[AngelWolf3]

Ok. So I know I don't really post in this forum section so if I don't get replies, I understand. But I don't know what is wrong with me. It KILLS me everytime I go somewhere, where there are a lot of people.

We were at my son's district art display, and there were people everywhere. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, I felt like I was in a box. I just wanted to GET OUT.

I had to go outside like 3 times in 30 minutes, just to keep my sanity, until we found his artwork and then we could go. It was like someone released the hounds, and I escaped.

I cannot avoid functions like this, unfortunately, because my kids are at that age where they need the support and want me there, but things like science fairs, sporting events, etc. Just make me want to run as far away as possible, or curl up in the fetal position in the corner.

What can I do to alleviate this? I can't go on like this, it is embarrassing and it wears me out, afterwards, my legs feel leaden.

Thanks if you read this, and more thanks if you reply.

[Jolisse]

I would suggest you seek help for this. It does sound as if your experiencing anxiety attacks. (although I'm not a doctor).
There are many treatment for this, usually meds and therapy.
Anxiety is difficult to fix on your own, please seek some help and support.

[AngelWolf3]

thank you for your reply, Jolisse

[avlady]

I also think you were having an anxiety attack, i went through all of that stuff when i was younger but i don't even know how i got out of it, i just sort of grew out of it, with the help of doc and T's i know how awful it feels it's unexplainable and i feel for you-but know it doesn't have to be a lifelong thing with the right help

[AngelWolf3]

Thank you avlady...gives me hope to know that it can go away...

[whoswho]

Hi.

I get really bad anxiety too. It's been worse than usual for the last few days so I came wandering back to this section and found this...

Do you know exactly it is that you are anxious about? Is it the crowds, or the thought that you're trapped and can't escape, or just feeling self-conscious and like everyone can tell that you're freaking out, etc.? Are you just really wound up or are you experience a "full blown" panic attack?

Sometimes I get stuck at almost having a panic attack but never quite having one. And that is the pits!

And it can get better. I still have my off moments, but I'm not housebound anymore. Far from being housebound, in fact...

[BlessedRhiannon]

Sometimes, I find that too much sensory input just overwhelms me and I lose myself and start to panic. That might be what happened to you as well. When that happens, I focus on my breathing and find a single point in all the chaos that I can focus on and try to block out everything else for a few moments.

If you're not already seeing a therapist, that might be a good option. For me, a combination of medication and therapy has been most effective in helping me to deal with crowds and other social situations.

[Ladyzero]

Sounds to me like a panic attack. I've experienced them, they are frightening yet harmless. It is unfortumately mind over matter, literally. Breathing calmly helps a great deal. Don't hyperventilate or over breathe. Ask yourself 'what's the worst that can happen ?' Positive self talk helps, tell yourself you're safe. Think calm thoughts and reassure yourself. Good luck.

[Piraeus]

You are very brave for going to these functions. I do think you should see a pdoc. He can give you some meds to cope with it better. A therapist can help as well.

I too experience anxiety when I am in crowds. I go to the market with my mom a lot. She keeps one of my anxiety pills(Clonapin) in her purse for when i am really bad. Most of the time I just go outside and smoke a cig. Sometimes if there is somebody else there, I talk to them. I don't talk to them about my anxiety though.

I hope you can find some help for your anxiety.For now, just fake it til you make it.

Sincerely,

Piraeus

[AngelWolf3]

Originally Posted by whoswho

Is it the crowds, or the thought that you're trapped and can't escape, or just feeling self-conscious and like everyone can tell that you're freaking out, etc.? Are you just really wound up or are you experience a "full blown" panic attack?

Sometimes I get stuck at almost having a panic attack but never quite having one. And that is the pits!

And it can get better. I still have my off moments, but I'm not housebound anymore. Far from being housebound, in fact...

I too wandered away, and just happened to re-check this post! I can actually totally identify everything you put there...it's the thought that I can't escape, and the crowds themselves, I think. Then I do get self-conscious, like oh crap, everyone will see me cry or freak out, or faint, lol. It's like it compounds itself...! Like tumbling down the stairs...

I am so glad you are not housebound anymore!!!!! Congratulations!! What worked best for you?

[AngelWolf3]

Originally Posted by Piraeus

You are very brave for going to these functions. I do think you should see a pdoc. He can give you some meds to cope with it better. A therapist can help as well.

