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#1
Feb 21, 2012, 07:34 PM
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Please Help...
It's been almost a month now since I found a lump on my breast. I was of course scared out of my mind because cancer runs in our family. And I thought that was exactly what I had. I got checked out and I was fine. But since finding it I've been different. About a week later I got swelling on my upper lip. It was actually an allergic reaction I had to something but my mind said it was a cold sore. Even though the logical part of my brain told me I was okay I kept thinking I had herpes. Genital, ocular, you name it. And I couldn't shake the feeling. Then while I was at school I went to use the bathroom and found blood on the floor from someone. I immediately thought I was going to get some kind of STD from the toilet seat. Then I get bitten by something. Some kind of bug. I automatically think I have cancer again. And that the lump has spread. The stories go on and on. I know this may sound funny but I honestly 100% felt that those things were going to happen to me. I got so scared that I got my first panic attack. It lasted for about 30 mins or so. But I was up all night with fear. Ever since I found that lump I've been a totally different person. I used to think I was pretty much invincible. Like nothing could hurt me besides acne or a cold. I never thought something like that could happen to me so when it did I got so scared that now I think I have every disease known to man. I have a hard time sleeping alone. I'm always around my family. I feel better when they're near me. I get panic attacks out of the blue. I get so scared sometimes I have to sleep with one of them. What the hell is going on with me? And will I be like this forever? |
 candidog
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#2
Feb 21, 2012, 10:08 PM
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A mental health provider(psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist) and your medical doctor in your location are the people you need to contact in order to find out what is going on with you. all we can do it tell you whether we have gone through the same things..my treatment providers called my fears similar to yours - anxiety, stress, hallucinations and delusions that are part of my having bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders and sleep deprivation, dehydration and poor diet(eating disorder) and medication problems. again we cant tell you whats going on with you, only your treatment providers can do that. suggestion - contact your treatment providers. |
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#3
Feb 21, 2012, 10:32 PM
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I'm sorry Rapunzel that you are going this fear problem. Hope it will lift soon. I think you kinda said here that you had felt invincible and this opened you up to the fact that you are a human and can get sick. I have had breast cancer, and when they went to get the lump out of my breast; I was really quite surprised it was cancer. Had no family history of it at all. It is scary thing but the onchology of today does heal a lot of women if not most. I was pretty scared of all the process, because of horror stories about how chemo makes you sick. By the way that was 1993.
I think realizing your vulnerability is something you may not have considered before. I hope that you will find yourself not stressing so much over this and start some positive self talk. Fear seems to grow when we don't get our mind off of it. Those nasty stress hormones are not good for your system, and actually may have been the reason for your cold sore. I know telling someone to stop stressing isn't so easy for the person to put in action. The panic attack shows me you really have put a lot of thoughts to your fear. Even panic attacks are not as horrible as they seem; as they actually cause little/no harm to the body; but boy howdy...they feel like you drop into a huge fiery hole. Some self-talk or meditation and breathing exercises when you feel like you need it would likely be beneficial to you. I do hope that you overcome this and I feel it is a temporary thing for you; at least I do hope so. Take care and as many folks say on here, find a way to ease and soothe yourself from this tension. Hugs, bj
__________________
The scientists’ religious feeling takes the form of a rapturous amazement at the harmony of natural law, which reveals an intelligence of such superiority that, compared with it, all the systematic thinking and acting of human beings is an utterly insignificant reflection.Albert Einstein |
| candidog
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#4
Feb 21, 2012, 11:43 PM
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Hi Rapunzel, Sorry to hear that you have had such a hard time of it. Thank God it wasn't what you thought. You have come to the realization that you are not guarded and vunerable that can really change a person. You will get over it, so don't give it too much thought. Being shocked into reality is some time the hardest thing to wrap your brain around. Take one day at a time and breathe. Enjoy each moment of each day and love the ones around you. Fear is a hard thing to shake. I have learned to go with the panic attacks and once they go away eat something. Your body uses a lot of energy during a panic attack. Mine come when I least expect them and last from 10 mins to 3 days, but I enjoy every moment of everyday, so they have become secondary to me. Don't fight it just let it wash over you and relax as much as possible. Your fear is warranted, but you are fine, and there is nothing you can do but take care of yourself each day. If you continue to have fear it will be harder on your body that you know. So relax! Look at the positives in life. God loves you!
__________________
 
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#5
Feb 24, 2012, 01:25 AM
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Hi
This sounds like parthophobia. "A belief of uncontrollable anxiousness when you think of or are exposed to disease The belief which you must try every possible action to keep off disease The inability to work normally because of your anxiety Often, the knowledge which your fears are irrational, unreasonable or magnified but feeling weak to control them" Pathophobic symptoms can be classified as mental, emotional and physical. The anxiousness and fear can go from mild feel of apprehensions to a complete panic attack. Typically, the closer you're to what you are afraid of, the heavier your fear will be Most cures offered for pathophobia - particularly using drugs and medications - can tackle only the symptoms, not the thinking that is the core of the disease. |
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#6
Feb 24, 2012, 03:41 AM
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I think everyone has moments when they get paranoid about something. The important part is to be reasonable with yourself. Getting a possible cold sore and being worried about herpes is far different than a lump on a breast.
Keep an eye on both if neither go away, then go to a doctor. When these things happen all of the time though, then you really should consider some type of therapy to help you cope better. You deserve to live your life without being afraid all of the time. 
__________________
Success in not final; Failure is not fatal; It is the courage to continue that counts. Winston Churchill 
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#7
Feb 25, 2012, 12:18 AM
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#8
Feb 27, 2012, 12:40 AM
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Hello Rapunzel,
I'm sorry you are going through this fear and anxiety. I can relate to your problems. I have had periods where I obsess about small physical ailments being something really bad. It is a hard thing to shake. My doctor said that is part of my generalized anxiety disorder. Being on medication has helped reduce the fear and anxiety and made it easier for me to redirect my thinking when I start going down this path. I hope you will find some help with these problems. |
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