[Evening]

I am trying to find a full time job so I can save for a house and pay off my study fees. But I just don't know how I'm going to do it. I have so much anxiety, and since my mother so kindly pointed out once that my face had gone red because of something, it's now subconsciously and consciously on my mind and my face goes red at EVERYTHING. I literally cannot talk to another person- including family- without my face going red. This has just increased my anxiety 100 fold, if it didn't happen my confidence would be so much better. I wish people wouldn't feel the need to point these things out.
There is a new job I am applying for, which I REALLY want, because it's a 10 minute bus ride from my house, a 2 minute walk from where I study, and is a pet store, which I have a number of qualifications to work in. Plus it's a brand new store that's opening so it will be a step up from the last store I worked at, which this new store is pretty much taking over as it's in the same shopping centre.
On one hand I feel like 'is this something that's being handed to me because I am trying hard to strive for something, and this could not be any more perfect', but on the other hand I feel like 'I'm so pathetic, can't handle the stress of working and studying, and I'm possibly going to make an *** of myself in a store I'll have to constantly walk past if I lost the job.
If there was a magic pill that got rid of my anxieties and hang ups, I'd take 100. I could be so much further than I am in life if I wasn't bullied and abused growing up.

[IowaFarmGal]

Hi Evening! Whether you get the job or not each interview gives you practice talking to people. Could you get someone to practice interview type stuff with you before the interview? If you don't try for it you won't be considered. One step at a time. Don't borrow trouble from the future. What about if you get the job and it is perfect for you and you do a great job balancing work and school. I'm sorry you went through bullying and abuse, it does make it harder. Overcoming it is kind of like lifting weights, makes you stronger going forward. Wishing you luck on the interview and sending thoughts of success.

[Evening]

It's not the interview I really have trouble with, in fact in the past every interview I've had I've got the job. It's more once I have the job, the realisation I have to know things is where I start to get anxiety and mess up. I tend to say and do stupid things when I'm in that situation, haha. I just constantly feel like I'm pathetic, or a complete loser. I am 25, I should feel like an adult now, but I don't. I still feel like I did as a teenager, going into work experience thinking it will go well, only to have the manager call my job agency while I went to lunch saying they didn't want me back.

[IowaFarmGal]

Training in is stressful for sure. I hope you have patient, clear teachers for your training and that everyone has reasonable expectations, including you. Could you be putting too much pressure on yourself expecting perfection?

[Jan1212]

I used to get red in the face. I worked at a shop and saw many people apply for jobs I had seen them over again but I never really cared about that, I was too busy with work and my own life to realize, so it made me think.

I used to get intimidated by people. They're no better than you, a CEO or janitor, I am no better than them, they're no better than me. You make up your own life

Please don't blame others for your past anymore take responsibility to better yourself. I'm saying this because dwelling on and feeling sorry for myself I was wasting time. I look back and realized I could've been happy because, I realized things will be alright

I don't mean it's easy. I'm your age and were worried about life, job, independence, money, relationships, it's a tough stage and the process of applying for jobs is one of most stressful things I have to go through

[Phantasmagorical]

I feel the same way about people pointing things like that out. My sister is one of those people. She points out things about you that you're just like, "Oh, thanks, I was ALREADY self conscious about that, and now I KNOW that it's not just me..."

I've had people point out that I'm blushing (I'm extremely pale so I'm sure it very clearly shows... yay...) a few times. Never fun. Then I just blush more and I'm like, "Thanks for pointing out the fact that I'm embarrassed."

Anyways, I hope it all goes well. *hug*