[henrydavidtherobot]

I've suffered from GAD and Panic since I was in middle school. Though I don't have panic attacks very often anymore, my level of anxiety keeps getting worse.

When I go out, I don't feel too nervous to be around people, but afterwards, I often deal with crippling anxiety over having disclosed too much about myself or come off as unfavorably. At times, I try to change myself so I fit in better, but I'm always going to end up being me, so I want to get used to being me without hating myself for it later.

After a fun night, I always spend the next day bashing myself for the possibility of maybe having said or done something wrong. Next year, I'm living alone, in part to get rid of the possibility of me doing something that people who live with me could judge me for. Often, I don't even want to have friends because having friends causes me so much stress, even though they never tell me that I am bad and appear to like me and don't understand why I apologize all of the time.

This is a big issue that is making me unhappy and interfering with my ability to keep/make friendships. I'm not sure if its anxiety, social anxiety, or just a lack of confidence. Help!

[spondiferous]

I think it's probably more on the side of generalized anxiety than social anxiety, though there definitely seems to be a social element to it. And definitely a lack of confidence (I don't mean that as a judgement, but just recognize it for myself). I have the same problem. It doesn't matter what I do or what happens. I am almost constantly obsessed with how things could have been different, why I said that, what she thinks of me now, etc. Sometimes it takes total control and I start to feel like I hate myself. Other times I can dismiss it fairly quickly. But it always gets in the way. Have you discussed with a therapist or loved one? I find that having friends I can share with, and my partner and counsellor and sister, help me not feel so alone in it, which makes me not feel like such a bad person after all.