[htebsiL radnalaS]

to be honest i am anxious about my parents coming to visit next monday:
will they be their usual negative?
will i be able to deflect their negativity?
will our usual dynamics, that are so painful for me, take over?
will i be able to call upon all that is positive and confidant and strong inside me?
will i betray myself and resort to my self-sabotaging critical self?
am i strong enough now for this visit?
will i become overwhelmed?
will i be able to stay centered regardless of triggers from them?
will we all react to each other as usual?
will it be a good visit?
will i become overwhelmed with sorrow and angst after choosing not to see my narcissistic alcoholic rage-aholic dad and narcissistic mom for over a decade?
will i become overwhelmed with feelings of grief and loss over never having had that family i deserved, parents i deserved?
will i remember what i keep telling myself now, it is what it is. accept. and be here now. will that be enough to keep agony, loss, pain at bay?
what else do i need to do to help myself thru this? am i expecting some perfection from myself during this?

[htebsiL radnalaS]

remember sleep and breathing and mantras like, om and i need more mantras!!!!! i am freaking myself out

[unaluna]

Who will you be when you talk to them? When I can answer that question, I'll see my family. When I know who I am. Much love and luck!!

[htebsiL radnalaS]

Originally Posted by hankster

Who will you be when you talk to them? When I can answer that question, I'll see my family. When I know who I am. Much love and luck!!

hmmm. i like that question. thanks.
i will be the hippie chick that i am. i will feel physically fit. i will be the magical goddess connected to nature that i am. i will be the woman that has evolved to stopping their criticisms in their tracks by simply not honoring it with any reaction other than, "you need to stop."