[Slushie]

I had a crappy past two days at work. As usual it's my fault somehow. It was nice while she was gone for 4 weeks, but unfortunately she had to come back. So today , on my way home I say Im gonna stop here and there but never make it beacause of....I dont know...maybe social anxiety. I go to Rite Aid, then Burger King, then home. I came home let the two dogs out ate what I bought, then ate the candy I bought, then had some ice cream. Oh yeah, all before 5:30. I was quick. Dont mess around. I texted my teenage son (who no longer needs me and is spending the summer with his father) , then here it came...the crazy thoughts aboout how much time in life I had. I was doing the math. I figure about 25 years, maybe. I cant beleive I only have 25 years of life left,and then I die. I wont even be able to see my grandchildren after they're 30. Ill be dead , in the ground, or urn. Then the uncontrollable crying, then to the computer to figure out what the heck is wrong with me. So, I talk to myself I the time...and I wonder what could it be...is it the Depression, anxiety, add, diabetes(did I just consume too much sugar?), menapause, stress, anti-social behavior...... BTW...I had been on meds for years & years for depression and anxiety. I do appreciate and thoughts...

[pngindreamr]

Sorry to hear you are experiencing these thoughts. I too have anxiety about death. I get these moments where I feel like it could happen anytime to anyone and no one knows and it just sends me in a panic. Do you have anything that makes you feel happy? Do you have hobbies and things that make your life feel purposeful? You mentioned grandchildren. Think about how they make your life happy now. Try not to stamp a time period on your future. None of us know how long we have so enjoy every moment of your life with your family and find things you enjoy. Hope you find peace.