[pngindreamr]

I have past memories that seem to pop up and frustrate me because I cannot shake them from my mind. They are not big events just times where I was embarrassed or made stupid decisions. I know that I cannot change the past but I seem stuck in it. I want to live in the NOW. I feel like I cannot fully enjoy my life when I am vividly in the past (I have a good memory- and that sucks in this situation) via my mind all the time. It is SO frustrating! Does anyone have this problem? I am seeing a therapist but we have just started to scratch the surface. These usually pop up at night before bed, or when I am happy and just randomly I begin to think about the past events. Then after it starts I do it so much. I think about them everyday and when I wake up I do. It is so troubling. If you all have any techniques that help, I welcome your thoughts! Thank you.

[Merque]

Ooh, I know where you're coming from... I have the exact same problem and I often feel like I never learn from my mistakes, which bugs me as well.

A way I have found to deal with this is to not dwell on the past, but accept that if no one was harmed and if it didn't have a lasting negative impact, it was all for the better.

I don't know if you're a man or a woman, but I've come to notice that women are often way more embarrassed of past happenings than men. Once I shared my woes with a male friend of mine and he said: "Wow, you take things way too seriously. I eff up all the time and no matter how stupid it is, it turns into a story to laugh with the guys." So maybe another way to deal is not to take yourself too seriously (which is hard for me, because I have self image issues).

Hope I help a little

[regretful]

This might have been shared with you before, but this is something that helps me get through periods like this: I meditate on the serenity prayer.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

My focus is mainly on the very first line when I am caught in a thought loop about things from the past.

[uchiha]

I have the same exact issue where I replay past events, usually embarrassing/negative events, over and over again. I often tell myself that no one us perfect ad we all make mistakes.

I agree with regretful, serenity prayer is good mantra. I will try the prayer myself wen I am slipping into this mode of thinking.

[SeekingZen]

sjcart86,

I ruminate on the past as well, a great deal of the time. I think that once you get to discuss these issues in therapy you may see them differently, which may allow you to move past unresolved feelings. So far, T has allowed me to see things that I was reliving differently, and I have been able to stop thinking about certain things so much. Like you, I am fairly new to T so hopefully this will get better with time.

Have you tried mediation and/or yoga?

Doing things that require you to get out of your own head and concentrate on something you enjoy can also be helpful.

If I come up with any other ideas I'll let you know.

[pngindreamr]

Thank you all for your responses. I worked with my therapist today. She did hypnotherapy for letting go. Also instructed the serenity prayer to show that we cannot be completely in control of ourselves. We are human and not perfect
I am going to work on that because I am a perfectionist. So I am already feeling better with this realization.

[Perna]

Instead of pushing away the thoughts; I would keep a clipboard/notebook by my bed and write them down (to take to therapy) and consider them seriously. I'd be thankful to my unconscious that it is bringing up these thoughts, be on your unconscious'/mind's "side" and accept the experiences/thoughts. If you agree with someone who is being complaining, they run out of reasons to complain and stop. I'm not saying you have to be glad these things happened to you, just acknowledge (out loud?) that they did and that they must be important to you/your life and experience that you have remembered them and keep recalling them. Working with them, they'll quit "haunting" you, trying to get your attention. Let them know they have succeeded in getting your attention, just that you are going to work with them between 9 and 5 not when you are supposed to be sleeping.