[emanuelabianca]

Hello. I wanted to ask if there is anything wrong with the fact that I can't stand people quarelling. I know it sounds silly, but I hate the high pitch of the voice and I had some reactions to it, like: I get very angry myself and I can barely control my actions and words. It's like a wave of negative energy that unleashes dark sides. I always feel the need to stop them even when I know I can't. It just makes me feel insecure and breaks my inner peace. I really don't know how to describe it properly, it feels like somebody hits me in the head with a hammer. Guess it has it roots in the childhood 'cause I heard people screaming at each other too much and I probably became over-sensitive.

[SomeoneToTrust]

Hi emanuelabianca,
I also hate people fighting and quarreling. I find it very disturbing for my inner peace. But have you ever been into any sort of situation where people are arguing with you, literally your are being scolded or you are dealing with a very angry person? Do you feel threatened while someone is arguing with you in a loud voice? I don't know what you'd say but I'm really scared when someone does any of those activities with me. I feel insecure and really scared to confront others or stand up to someone's face and utter the righteous words. I don't know what to tell you regarding this but I hope you will be fine soon enough.

[emanuelabianca]

Hey! I'm sorry to hear that about you. I guess it's a little bit different. When I was little and my dad used to scold me I would not utter a word, now I talk back sometimes, which is not always good. Yup, I sometimes feel threatened. I had one major conflict at 18 with my dad and I was afraid that would beat me. He has a very agressive way of talking and I panicked very bad. He himself comes from a very violent family. He once told me that his dad followed him when he was only 5 with a knife.
He tries to diminish his reactions, but sometimes over reacts.
It'll not get away from me, I know that. I just wondered if there's a way to make it easier.
You should be careful too. If you are introvert now it might become the opposite one day. That's the way it works. I don't know you that well, but you know, we have a defence mechanism. When we took too much, we over-react. You should try to talk to somebody , not only from here. Just try to tell somebody how you feel. You cannot keep it to yourself forever, it can also damage your health step by step. Take care and remember baby steps are the best

Originally Posted by SomeoneToTrust

Hi emanuelabianca,
I also hate people fighting and quarreling. I find it very disturbing for my inner peace. But have you ever been into any sort of situation where people are arguing with you, literally your are being scolded or you are dealing with a very angry person? Do you feel threatened while someone is arguing with you in a loud voice? I don't know what you'd say but I'm really scared when someone does any of those activities with me. I feel insecure and really scared to confront others or stand up to someone's face and utter the righteous words. I don't know what to tell you regarding this but I hope you will be fine soon enough.

[Redsoft]

Yes, fighting makes me very upset as well. I, too, get angry, but that may also be due to anger problems in general. Makes me want to just punch both parties in the face to make it stop. I can't deal with loud noises. Even if someone is just speaking loudly in a place where you're supposed to use your inside voice (lol - that's all the time for me :P), it makes my anxiety rise immediately. I don't even like fireworks unless I'm far away!

I think maybe it makes me think of uncomfortable situations as a kid. I have always been quiet, but very, very much so as a child, and for some reason (at least in this culture) being quiet seems to make people think they can treat you like a doormat or like a third-party. Now, maybe to make up for it, if someone I know yells at me...it's on.

People yelling/being loud is for loud places or getting upset! At least to me. So if I hear yelling outside a loud atmosphere, my body just reacts as if something bad is happening or about to.