[jiglitilittllitllop]

Ive always been really smart. Science is one of my favorite things. But it seemed to have been my downfall. One day, for no special reason, I started thinking about how things fit together.

I realised it makes no sense. Not one bit of it. "It" is the key thing. Totality. I see no good reason for anything to exist. I mean...All I could do was get to this place in my head where it was clear that an empty void would make much more sense.

The world no longer seems solid. I have been like this for the past year, non-stop. Panic disorder helping it too.

But I cant get over the idea that nothing, at any level, makes any sense. I am sorry I cant explain it better, its a really distressing set of emotions to try and comprehend. It just seems so unlikely.

[Severijn]

I honestly can't put my finger on what is bothering you, but I also had some annoying thoughts about existence.

The solution for me really was to go out more. I started to think too much about life, existence, religion, purpose and meaning. What I didn't realize that these thoughts were just a symptom of social isolation. Talking to people more made me feel better, and stopped the intrusive thoughts.

I don't know if that's the case with you, but it's an idea.

hi, jiglitilittllitllop (did i spell that correctly?!!)

scientific minds seem to naturally gravitate towards questions and solutions. problem is, there are a lot more questions than there are 100% certain answers! so, if you're always expecting answers to questions then you are just going to find disappointment. Sometimes the solution to existance is better found in philosophy - existentialism - than in science. In reality, the bottom line is that we all exist and existing is more of a verb than a noun. Meaning in life derives from what we do with our existance (lives), not what the universe does . The universe seems to exist as a vehicle to give life and form and matter; the existance part we have to supply to ourselves.

So, when it comes to the meaning of existance, it's necessary to get out of one's head and out into the world and to find meaning / create meaning there that is relevant to your life. You can rely on science to answer scientific questions but please do rely on it to answer everything. good luck to you!