[adampeps]

Hi all,

A couple of years ago new neighbors moved in with the yappiest dog I have ever heard (and i've heard some bad ones). It got so bad that they would let it out and it would just bark at your while you were in your backyard. Even when it was inside you could hear it as they left the windows open. I finally spoke to them and since then it has been a bit better. With someone that has low self esteem and confidence this was hard.

My problem now is that just about anything they do I can't stand. If the dog is outside I feel the need to sometimes make sure that they are watching. When I hear them come home with the "boom boom" on their car bass I just want to tell them how stupid that is. When I walk by or drive by their house, I always start to feel a little nervous. And I have no idea why.

Is there a reason why these people could be taking up a large chunk of my thoughts, and why I should be as bothered as I am? It's almost like they've annoyed me so much that anything they do angers me. It's just not healthy but i'm not sure how to fix it.

Thanks all!

[Sneezyyy]

I'm not sure why but barking dogs really get under my skin.

Sneezyyy

[Little Lulu]

Good for you for noticing this character defect in yourself and wanting to work on it. It is a great opportunity for growth.

Of course the dog, boom box, etc are annoying and you have the right to address it with them. But when I get overly focused on other people, I blame them for my unhappiness and I don't get the chance to work on my real issue - my low self-esteem and mood issues.

When I get in this rut, it helps me to admit I am not where I would like to be (you've already done this), take extra good care of myself, and wish those irritating people well, even if I don't mean it. When I feel better I will actually either mean it or I will be busy being happier and won't care.

[adampeps]

Originally Posted by Sneezyyy

I'm not sure why but barking dogs really get under my skin.

Sneezyyy

Yup, me too! But the odd thing is we have another neighbor who has a bigger dog that barks as well. It isn't as much but sometimes you can hear it from inside my house especially if it sees another dog walk by. But we like these neighbors and have always got along with them. So although it is annoying, I don't feel my anxiety or bad mood set in. It makes me feel like I am a bit hypocritical myself.

[adampeps]

Originally Posted by Little Lulu

Good for you for noticing this character defect in yourself and wanting to work on it. It is a great opportunity for growth.

Of course the dog, boom box, etc are annoying and you have the right to address it with them. But when I get overly focused on other people, I blame them for my unhappiness and I don't get the chance to work on my real issue - my low self-esteem and mood issues.

When I get in this rut, it helps me to admit I am not where I would like to be (you've already done this), take extra good care of myself, and wish those irritating people well, even if I don't mean it. When I feel better I will actually either mean it or I will be busy being happier and won't care.

Wow, thank you! That sounds so similar to my situation and I am guessing that I am blaming them too for my shortcomings. I talked to them about the dog, but never about the loud music. I don't want to be the only one that asks them to stop things and am waiting for someone else to talk to them (others on the street have said they are very annoying as well).

It's frustrating because I want to be like most people where I say, wow that's annoying but whatever, I have better things to worry about. But I can't seem to do it.

I too wave at them as I drive by almost to say I am nice as well. But I still can't help the hatred I have for them. For instance the other day I saw one of them visit someone around the corner. As stupid as this is, I was always hoping that they didn't have many friends or enjoyment since I don't enjoy them myself.

It's a terrible way to think, but am guessing it must come down to my own self-worth?

Thanks again!

[Charl S]

I'm so sorry you are having to put up with this. It really does make your life hell when you can't relax in your own home. It should be the place you come to unwind after a tough day, someplace you look forward to being at. But some people really can make it difficult.

I've also ended up in the same situation. I have been staying in the same place for over four years and have never had any problems until my new neighbours moved in. Within weeks of them moving in the problems started. Things that never used to be a problem suddenly became issues. And I have had seven people stay next to me during the time I have stayed there!

They are just generally obnoxious and it has become so bad that we are not on speaking terms at all. We don't even make eye contact. And we live right next door to each other!

They make such a noise, yet they complain about my dogs barking. I don't feel at ease in my own home anymore. Everytime I drive into the gate I am filled with anxiety and dread for being there. I feel like I am being bullied, because the landlord has said that the situation is out of his hands and we just have to be considerate to each other.

I have been looking for another place to stay, but it is not easy to find something I can afford that is the same as I have now. And I feel done in because I have always been happy where I was until they moved in. I keep hoping they will move, as people who move into that place never stay long. But, I'm scared they will be the ones that stay. And I will make myself more miserable just waiting it out.

In my opinion, asking neighbours to be quiet never works out. It only leads to them being spiteful and making more noise. Looks like my only option is to find somewhere else to stay...

I really hope you can get this situation sorted out and go back to feeling normal in your own home. You have my sympathies, I know exactly how you feel. Best of luck. If it works out, maybe you can give me some advice