[krisakira]

I haven't really talked much at all about this, but I have panic disorder. When I had my first panic attack, I didn't know what it was. I was shaking, felt like I was dying, just totally freaking out in terror. It lasted for days, non stop, except the hour at a time that I would fall asleep. I was bed ridden. I could barely eat, and I threw up. I don't know why my parents never took me to the ER or a doctor during that time, because I had just turned 17. The last week of 11th grade, I went to school half a day every day. Everything was terrifying. No one knew what was wrong with me. I thought I was malnourished because I was borderline anorexic at the time. I thought I was starving to death. I thought a lot of things, even the things my parents believe in, like demons. I can't really put to words how terrifying a panic attack is, but I'm sure those of you who are reading this know exactly what I'm talking about. Well, the summer between 11 and 12 th grade the panic attacks seemed to go away for a couple months. But once we moved to Ohio (moved that summer, different school for 12th grade, yea i know it sucks right), they start happening again. This time it wasn't going on for days at a time, but more like a half hour to an hour. Unless you have panic disorder yourself, I don't think you can really understand how debilitating it can be. In between panic attacks, you have fear of having an attack, which can sometimes bring ON an attack. I couldn't go to school. I missed several days when school started. I would go and during the first or second period I had to have my mom pick me up. I think people were getting frustrated at me. When we thought it was food related, my relatives would blame me for not eating, which we thought caused the attacks. No one really knew what they were at all. It wasn't until october my senior year that I was talking to a friend online and they told me it was a panic attack, and I was at first not believing them, I'd say "maybe i had a panic attack while it was going on but theres gotta be something more to it" I couldn't believe that "all it was" was "just" a panic attack. I had no idea panic attacks could be that bad. Well, apparently the friend was right, because I went to a doctor, he agreed that it was panic disorder, and put me on zoloft. Within another 6 months I was nearly panic attack free!!! That is kinda where I am today. Panic attack free I am on celexa for it now. Without my SSRI medicine I believe I would go right back to having panic attacks several times a day. My medicine is a life saver. I mean, I have other issues, like bipolar disorder, and I take meds for that too, but the most debilitating thing I have ever gone through was panic disorder. I am just so thankful that SSRI's help me so much.

Although, I do still have a lot of anxiety, even if it's not as bad as the panic attacks. I know the medicine is not a cure-all. Lately my boyfriend has been worried that I could be developing agoraphobia. I don't like taking the dogs outside to do their business, and I thought it was because of sheer laziness. But when thinking more about it, I believe the reason why I don't like taking them out is that I am afraid it will be uncomfortable or that I will suffer. Not sure how that would cause me to suffer, though. Another thing is that I have pretty bad anxiety before going somewhere, such as a doctor or T appointment, or even going shopping. When I go long periods without driving, I start getting anxiety about that too. I think I will get lost, end up late, or get in an accident. I'm not really afraid of being outside, just what is involved in being out there. My boyfriend suggested I post about this and get some feedback on what agoraphobia really is, and if I am showing signs of it or not. When I had panic attacks I DEFINITELY had agoraphobia, just from the fear I would get panic attacks while out, and not be able to come home. As the panic disorder got better, it went away though. Just wondering if it might be starting to develop again...

[lancetrot]

Hi
Hope this week you feel better.
Though both agoraphobia and social anxiety disorder can involve the fear of public places, people with SAD usually experience anxiety only in situations where scrutiny of others may occur. Whwn people with agoraphobia generally feel better in the company of a confided companion, people with SAD may feel worse because of potential scrutiny by the fellow traveller as well.
Agoraphobia often happens in conjunction with panic disorder. Even though agoraphobia can be diagnosed without panic disorder, in clinical settings around 95% of people with agoraphobia also have a diagnosis from panic disorder. While agoraphobia is diagnosed without panic disorder, severe anxiety is felt but not to the level where it constitutes a panic attack.