[winterglen]

Last night's rerun episode of South Park, the HumancentiPad episode, freaked me out.

I'm not that easily scared by movies. I like horror movies, though I haven't seen The Human Centipede, because I prefer spooks and specters horror to human torture.

Oddly,I don't think the actual movie would have terrified me as much as the South Park episode. What terrified me the most was that the South Park characters had to endure this because they didn't read a trivial contract before they signed it. So their torture was out in full view of the world and everybody decided it was okay because "they should have read the agreement before they signed it."

This plays directly on to my fears that I am utterly unprepared for life. I constantly run into situations where I receive a terrible grade at school or I make a stupid blunder at work, and then everyone's attitude around me is as if I had committed some foul act. "Why didn't you do a better job? Why didn't you try harder? You deserve this, you disgusting failure. If you didn't want people to treat you like carp, you shouldn't be such a failure."

I know it's just a cartoon and I shouldn't take it so seriously, but I feel like that's my life story. I do something wrong, I end up suffering, and everyone tells me that I deserve to suffer, because I shouldn't have "chosen" to be so stupid and lazy and disgusting. To add to that, I continue to make the same mistakes over and over, because it feels like there's nothing I can do to stop them.

I feel so stupid for letting a TV show affect me so much. I hate that I turned in to that kind of person.

So I guess I won't be doing any software updates in the near future.

[gayleggg]

It's good you were able to come here and share your anxiety. I think is something that media does to us sometime. It makes us look at our selves. Unfortunately, you picked up on the negative side of a show. You have to look at the other side of things. The things you do right. And we put way to much emphisis on ourselves in that most people really aren't paying that much attention to us because they are too busy watching out for themselves. Be kinder to yourself. I'm sure you are not giving yourself enough credit.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

I'm a very sensitive viewer - I have to be extremely careful what I watch. I can't watch horror movies, for a start. ¬_¬ My OCD goes nucking futs at some of the sick crap they show on TV, nowadays.

[Mustkeepjob32]

I love horror films, not the ghost type, but the stabb 'em up with suspense, good acting, and a plot. I realize few films fit all those categories.
However, I think real life can be a horror movie more scary than anything I've seen before. Like the anxiety I feel in my chest right now is the real horror.