[NinaNina]

My anxiety is triggered a lot when my boyfriend is not around, or when he is with certain people/doing certain things.

In July, I am house sitting for a friend for two weeks, and during this time I know I won't get to see my boyfriend very much at all, and likely won't get to spend any nights with him. And on the weekend during the time I'm house-sitting, I would have liked him to come stay with me but there is an overnight camping event that weekend that hes going to with some friends. I would normally go too, but I can't this time because of house-sitting. Tons of people go to this event, and everyone is drinking etc. The friend that my boyfriend goes with always drinks a lot and he's an idiot when hes drunk (he's engaged with two children and gets very "promiscuous" when hes drinking).

Thinking of these two weeks and the weekend is already making me nervous and anxious. And I know its going to be a really hard two weeks for me, and especially a hard weekend. I bought a new Cognitive Behaviour Therapy book that has "homework" at the end of each chapter, so I'm planning on working through at least a chapter a day during these two weeks to hopefully distract me and help with the anxiety.

I guess my question is does anyone have suggestions on how to prepare for what I know is going to be a bad time for my anxiety? Does anyone have things they do when they know they are entering into a situation that will trigger their anxiety?

Any feedback would be really appreciated

[Perna]

A huge part of my anxiety was being anxious about being anxious Your preparing to be anxious about a future situation (which you cannot know how it will be because it's the future and hasn't happened!) is like that.

I would put a different spin on it, experiment while you are house sitting, especially that weekend. Do you want to be anxious when your boyfriend is not around? That's all you, not about your boyfriend and his not being around. You want to be content in your own skin, doing your own thing. Yes, it's great when we're with our SO's but giving them our own security doesn't make sense.

I love to read and often do not get the private time. When I have a good book, I go to bed early so I can read in bed, undisturbed. I don't know if you work, but I would stay up until 2:00-3:00 when I was not so anxious when my husband was away on business trips. Were I you, I would welcome and explore your anxiety and see if you can figure out where it is coming from and, during the days, see if you can come up with ideas that might be helpful to you, in your own case, to try.

The workbook you have sounds good but kind of "generic" and, if you don't know what is causing your own anxiety not being with your boyfriend, may not help much?

I would make some fun plans of my own for what I would like to do and try while I'm on my own. Have you ever lived on your own? I did for 13 years and then, suddenly, when I had a SO was anxious when he wasn't there? That's "odd" if you think about it? Think hard about your own situation and write some questions like that that need answers! If you are an experimenter and really interested in yourself and making yourself feel better, that can go a long way; no one else can do it for you.

[NinaNina]

Thank you for this I do know why I get anxious when he is not around...it is because of past situations between us that have led to trust issues. Basically when he is not around I over-think about what he could be doing and focus on the worst possible situations- which of course are never true.

I definitely do not want to be anxious when he is not around, and I am trying really hard to work on it.

I also love to read and do not get too often, so I was planning on bringing a couple books with me to read while I am there. I also have a couple friends that live close to where I'm house sitting that I do not see much, so I've told both of them when I will be there so we are able to get together.

[youractualtherapist]

The reason that you get anxious about pending situations is that you will naturally predict worse case scenario, and as you know humans cannot predict the future so these thoughts will probably be inaccurate. Anxiety symptoms are the same as for fear, however, fear is experienced when something is ACTUALLY happening. Anxiety occurs when thinking about fearful situations. Obviously, there is uncertainty as the event is in the future, but try and recognise that our default setting will be to expect the worse, however, this may not be what ACTUALLY happens. Good luck