them touching me. Kissing was miserably awkward and when they tried to take it further I just wanted to cry I was so uncomfortable and scared. I feel like such a freak. I'm turning 20 in a few months, I want to have a life! I really don't know what to do. I'm afraid to even talk about it. I want to talk to some one but I can't get up enough courage to share my problem with anyone.

Welcome to the Community, drytherain. I am sorry about how hard everything is for you now. Is professional help an option for you.

You are in my thoughts. Good luck.

[with or without you]

I have a problem with touching as well...I have been working on it for a long time. The only thing I can suggest is the same thing as Byzantine...talk to a professional.

[Can't Stop Crying]

I am phobic of touch too. It is hard to overcome...start slow with someone you trust. A pat on the back, a handshake, etc.

[banana.nikitina]

I have a problem with touching too, and i'm a 20 year old girl :-)
So I hear ya
I would recommend proffesional help, because everyone's a unique individual, and what helps me, might not work for you, so a specialist might understand how to help you better.
What I found helpful though, is starting small, like touching arms or sitting a little bit closer than you want to, and you need to try this with someone you trust, and little by little. It took me years to let a few people hug me, and still only for a few seconds and one arm.
And I'm from a european background, our people hug, kiss, and touch all the time, I honest to god thought i'd go crazy like a million times :-)
So baby steps! :-) i'm rooting for ya!

[roses4me]

I am new to the site but not new to stress, phobias and anxiety.
I have a problem with touching too, especially if I don't know that it is coming.
In my case, it is from autism. I don't have autism because I have empathy but I have autistic traits. My son and my father both have Asperger's syndrome, a form of autism that can be hereditary.
I am super sensitive with all my senses, hearing, smelling. When I was young, and gas had an odor, I used to beg my dad to drop me off a few blocks away and pick me up after. The school bell and fire alarms drove me crazy.
I am 48 and have had the same boyfriend for 10 years now. Intimate touch is tough. He has ajusted to my limitations. He knows that he can put his arms around me and his hands on my back or take my hand in public. Or put his arm around my shoulders in public. All other touch has to be initiated by me or I jump and withdraw. He finds it difficult but he appreciates me. And of course I have to deal with his limitations too.
So have courage.
And autism and panic disorders apparently are on the same allele so it might be worth looking into.

[Cyran0]

drytherain, I don't have that specific issue (I do random panic and generalized anxiety) but I'm sure others here will have some great insight. I just wanted to say welcome.

Cyran0