I too experience anxiety when I am in crowds. I go to the market with my mom a lot. She keeps one of my anxiety pills(Clonapin) in her purse for when i am really bad. Most of the time I just go outside and smoke a cig. Sometimes if there is somebody else there, I talk to them. I don't talk to them about my anxiety though.

I hope you can find some help for your anxiety.For now, just fake it til you make it.

Sincerely,

Piraeus

Thank you for saying I'm brave! I like your suggestions about talking to someone...I used to smoke, so worst case, I can hang out and catch some secondhand and talk to whoever is out there

I am considering talking to my Pdoc, I have an appointment on Friday with him for bloodwork and such, so I think I may discuss the option.

Thank you.

[AngelWolf3]

Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon

Sometimes, I find that too much sensory input just overwhelms me and I lose myself and start to panic. That might be what happened to you as well. When that happens, I focus on my breathing and find a single point in all the chaos that I can focus on and try to block out everything else for a few moments.

That is definitely what happens too...ever since my concussion, I get very overwhelmed, and kind-of short-circuit. I never thought about finding a single point in the chaos! Great tip! Thank you.

[whoswho]

Originally Posted by AngelWolf3

I too wandered away, and just happened to re-check this post! I can actually totally identify everything you put there...it's the thought that I can't escape, and the crowds themselves, I think. Then I do get self-conscious, like oh crap, everyone will see me cry or freak out, or faint, lol. It's like it compounds itself...! Like tumbling down the stairs...

I am so glad you are not housebound anymore!!!!! Congratulations!! What worked best for you?

My anxiety is definitely a work in progress, haha. I'll try not to write too much here, in fear of absolutely boring you to death.

I've used anti-anxiety medications such as Ativan and Klonopin for years, but not on a regular basis. Doctors always pushed me to take more/higher doses but--being as anxious as I am!--I was too afraid of the addiction potential. But if used with caution, I think they are great tools to combat the fear of fear itself, i.e., I avoid going in public because I'm afraid I'll have a panic attack and freak out in front of everyone. It's a cycle: you get so afraid of having one that you actually have one. But now I know, OK, if things start getting really bad and I feel like I'm freaking out, I can excuse myself and go to the bathroom and take a small dose of Ativan, which I always keep a few with me in my wallet or purse. Sometimes just knowing that it's there if I need it is enough to keep me from going over the edge.

There are a lot of relaxation techniques therapists will teach you such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and meditation but honestly I had really limited success with these. However, I've seen them work wonders for other people.

The most beneficial things I pick up in therapy were:

1) learning what anxiety is, like this thing I'm experiencing is called a "panic attack" and lots of people have them and I'm not really dying or going crazy.

2) learning to recognize how anxiety manifests within myself and my own symptoms, so I can intervene before I'm completely freaking out.

But I think the thing that helped the most was something I couldn't find from any mental health professional, which was finding a real friend. And that really helped me come out of my shell...

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

That's just a regular occurrence for me, unfortunately, so you can guarantee that I relate to that. As has been suggested, get yourself some help (sorry that it's not overly supportive, but you did request it) as that will be your best move, but I warn you, it won't be easy, so don't expect an easy ride... try to let whomever helps you, know that you struggle that much, and try to push for a home visit for at least the first time. If you're anything like me, new people and places are a NIGHTMARE and it's much better when you know most of the stuff that could prop up. I've struggled with severe anxiety issues all my life, more or less, and can barely get out of the house.. it takes such a lot of willpower and to some extent bravery (or balls, if you prefer) to go to the shop just 10-15 minutes walk away. >.> I haven't been to that shop on my own in a couple of months if not a lot more, btw... gotten so bad I'm basically living off my parents again. I completely relate, and you're not alone, is something I'm trying to help you see, so don't panic about that, because when you're panicking, there is always someone somewhere having a panic attack, too! xD So have comfort in that! :P

I've used anti-anxiety medications such as Ativan and Klonopin for years

>.> ... alright for some.. I asked and was never given it, even when it was absolutely clear how bad I am. :\ really frustrating.. it's the one medication I'd consider taking right now... but like you, I'm concerned of the risks. (it's why I don't use sleeping meds, even when on offer) But hey, I've (kinda) made it this far, without anti-anxiety medication, so sod it.. might as well go all the way... <.> Blergh.

