Like a prisoner

That;s how I feel sometimes, paralyzed by fear, afraid of people, afraid of the phone ringing, don't even know the last time i talked on the phone, my mode of transportation is the bus now that I gave up my car ,and I really weigh heavily whether what I need from the store is actually worth waiting for the bus and taking the trip, I just seem to be getting more and more phobias, for the first month and half living here I was doing fairly well then one night I tried to take a walk and for some reason there were more residents outside hanging out and talking and I sort of freaked and had to come back home ,going out for my daily walks is becoming increasingly difficult. Trying to get courage to call a counseling office I found on one of my walks and so far have not been able to make that phone call. There is a lot I need to do like get my Colorado ID so I can get some health care insurance and maybe food stamps, Im definitely taking baby steps that's for sure but I am a little mad at myself for being this way and frustrated and agitated, it never completely goes away after years of help and different meds. Grrrr, sorry needed to vent, have a great day all, HUGS.

Hi Kmbpeace. I'm really sorry you're struggling with this. It's great you're still pushing yourself to take your daily walks, even though they are becoming more difficult. I think it's very important to keep trying to get out of the house each day. It will get easier again!!

I really hope you're able to put a call in to the counselor's office and get an appointment set up. That could be very helpful. It sounds like you're making a big effort to get better so try not to be too hard on yourself! Wishing you all the very best

Thank u I never give up the fight I honestly just survived the hardest 2 years of my life where I had a lot of losses and I"M 'here in a new apt. in a beautiful area, life is really good, scary but good. Thanks again.

The more you isolate yourself the harder it will be to leave the apartment.

I wear sunglasses all the time in the day, helps with the anxiety. I can't deal with lineups, so I try and shop the 24hour places later at night when there aren't many people around.

Also, early morning is another good time. You can shop, do your walk, etc, while the rest of the world is still asleep or on their way to work. I find the early AM crowd less threatening and more friendly.

These are just my coping strategies, and I am hoping to eliminate the need for them.

I know how hard it is to take a step to get help, even if you've done it before..This might sound kinda funny but once I was having a crazy bad anxiety day and I couldnt take it anymore so I went to go talk to someone and when I got there I just blurted it out, "I'M SORRY FOR BEING SO AWKWARD BUT I'M HAVING A ANXIETY ATTACK!! I'M REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE PLEASE HELP!". After I got that out I felt alittle better and the professional was immediately more equipped to handle the situation and she was very good at calming me down..I hope you keep talking your walks, its good for you =)

..weird thing about the phone ringing, I have that too..I dont know what it is about it but sometimes just that would send me over the edge, funny how when your calm it seems so dumb to be afraid of a phone ringing lol..but believe me I know

There is a fine line between pushing yourself too much and not pushing hard enough. It varies from person to person of course. You're the only one who can judge where that line is. You may go through periods of time where you find it very difficult to match your previous goals but those periods will pass. Sometimes the goal is just to not give in because of a temporary setback. It sounds like you've come a long way. You've come too far to give up. Keep doing your best and be patient. Make that call. Get your ID. Don't make them into bigger obstacles. The good days will come back

i work at my area's family resource center and we have family advocates who do case management to assist people in accessing resources until they are able to get on their feet again. perhaps you can see if you have a local family resource center to provide you with some support in meeting your goals. just a thought.

TY FOr that i actually found an independence center in colorado springs down town about ten minutes from where I live and oddly when I was hospitalized 3 times and in Counseling for 3 years here in Colorado NO ONE knew this place even existed not good, glad i found it tho

Keep up the good work, Kmb. It takes courage to keep going out even though it's tempting to give up. If you make the call to the counseling center, let us know how it goes.