[Meep]

16 yrs old with a current serious case of anxiety, I constantly feel tight chested, short beath , pounding heart. When I sit down just for awhile I always get numb or pins n needles. I've had trichotrillomania for years and its always controlled my life, quit swimming with people. Until now I've always been able to hide it, now I wear a hat in the house and outside. Always bit my nails but now they're pathetically short and always sting. I used to be fit, now I get 4 on the beep test, which is really pathetic. I used to never cry, now I cry all the time, I don't study anymore, and I'velways been one of the smarter people in my grade. Basically my life is falling apart, and the amazing future I wanted seems impossible now thanks to my lack of work.
I've talked to my mum about it, she doesn't want to pay to see someone, thinks I should just talk to her and it'll all be okay but to be honest the only reason I told her because she was there when I started crying because every single day she puts me in such a crappy mood. I've done research, I've called kids help line (really didn't help), so I really just don't know what to do. The more I try to fix it the worse of I get and I'm on the verge of loosing my social confidence thanks to my hair, which I really can't handle at this point.
I'm just exhausted and hungry all the time and I'm starting to accept that I'm going to fail final year exams tomorrow, which is another thing to add to my depressing list

[IowaFarmGal]

Hi Meep! Welcome to PC! Would she let you go to a regular doctor for a check up? Maybe a doctor could convince her to get some help for you. I hope you find the support you need here or maybe some advice that would help.

[shezbut]

(((Meep)))

I agree with IowaFarmGal's idea. Try to get in to see your general practice doctor and share your difficulties with him or her. Be completely honest about your high anxiety, trichotrillomania, and depression. It seems to me that the current methods being used aren't working for you (just talking with your mom), you need someone on YOUR side who will stand up for your proper care.

Very gentle hugs and best wishes to you!

[Odee]

Seeing a GP definitely sounds like the best course of action for you right now! Perhaps you could use your somatic symptoms (pounding heart, chest pains, numbness) as your grounds for going.

[Meep]

I've asked her but she doesn't want to. And we dont have a family doctor.

[IowaFarmGal]

I wonder if they have a First Call For Help agency in your area. They could advise you about who could help. In our area some of the churches sponsor free clinics with doctors volunteering. Maybe public health or community action could advise you. I'm thinking school is out for the summer so no school nurse or guidance counselor connected with school right now. We have an agency called Keystone that helps with kids with disabilities, that might be a possibility. Not sure what the name would be in your area though. Department of Human Services is a federal agency. Does your Mom have a reason she doesn't want you talking to anyone else? Is she doing something questionable to you? It seems odd that she would not be motivated to help.

[shezbut]

How about your school counselor? But, it's summertime...

....Uhmmm....do you go to a church or synagogue? You could always speak with a priest, pastor, rabbi, or ??? about your struggles. They go about things differently than a school or clinic, but they are there to support members in a variety of ways. Spiritually, physically, emotionally, and sometimes financially as well. Like, other church members come together for bake sales, car washes, rummage sales, etc. to help someone (or a family) get through a particularly rough time. That's an option if you are near and/or involved with a church or temple.

I do agree with IFG again. LOL, jk! But, yes, I do agree. I find it peculiar that your mom doesn't want you to go in for help on these issues that aren't going away. Maybe she sees herself as the "fixer", the one who knows it all, and if she can't fix you then no one can ~ maybe that's where her head is, I don't know. You're certainly old enough to speak up for yourself if she's unwilling to do so though.

Just reach out to a responsible adult (preferably in your community) and ask for help. A police officer, doctor or nurse, therapist or teacher ~ all have been educated a lot on signs of abuse. While you aren't describing a physically abusive home life, I certainly feel that you're being emotionally abused by having to put up with a heck of a lot of stress & not having a release for it. Your anxiety symptoms are a bit extreme. The fact that your mom is refusing to treat your symptoms is emotionally abusive.

I hope that I haven't hurt or scared you ~ I really don't want to do that! I just want you to see that you DO have people out in your community eager to help you. Please reach out for help. You don't have to have your mom's approval on every decision that you make. You're getting older. And as kids age, they typically have more and more responsibilities and more rights. Getting help now is your RIGHT!!

[Meep]

THank you, no that didn't scare me, that made me feel slightly better.
I think my mum is just lazy, she has her "Own" social life but when we talk it's only to yell at me, and even when it's things that are supposed to be positive, she's just tired all the time, moving didn't really help. So I feel like she's a bit depressed too, so I don't want to bother her about it. I think that's why she doesn't want to help me, because she thinks if she can deal with it I could too.
And a great opportunity just came up Yesterday I had a concert, but my parents didn't want to drive me, so i got a lift with the host, who runs the Music Department at a church, and so for a long drive, and helping her with equipment we became pretty good friends and will probably see her in activities in the summer.
Thanks for the suggestions! I will try to talk to her

Look for a community mental health facility near you.
Usually the cost is very low, for low income people.
You may want to call the hospital for advice finding a clinic.