1) learning what anxiety is, like this thing I'm experiencing is called a "panic attack" and lots of people have them and I'm not really dying or going crazy.

This unfortunately has never helped me, as I'm perfectly aware what it is; I'm the one going through it. I've never understood how someone telling you your leg is broken, helps heal your broken leg. "Sorry Sir, but you appear to have a broken leg." ... "No s**t?"

2) learning to recognize how anxiety manifests within myself and my own symptoms, so I can intervene before I'm completely freaking out.

Probably something I could work on, but I do as often as possible acknowledge all that and remind myself what it is and what it isn't. It's hard, though, because I'm always anxious anyway "free-floater", and have gone on my whole life like this; it's mainly just a level of severity that alters - I don't know any different.

[whoswho]

Originally Posted by Akuma

This unfortunately has never helped me, as I'm perfectly aware what it is; I'm the one going through it. I've never understood how someone telling you your leg is broken, helps heal your broken leg. "Sorry Sir, but you appear to have a broken leg." ... "No s**t?"

Right, I didn't say that just knowing what it was completely fixed the problem. But the first time I had a panic attack I didn't know there was such a thing as having a "panic attack." I was having panic attacks for years before I ever received any help. By the time I did receive help, I had already been housebound for about 6 months. So obviously I was basically at rock bottom. I didn't know I was having panic attacks. All I knew was that I must be really crazy and messed up and possibly dying. And I had never heard of anyone else experiencing anything even remotely similar to what I was going through.

So sometimes it is helpful to know. When you can't walk because it hurts too much and you don't understand why, but everyone else can walk just fine... it's easy to blame yourself. Sometimes it really is helpful and necessary to find out that your leg is broken! Now I know it's not my fault, I'm not just a weak, stupid, bad, ungrateful, worthless person; this is a real thing that can be dealt with.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Well, yeh, absolutely. :P You couldn't have said it better, and well done. xD I've had a few things like that actually, in which I kinda went my whole life thinking I was the only one, (such as the intrusive thoughts side to OCD) and found out how common it was, and it helped a lot. BTW, what I said was more aimed at the people who invent such methods, but I forget that not everyone knows about anxiety 'n stuff, so sorry if that came off really offensive. (I was also very sleep deprived)

And no, of course you're not any one of those horrible things. xD

"can now butcher 2 languages instead of just 1!" - Lol... that's so something I'd say about myself. >.< My German can be pretty dire. :P

[AngelWolf3]

Thank you for your replies...!

I totally understand what you mean about not knowing it was a panic attack and that compounds the attack even more!!!!

I like how you compared it to the broken leg and not knowing it's broken and wondering why everyone can walk properly but you can't. I agree with akuma, very well done!!!!

Random Update:
I went to the pdoc this morning, and he wrote a script for Lexapro...so of course now I am anxious about the medication (haven't filled it yet) I keep staring at the script hoping I will feel less nervous about it. (didn't help that i read up on the side effects...yeesh)

I am going to try it, maybe, I think. I mean, if there is something at my disposal to lessen the anxiety, why not right? (I have been in therapy for almost a year now as well, and the anxiety is not lessening...)

I Don't KNOW!!! AUGH. Anyone have any experience with Lexapro? (I know there is the forum for psych. meds too, but I figured whilst I was on the subject...)

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

I'm not familiar with that drug, sadly.

Hope it works.

Good luck.

[whoswho]

Lexapro is actually one of the few meds I haven't tried.

But I believe that is an SSRI, similar to Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, etc. These medications are not usually used to treat anxiety per se (the exception to that being OCD), but recent research has shown a mild lessening of anxiety after long-term use. I think the study I read about that was specifically bout Zoloft and GAD but that was a few months ago.

As far as side-effects go: if you've been on any of the meds listed above (and those tend to be the doctor's choice in drugs as far as I can tell) and didn't have any severe side-effects, you're probably going to be fine. SSRIs are NOT considered to have any addiction potential.

What to expect: Like I said, the approach your doctor is taking is long-term management. If Lexapro has any effect on your anxiety at all--and it might not--it won't be for a few months time, and a very gradual, subtle change. You might just find yourself just generally a little less anxious with time. It will not have any immediate effect with regard to panic attacks.

Anyway, that's all just from my basic, non-professional understanding of how SSRIs work.

http://www.drugs.com/lexapro.html

[AngelWolf3]

thanks for the link, as well!