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#1
May 07, 2011, 09:40 AM
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just woke up
I'm thinking , 'LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE ME ALONE!' and I am covered in hives... an allergic reaction to stress... took an antihistamine have had minor intestinal bleeding this morning most of this is due to a traumatic event last May (2010) yesterday afternoon I took a nap and work with terrors and horrible memories hopefully just posting will make it a little less horrible roses |
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#2
May 07, 2011, 10:30 AM
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feeling a little better now
not feeling, 'leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me alone.' but then am not doing anything to trigger it either I am thankful for the creation of this site I am thankul for absolutely everyone here roses |
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#3
May 07, 2011, 10:49 AM
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(((roses4me)))
 - I'm so sorry you're not feeling well mentally or physically. I'm not familiar with your history, so I don't what advice to offer. Just take extra good care of yourself today. Hoping you feel better soon.
__________________
 This is our little cutie Bella  *Practice on-line safety. *Cheaters - collecting jar of hearts. *Make your mess, your message. *"Be the change you want to see" (Gandhi) |
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#4
May 07, 2011, 01:38 PM
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more flashbacks
a really, really bad day I dream of confronting my mom but cannot she never had the intellectual or emotional capacity to realize the consequences of what she did in fact her own actions hurt herself so bad that she used to lock herself in the bathroom crying (and she passed away) bad day roses thank you Lynn not really looking for advice or anything else just trying to survive |
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#5
May 07, 2011, 05:41 PM
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Awwww (((((Roses))))) I'm so sorry you woke up feeling like this. Has the antihistamine helped with the hives?
The flash backs I hate them I couldn't handle them. But after coming to terms with what happened and forgiving the person that's when I was able to move. The T i used to see. Said you must be able to forgive the person. you don;t have to like, love or even talk to the but you can forgive them for what they have done. |
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#6
May 07, 2011, 05:44 PM
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Sending you positive vibes your way and lost of hugs
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#7
May 07, 2011, 06:07 PM
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it feels so bad to hear what you are feeling and thinking. You wake up with the fear of having a bad day. You dont need that! You must think for yourself: There are no good or bad days. There are just simple days and it is up to me to make them good or bad. To decide for the good day. To make up your mind that you are going to have fun, loving to be alive. Believe me, I know that it is not easy many times. I have pain 24/7 since I was 12 and I am 65 now. Many mornings I just wanted to be dead, but the power inside of me made me decide, that there are going to be good things, that I will enjoy the day. I go out (roll out) to the beach, have a coffee, maybe talk to someone. I come home, lie down for a while and then I have my lunch. After that I work on my books and enjoy my own creativity. I fill my days with activities that I enjoy. You see, I used to wake up wanting to die. Now I wake up and do what I decided the evening before. And now I have a good quality of life. Why dont you try that instead of just feeling sad for yourself? I used the last 30 years a method called SRP - Subliminal Rationality Programming with hypnosis once in a while, helping me to find my way. Why dont you try the same?
Good luck Franz Rudolf |
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#8
May 07, 2011, 10:35 PM
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woke up at 5 pm , sort of , couldn't open my eyes
the muscles in my legs were twitching felt like my palms and bottoms of my feet were swollen, pins and needles and burning and frozen my mind felt like it was locked in a birdcage in the back of brain without access to the controls necessary to even open my eyes I know from past experiences that with extreme effort, I can open my eyes, but I am unable to process what I am seeing... don't even know what I am looking at at And the ministry has frozen my accounts, I can't even pay bills because of them. they have frozen my visa so I can't the minumum balance... so the amount owed will just keep increasing they actually think they can force someone who is ill to deal with all this usually when I get like this, I block everything from my past out and go back to work in a fast food restaurant (don't have the concentration for anything else). For about a year I do that , then everything bubbles up and I try to move forward legally, people do nothing and close files and it all starts again. don't know what will happen now, just know I don't have the health to do what needs to be done roses |
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#9
May 07, 2011, 10:45 PM
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((((((((((((((roses)))))))))))))))) I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this. I wish I had something helpful to say. Just wanted to leave you some hugs
I really hope things improve for you
__________________
 Peace is every step ~ Thich Nhat Hanh |
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