[Wolfgang34]

It’s quite difficult to explain exactly what I experience frequently on a day to day basis, but I’ll do my best. Take this story for instance:


You and your friend are talking at his house one day like you guys always do when suddenly you slipped up on your words. No big deal right? But now, you suddenly remember that bad experience you had with an irritable, ill-tempered student at your old school a while back who snapped at some kid who did the same thing. Now, that old student is right there standing above you as you are sitting down, screaming and cussing at you because you messed up while talking. So now you try to hold your tongue at every chance because you don’t want her screaming at you again, but the painful memory resurging back at full force is too strong for you to handle. You tell your confused friend that you’re not in the mood anymore for chit-chat and you take off for home to lie down.

On the way, you noticed that the summer heat has made you sluggish and irritable making your walking speed noticeably slower than usual. You remember that time where your older sister screamed at you for that exact same reason, as if she’s now right behind you, pushing you and screaming at you to walk faster. So you try to walk faster but then you suddenly bump into a guy ahead of you. He turns his head around and gives you a menacing look and then you remember the time where you stepped on your father’s foot and he yelled at you. Now it’s like you staring right into the eyes of him. So you apologize to the man for what seems like a thousand times so he doesn’t scream at you and you continue home.

You remember what your dad and family told you. They told you to stop thinking about these feelings as simply and as easy as that, but then you recall the psychology article online that said that holding it in trying it hide it makes its worse and it's best to let it flow in your mind. So you're torn. You can simply stop thinking about the screaming and the arguing voices, only to become jittery, restless, and disconnected from reality. Or you can let it all go and tolerate the screaming only to be irritable, anxious and your insomnia will flare its ugly head again. You can't handle the screaming for too long so you go with the latter.

You arrive to your door, struggle to take the keys out of you constricted, tight pocket as the voices holler at you to hurry up. You forcibly yank them out,nearly hitting you own face and then struggle to put the main key into the keyhole as your hand is jittering all over the place. You remember your old classmates yelling and screaming at some kid because they wouldn’t hurry up on a particular group assignment and it’s like they are surrounding you now screaming at you collectively for not hurrying up. Finally, the door is open. You throw your stuff into the closet and head for your room to drown the thoughts out with music.

You untangle you earphones, but then you remember that movie you saw that time where the main character started screamed at her girlfriend because she wasn’t talking to him and it’s now like he’s screaming at you for taking too long. But at long last you untangle your earphones. You turn you computer on, open media player, you crank on one of your favorite songs to its peak to try to drive the screaming voices out and your growing frustrations. Hell, you even try to sing to it and dance to it even though you’re not really good at both. But the voices are all rushing at you at once and it’s like they’re now all screaming at each other, trying to win by yelling each other out.

But finally and quite suddenly, they all cower in a corner. Down from their vicious screaming, yelling and roaring to a quiet murmur. You’ve successfully driven them out with help of the music and by thinking of other things for a while. Your distractions have paid off, but not forever. Because you know It will be an uphill struggle to keep them back and at bay from then on.

So you essentially become a vegetable. You refuse to speak or to move with fear dead center in your mind that if you mess up somewhere they will yell at you for it and they will not stop.

And you begin to grow anxious and your fears of sleeping grow more and more as the digits on your watch get closer and closer to midnight.

You have a whole night’s worth –hours worth-- in bed, alone, and in silence with no more distractions, no more music and no other choice but to hear them all screaming at you again.

[Leed]

Have you been in my head? How did you get in there?

Boy, how familiar!!! All the screaming that goes on in my head! But i've got a little button I push that makes a clear glass wall go up so that I can't hear them anymore. It's a little "trick" I made up. You have to be able to visualize, but it sounds like you're good at it.

When they get too loud, I push my "magic button" and the wall goes up. I can still see the "people" but I can't HEAR them. They can scream all they want, but it won't do any good. Sooner or later they'll shut up cause they know I can't hear them. Then they quit screaming, and go away. That's when I can let the wall back down, until next time.

I use this all the time. I told my shrink about it, and he loved it -- he said he was going to suggest that his other patients use it too.

It works for me! MAYBE it will work for you. Hugs, Lee

[Sometimes psychotic]

http://forums.psychcentral.com/schiz...cinations.html

Some more suggestions.

[Wolfgang34]

Originally Posted by Leed

Have you been in my head? How did you get in there?

Boy, how familiar!!! All the screaming that goes on in my head! But i've got a little button I push that makes a clear glass wall go up so that I can't hear them anymore. It's a little "trick" I made up. You have to be able to visualize, but it sounds like you're good at it.

When they get too loud, I push my "magic button" and the wall goes up. I can still see the "people" but I can't HEAR them. They can scream all they want, but it won't do any good. Sooner or later they'll shut up cause they know I can't hear them. Then they quit screaming, and go away. That's when I can let the wall back down, until next time.

I use this all the time. I told my shrink about it, and he loved it -- he said he was going to suggest that his other patients use it too.

It works for me! MAYBE it will work for you. Hugs, Lee

I usually pat my hands, pat them against a part of my body or against something hard to "drive" the thoughts away.

[Wolfgang34]

Alright, so I didn't have any problem until now. It's begging to flare up again. This might not be anxiety related.