New Here - Have Child with Separation Anxiety

I am new to this, but I am out of friends who will listen. My daughter, the straight A 5th grade student, hates school. She manufactures illnesses. She hyperventilates when I drop her off and cries well into her second block of classes. She says "my stomach hurts." We have done medical tests, all negative. She has an appointment with a counselor tomorrow. I just feel like I have failed her completely. I am, for the most part a stay at home mom and I feel like she may have gotten a raw deal. She is hopefully going to get her coping skills tomorrow. Now I need to get mine. Does anyone else have this problem? No one seems to understand. Her teachers think she's great. She makes lots of friends...I just needed to get this off my chest to someone who wouldn't roll their eyes at me and sigh. Thanks

Hum talk with her school consulor or see a Child Psychologist. Good bless!
Sarah

(((((( soccerdancemom ))))))

Are you sure she is happy at school? How long has this been going on or has it always been this way? If this behaviour hasn't always been there you might consider that she had experienced something traumatic that she hasn't talked about yet.

If this is a new experience this year...maybe something has happened to make her feel this way...could she be being bullied at school? maybe a child psychologist would be the answer...Wish you good luck and mom...don't worry you are doing your best for your daughter!!!

Hi, and Welcome! My son did something similar when he was in the 5th grade because the kids on the bus were picking on him about his clothes.

He had nice clothes but he didn't have many because being a single mom, we didn't have much.He didn't want to tell me what was wrong because he was afraid my feelings would be hurt.

He was carrying an awful lot of stress on his little shoulders.Hopefully your daughter has had something like this happen to her and not something more serious, or traumatic.

Just let her know she is safe telling you whatever is bothering her. That she doesn't have to deal with whatever it is by herself. being there for her might be all you can do for a while.

Be sure to take care of yourself so that you can be strong enough to be there for her as you get through whatever is bothering her.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers... hoping for good things to happen!

Has she been tested for H. Pylori? It's very important that she has not been on any antibiotic or peptobismal for one month prior to that type of blood test, amongs a few other drugs weeks prior to testing, as you won't get an accurate read.

My niece was having similar issues, went through many tests etc...and it continued to get worse for her. Until she started crying and moaning in pain at night as well...I told my sister have her tested for H. Pylori..she indeed did have H. Pylori and was treated for it. She started doing better with going back to school as well. I hope whatever is going on, you two can weather it. It's difficult, and she's coming to that age for "girls" that womenly changes start happening, so she may just be having some nasty old mood swings. The premenstruating times that young ladies go through for up to a year or more before getting their periods. argh!!! hugs, Lisa

It is very good you are looking at this issue with eyes wide open. Children have issues just as debilitating as do adults. Further, these issues can become hard wired into their brains leaving them with life long consequences. My parents ignored their children's psychological issues as we grew up. The results were 3 of 4 of us have some degree of chronic mental disability - one was fatal.

Its great you are getting your child help, its the first step. Its not your fault your child is this way. Your little girl reminds me of myself at her age. I was always insecure at school, I felt safer with my mom. It may take time, but she will improve. Right now she needs your support and love. Good luck.

hi,

I'm new here too. I have have been in your shoes with my daughter. Same everything. I would hardly get to work when I would have to go to school to her. We went to counselor for about 2 years for anxiety disorder. It was soooo bad that I couldn't get out of her sight. It was like being attached at the hip. My daughter is going on her First slumber party ever this weekend! Like the others have said talk w/ her teacher, school counselor and if nothing (remember nothing to us - adults- can be traumatic to a preteen) is going on there. then look into professional counseling. Took us two tries to find a counselor my daughter & I could connect with.
joyl

I'm feeling your pain. My daughter is 15 and lost her spirit and desire to go to school. I can't get her to go. She too was an awesome student, outgoing and loves her friends. Her stomach kept on hurting and we just thought she was just a "complainer". AFter a day off from school here and there and always going to the health room, he doctor had complete bloodwork done. She was diagnosed with H-Pylori (bacterial parasite). She then got acid reflux, stomach hurts and she throws up daily. She was on a 10-day high dose of antibiotics along with Nexium and another stomach drug. This has been going on for 4 months now. She has missed 50 days of school. She has the runs, sometimes she has a slight fever and her stomach always hurts. I took her to a gastroenterologist and right away he wanted to do an endoscopy. My daughter did not want that done. I wasn't sure either. Her MD and I decided to do another 10 day regiment of the antibiotics and all the meds that go with it. I also took her to a psychologist so she had somebody to talk to....beside her father or me. To add to this she has the runs and tons of allergies.

Now that I read your forum, I wonder if she doesn't want to leave me. I work all day so that really wouldn't make sense. I am emotionally drained and am thinking about online high school. There seems to be some good schools that would include clubs for social networking, etc.