[nummy]

I'm having lots of anxiety, being scared of seeing certain faces is setting me off. Was just getting a hold of this, via a friend dropping me off after work, when for no reason a police car turned both lights and sirens on behind my friends car, after she dropped me off. He could have gone around. (In his defense, it is a dark area.) She's not upset; I am. It was 2am and there was no traffic, so no traffic to block. She said he was just doing his job. Maybe so , but I'm middle aged and never saw any police officer do that before (maybe it's happened, I just didn't notice.) trying not to deal with panic attacks. I do believe the police are the good guys, that's how I was raised. I'm thinking about quitting my job, I'm afraid somebody will harm me if I don't, of course, there's that crazy thinking that says I may be hurt even if I do.

It may be a time before I can get meds for my "hyper vigilant fears". One family member thinks it's OCD with paranoia. I just need to hear from somebody else who's been in my shoes. It's just a general fear of men right now, and I feel like it's being done to maybe punish me for working evenings. I never see the police bothering men who work at night. But at same time, I should feel safe with police around, and I don't always.

Thoughts?
Thank you.

[live2ski66]

I can relate to how scared you are. I moved to a very small community (7000) people on purpose, to feel safer. My biggest fear is the hungry black/brown bear in the Spring and Fall. Unfortunately I have to move back to a 200,000 size city this week. I know I will be hipper vigilant.

I have my paranoiacs about living in larger communities and reading about people who impersonate police officers just to assault women. I used to carry a loud whistle and will acquire one again. I might even get a fog horn or something similar. If I feel I'm being followed and it's late an I'm alone in my car, I have called 911 while driving and had them stay on the line until I see a police officer or reach a police station, or walk in my home, make a check, and then thank them for staying with me.

It's a fine line between honoring your fears and being controlled by your fears. You want to be safe, but you don't want to be the boy who cried wolf too many times.

Many many years ago I took a self defense class called Model Mugging. It was awesome. It helped me with my confidence and taught me awareness skills I never knew I should tap into. The program started out of San Francisco in the late 1970's and evolved. In a nutshell, it is full contact self defense. The "assailant" dresses up in the Michelin man suit and they teach you a set of very basic moves you can apply full force to defend yourself, to create the space you need to run and seek help. You might want to google it to see if it exists in your area.

Your friend was mist likely correct. The police was just making sure everything was ok.

Remember, it is your right to feel "comfortable" with your fears. Don't ignore them, they are there for a reason. Acknowledge them and be aware.

Hope this helps you

[nummy]

Thanks. Even friends acting weird I think they may be pranking me. Even my phone, I mean things showing up weird, old emails. Time to get rid if that email I think. Paranoia or no, I'll feel better.
I like the idea of self defense class, good idea.