[atomicc]

I assume that many of you are of the age where you live alone or have lived alone before. I'm 22 and in the process of applying to grad schools out of state, where I'd have to go live alone quite possibly. My boyfriend hasn't quite decided if he'd come..most likely not. I'd be in a brand new state knowing absolutely no one. I'm scared that I won't be able to do this..but I think it'd be extremely beneficial for me because I have kept myself so sheltered all my life. My anxiety has kept me from doing many things because I'm scared to do them alone. I'm scared of a lot of things really and I worry about every little thing.

My question for you all is How did you handle your anxiety if you ever lived alone? Did it cause a problem? If so, how did you deal with it?
Am I just being naive thinking someone like me could ever handle this?

[duende]

Atomicc,

It's definitely a challenge for me. While I'm older and a returning student, I'm kind of in a similar place (living alone after not) and deal with a similar thing. Just wanted to say though that you're certainly not alone in having this question and dealing with anxiety. I'm sure someone up here has some good advice on your two questions:

My question for you all is How did you handle your anxiety if you ever lived alone? Did it cause a problem? If so, how did you deal with it?
Am I just being naive thinking someone like me could ever handle this?

[June55]

Call or text people when feeling anxious.

[atomicc]

Thank you. Does any one have any other advice? Calling people doesn't really do the trick for me, the phone actually makes me more anxious.

I've lived on my own for many years now. I find CBT, mindfulness and relaxation extremely helpful in combating those anxious thoughts and feelings. It is daunting moving to a new place, having some anxiety is normal, so try not to let it overwhelm you. Goodluck, its going to be an adventure!

[winter4me]

Better to DO than not. I am growing old and have lived a lifetime with anxiety etal, and going to a new place is a great adventure---you will still struggle, remember living with someone didn't take the anxiety away----I think, being in school, you will be busy enough, and meeting enough people to give you room to grow----
I was married 20yrs, divorced nearly as long now, and am alone.
Things to do,,,,way back in college I took a lot of showers, warmth, immersion, the sound of water, and walks, long walks. I still walk, like to go about with a camera, and I knit something simple, or come here, ---stretching is good, self-soothing things, making a big deal of preparing a cup of hot tea or coffee and some toast,
the purr of the cat------Supanova has the right ideas---mindfulness, etc---and you may find others to do it with-- Do get out there and go for it. You won't regret it. And you can take PC folks with you always. Big hugs.

[SeekingZen]

Hey atomicc,

I agree with winter4me. You should definitely go for it! I can't tell you how many things I regret not having done because of my anxiety & the fear of doing things alone. Although I'm older than you, I've only actually lived alone for about a year of my life, so I don't have much in the way of advice on that front. I can tell you that it was actually more empowering than frightening overall though.

I have been thinking about moving to a new city if I get into a graduate program also. So, just know that there are other people out there that feel the same way you do (even though it may not feel like it most of the time)!

When you move, maybe you could join a Meetup group as a way of meeting new people. There may even be one for others who are dealing with anxiety, which may make you more comfortable in your new surroundings.

Best of luck to you atomicc! BTW, what are you going to be studying?

[Mustkeepjob32]

I'm no one to give advice on handling anxiety because I really am bad at it, but I wanted to say congrats on going to grad school! I'm sure it's anxiety producing but it also is a wonderful thing and I'm so pro more and more education.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Am I just being naive thinking someone like me could ever handle this?

I feel like this, too. I'm in the process of trying to get a place of my own, and I'm not feeling confident that I can handle it. I'm 27.

[atomicc]

Originally Posted by SeekingZen

I have been thinking about moving to a new city if I get into a graduate program also. So, just know that there are other people out there that feel the same way you do (even though it may not feel like it most of the time)!

When you move, maybe you could join a Meetup group as a way of meeting new people. There may even be one for others who are dealing with anxiety, which may make you more comfortable in your new surroundings.

Best of luck to you atomicc! BTW, what are you going to be studying?

Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone! I'm usually pretty good at making friends in all my classes so hopefully people in a new school aren't super unfriendly!
And I'm going for my masters in clinical mental health counseling.

I feel like this, too. I'm in the process of trying to get a place of my own, and I'm not feeling confident that I can handle it. I'm 27.

It's upsetting to me sometimes that things that are just a way of life or..right of passage for others, cause us so much dread and apprehension.
We CAN handle it though, we just need a little extra strength to do so. Good luck to you as well, Zwangsstörung!

[winter4me]

Go for it. You can "use" the experience in your field of study...

[jacq10]

You can do it! I agree with the thought that the best thing you can do it actually DO something. If you find yourself becoming anxious, get up and go for a walk, go do something physical like exercise or something. And once you make friends, just getting up and going out with them is good! Tonight for example, I was feeling anxious, and instead of stewing in my anxiety, I texted a friend and ended up briefly going over to his place. Just the idea of changing scenery and getting your mind off something is sometimes enough to distract you away from your anxiety.. even momentarily.

Mindfulness and yoga have really helped me as well.

Hope that helps.
Jacq

[arachnophobia.kid]

This sounds pretty tough atomicc. I had a similar experience and I think it's very normal to be afraid. I want to share my experience with you because it might give you some hope.

I was kicked out of my parents place in a sort of polite way about a year and a half ago. I took it extremely hard and I went through probably one of the worst break downs I've ever had. I moved into an apartment on my own and I was very afraid that I wouldn't be able to make it, I cried a lot, and I didn't get a lot of support from people unfortunately. So in effect I didn't handle it well at all, I used drugs and alcohol and self mutilation to cope at first. But soon I began to really take pleasure in taking care of myself and I cherished having my own space. I took care of my apartment and I adopted a cat for some companionship. On the better days I really started to enjoy life on my own.

There were some major growing pains but now I absolutely love living on my own and I'm thankful for the experience in hindsight. I learned a lot and I'm better off for it. Hopefully your experience will not be as painful as mine and I hope that you find peace about it like I have.

Maybe try to see it as a blessing in disguise? Because it truly is a privilege that you can go to school and live in a new place. It's going to be a very rich time in your life.

Hope this helps. All the best to you with this situation.

[atomicc]

Originally Posted by arachnophobia.kid

This sounds pretty tough atomicc. I had a similar experience and I think it's very normal to be afraid. I want to share my experience with you because it might give you some hope.

I was kicked out of my parents place in a sort of polite way about a year and a half ago. I took it extremely hard and I went through probably one of the worst break downs I've ever had. I moved into an apartment on my own and I was very afraid that I wouldn't be able to make it, I cried a lot, and I didn't get a lot of support from people unfortunately. So in effect I didn't handle it well at all, I used drugs and alcohol and self mutilation to cope at first. But soon I began to really take pleasure in taking care of myself and I cherished having my own space. I took care of my apartment and I adopted a cat for some companionship. On the better days I really started to enjoy life on my own.

There were some major growing pains but now I absolutely love living on my own and I'm thankful for the experience in hindsight. I learned a lot and I'm better off for it. Hopefully your experience will not be as painful as mine and I hope that you find peace about it like I have.

Maybe try to see it as a blessing in disguise? Because it truly is a privilege that you can go to school and live in a new place. It's going to be a very rich time in your life.

Hope this helps. All the best to you with this situation.

Thank you! This really helped me