[jk2833]

Hi all I really need some advice please.
I've suffered with anxiety and depression since I was 9 years old I'm now 35 married with two children.
I have never told, discussed or even mention this to my children purposely as I was always afraid they would adopt my thoughts or behaviours ( I'm qualified in child psychology) so I know how easily this can be done, if that's the correct wording?
The problem is my 16 year old son is having a few chest pains and he's having a bit of a difficult time at the moment, the way he describes them to me appears to be anxiety, however I've not said this to him.
We have a great relationship and discuss any worries or concerns he may have so he can vent anything to me how great or small it may be.
I'm absolutely terrified that he does have anxiety as I want him to be confident and basically all the things I wasn't at that age, and I also don't want to rush him to the doctors incase this is just something that will pass in a short while.
Please can anyone share their own experience of this with me or advise me?
Take care
J

[yellowfrog268]

Hello J,

I know you said you don't want to rush him to the doctor but I do think a appointment with his primary might be in order. Chest pain in a teenager needs to be assessed!
If in fact the cause of the pain isn't anything physical, the doc might just bring up the topic of stress or anxiety as this is typically the only other reason for chest pains. Maybe you could even talk to the primary before the appointment and let him know your concerns.

[healingme4me]

I agree with yellowfrog. Address at his next appointment with his doctor. Maybe, they will run some tests to rule out anything physical, and then his doctor can recommend the next steps necessary, if there isn't anything physical.

It could be hereditary? I feel I get what you mean, though about not wanting to worrying him about this being a possibility, nor lead him to convince himself, that it's along that line.

Hope you find answers and solace

[Miswimmy1]

I think anxiety can be hereditary. I think taking him to the doc would be a good idea... even if its just the primary care doc... if not anything else, to just rule out that it isn't a physical ailment.

[RedBarchetta]

Well, so far Generalized Anxiety Disorder is my only official Diagnosis (though I am SURE there is a lot more than that there) - I can tell you that both my sisters have that DX too - dad had no issues at all (almost too perfect, to the point that was frightening) - mom, while she has no DX, that is solely because she absolutely will not say anything to her doctor - but myself, and my 2 sisters say it's a much worst case than any of us have...

[shortandcute]

Well, I'm pretty sure that our kids can get what we have. I have anxiety and depression also and my son also has depression and my teenage daughter has anxiety.

It could be, but it could also be simply seasonal allergy (the lungs clamping down because of allergens in the atmosphere). I would go with a physical from your personal physician first to rule out anything there. Then, I'd see an allergist with him if your personal doctor thinks it might be an allergy.

It could be so many different things. I hope you won't be overly alarmed at this point,
but I agree with everyone that you need a doctor's diagnosis to make sure your son
is okay physically.

[jk2833]

Originally Posted by RedBarchetta

Well, so far Generalized Anxiety Disorder is my only official Diagnosis (though I am SURE there is a lot more than that there) - I can tell you that both my sisters have that DX too - dad had no issues at all (almost too perfect, to the point that was frightening) - mom, while she has no DX, that is solely because she absolutely will not say anything to her doctor - but myself, and my 2 sisters say it's a much worst case than any of us have...

Hi there thanks for your reply, interestingly enough I have GAD and had no issues or hereditary illness that could of been passed on.
I suppose I'm just afraid that my parents will say 'its off you, your fault' as my mother can be like that sometimes.
Many thanks
J

[Odee]

If it is anxiety, then I think it is worse to ignore it. You are allowing your child to feel alone, frightened, and probably ashamed because he is worried about something that is not serious enough to be acknowledged. You are a child psychologist so you would know better than me, but it also seems like you can circumvent your child from adopting your anxiousness by encouraging him to adopt your positive behaviors. You could kickstart his recovery from anxiety with a healthier, open mindset rather than letting him fester his thoughts alone, producing negative behavior regardless of how much you hide your own.

If he really isn't anxious, I don't think that someone can just "pick up" an anxiety disorder. It's true that parents can breed fears, but without a disorder he would be more able to easily dismiss them.

Life would have been so much nicer for me if I had someone who understood what I experience and simply told me it's okay, you can cope, we will help you, etc. Let him know that it is a surmountable struggle.

[jk2833]

Thanks for the replies, my son has stopped getting the chest pain so I'm quite relieved.
So pleased I didn't make a huge deal out of it however if it the occurs I will be taking him to get checked out
Take care
J